time with the kids

[narwhalParticipant]

One thing I’ve thought of a bit lately is the amount of time I have with my kids. It’s been suggested that in a more ideal world, parental rights should go with the parent who is more financially stable, and in my case. That’s me.

So how would be if the kids spent the majority of time with me instead of mom, or if mom was out of the picture? I’ll be honest, I don’t know that I want more time with my kids. I value my time with the kids, but I also value my time alone. I value being able to go as please with considering who’s watching the kids or whether or not what I want to do will be fun for the kids.

I obviously would love to have all my CS money back, but it’s not as if I don’t get anything out of those payments. If they were with me full time, I’d be paying for after school care, extra food, clothing, etc. I currently don’t worry much about education and medical, as I leave that to the ex. I would have to spend more time cooking and cleaning then I do now.

In my case, I don’t think I’d ever argue to change my parental rights unless my ex started failing at her current role. And I’m relatively happy with the way it’s going…since it could be a lot worse.

I’m curious of other father’s have had similar thoughts. I don’t think I was built to handle all childcare responsibilities on my own and don’t think I’d be happier that way.

This also ties in to the idea that one day men will be able to have children artificially without involving women at all. If that were an option today, I think I would opt to go childless. Then again, I imagine much of what is currently a family would look a lot different, and the services available to men raising a child alone could be much different as well.

Ok. Then do it.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

I have just always tried to get the most out of whatever situation I’m in at that part of my life. For example, when I was married I loved being home with them in the evening. I gave up a ton of freedom for that, but you know it’s only temporary and you’ll have your freedom back when they move out. I hated being married to someone that hated me, but instead of focusing on that I focused on what I did enjoy.

When the divorce went down, I could have sat back and been depressed about not being with my kids every night, or I could focus on the new freedom. I chose the later. Almost every spot you are in life there is a positive side. When I hit a bad patch, at least I don’t sit and lament the fact that I didn’t take full advantage of where I was when times were good.

So, if my ex dies suddenly in some freak wine cork accident, or if she forgets to hold one branch while swinging to a new one and breaks her neck when she splats on the jungle floor, then I will happily take my children back full time and enjoy it. Absent that, I will continue to enjoy my freedom.

No matter what happens my toes are still tappin’. (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)

Order the good wine

[HitmanParticipant]

I would have my kid 24/7 if I could. .
But barring some tragedy, I have every weekend and a few evenings per week..
I like my alone time too..
But I try and make the best of the situation. .
Could be much worse. .
I am sometimes overwhelmed by the demands of the child. .
I walk outside for a minute, go back and see that it’s a child. .not some 6 foot tall grownup. .
Parenting is really a two person job. .
But I won’t miss the time with the crazy ex..
I just cherish the time I have with my kid. .
Cliche, but they do grow up fast. .soo I don’t waste much of the time we have together. .

[Biggvs_DickvsParticipant 3725]

narwhal wrote:

I’m curious of other father’s have had similar thoughts.

Yep, I’m right there with you. Unlike what so many on here would have you believe, there IS and actual difference between types of women out there.

There are the primadonna “Kartrashian” types. You know who I mean.

Then there are the types that are more like the people from Fargo. Pick the movie or either series.

Get the difference?

Problem is, most of the time the Fargo types aren’t all that hot, at lest not to the point where you could picture yourself coming home and f~~~ing that for the rest of your life.

But the smokin hot f~~~able types invariably have a Kartrashian streak and well, you know the rest.

I personally decided to reproduce with a Fargo type. For the most part she’s a very decent human being, and like you I’m happy to still have a life when the kiddo is at moms. Plus I have nearly equal time and the CS I pay (directly, not through the system) is at least fairly well spent.

If I had reproduced with a kardashian? Who the f~~~ knows.

"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,

[Chaff/FlareParticipant 3235]

narwhal wrote:

One thing I’ve thought of a bit lately is the amount of time I have with my kids. It’s been suggested that in a more ideal world, parental rights should go with the parent who is more financially stable, and in my case. That’s me.

So how would be if the kids spent the majority of time with me instead of mom, or if mom was out of the picture? I’ll be honest, I don’t know that I want more time with my kids. I value my time with the kids, but I also value my time alone. I value being able to go as please with considering who’s watching the kids or whether or not what I want to do will be fun for the kids.

I obviously would love to have all my CS money back, but it’s not as if I don’t get anything out of those payments. If they were with me full time, I’d be paying for after school care, extra food, clothing, etc. I currently don’t worry much about education and medical, as I leave that to the ex. I would have to spend more time cooking and cleaning then I do now.

In my case, I don’t think I’d ever argue to change my parental rights unless my ex started failing at her current role. And I’m relatively happy with the way it’s going…since it could be a lot worse.

I’m curious of other father’s have had similar thoughts. I don’t think I was built to handle all childcare responsibilities on my own and don’t think I’d be happier that way.

This also ties in to the idea that one day men will be able to have children artificially without involving women at all. If that were an option today, I think I would opt to go childless. Then again, I imagine much of what is currently a family would look a lot different, and the services available to men raising a child alone could be much different as well.

I think I’m way different than most. I always knew I wanted to be a dad. People are always shocked when I show up to an event with 10 children by myself (my kids and friends). Funny part is, the parents are more than happy to let me take them out. I bought a 14 pass ford van, and I only got two kids. I love to see the spark of a new and original thought in a kid. I spent ten years evaluating whether everything I felt was an original thought, and realized that each could always be traced back to a book, post, or conversation.

“We” are all these babies have (Shoot away men) . I play this game on all our drives, ” opposite world”. I just walked along a ridge at dawn, but f~~~ it”. Opposite world is a way of thinking differently: in “opposite world game”,kids say what they think is opposite. I always start:

Kid drives parent around
Kids have the money
Babies are born with beards, then loose hair as get older
Fish swim in air, people live in water

Etc…

What they say:

Mom has hair on her butt

Men have boobs

Your ears smell, and your nose listens

Mom cooks

All the kids that hang out with me know:

A tool box down to how to tap a hole
Break job including turning drums
Gapping a spark plug
How to harvest spinach seeds
Why tomatoes are actually a fruit, and a weed
What a wax ring is in the bathroom
How to make compost, and how to split water with:
Acid
Solar cell
Coal

I’m ranting.

I will always take the opportunity to care for the young. For them, my patience has no bounds, within my bounds.

When you find yourself in the majority, it's time to reflect.

[narwhalParticipant]

Thanks for the responses guys.

Ok. Then do it.

[Author]

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