Thoughts on loaning money to friends or family

[TrapperParticipant 2912]

I Will not do it!
Let me explain why this can be a disaster.

Back in my early 20’s my best friend was hard up. Nothing nefarious, his truck took a s~~~. I loaned him $350. Absolute chump change. He used it as part of a down payment. He then lost his job. I never asked for it once. He began to avoid me. I’d bump into him and things were awkward. We never hung out again. To me the money meant nothing, to him it was shame. Had I known this would happen I never would have done it. He meant more to me than $350.

So last year my brother asked if he could borrow some cash. I told him ABSOLUTELY NOT! I asked how much he needed and the next day swung by his place and GAVE him the money. He tried to refuse the “gift”. I told him take it as a gift or forget it. He gave me the first hug in 15 years.

Last week I got a check in the mail and he repaid me. I had totally forgotten about it. He didn’t.

Thought I’d throw out a lesson that cost me a very good friend and allowed me to get closer to my brother.

Never LOAN money to someone your not willing to lose. It can cause division even if you mean well.

[GrumpyParticipant]

When I “loan” money to family and friends. I always write it off, that way I’m never disappointed if they dont pay it back, and pleasantly surprised when they do.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[MutineerParticipant 1467]

I’m with Grumpy. Avoid going into business with friends and family.

"The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage." - Thucydides

[53ClicksUpParticipant 1345]

Lending money to anyone is very a bad idea. Not only for all the reasons stated above, but also you are likely enabling bad behavior. People who can’t adequately manage their finances come to rely on family as an alternative source of income. I have never borrowed money from anyone except from financial institutions. My younger brother however, has hit my poor mother up for many tens of thousands of dollar over the years. I mean it has got to upwards on the order of $100K now. She keeps bailing him out and he keeps overspending. Meanwhile the rest of the family keeps their nose to the grindstone working and living within their means and very much resent him for taking advantage of our own mother in this way. Quite frankly, I think he is an absolute piece of s~~~ for doing this. It just infuriates the living s~~~ out of me.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Trapper wrote:

I Will not do it!

Good plan!

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[foolsgoldParticipant 5646]

I heard a very true statement when I was a kid. “The best way to get rid of somebody is to loan them $50 bucks. You will never see them again”.

[HitmanParticipant]

no way.
talk them through the rough spot,
but as soon as you lend them some dough,
it all goes bad .

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Some 500 year old wisdom.
Hamlet

Act I Scene III

“Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.”
~LORD POLONIUS

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Grumpy wrote:

When I “loan” money to family and friends. I always write it off, that way I’m never disappointed if they dont pay it back, and pleasantly surprised when they do.

+10 there Grumpy
I use the same logic and do the same thing. I still lend money but I go into it knowing it’s a wash before I start.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

I owe my mom 20 large (dad’s life insurance money). Worst feeling ever since I can’t come up with it and probably won’t in the near future

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[WallyParticipant]

foolsgold wrote:

I heard a very true statement when I was a kid. “The best way to get rid of somebody is to loan them $50 bucks. You will never see them again”.

Nice! Made me laugh so hard.

Seriously don’t loan money expecting it to be returned, I gave my sister 4000 when she broke up with her lesbian lover and needed some money for her and her children. To her credit she paid back 3000 and I told her not to worry about other 1000.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[Russky2Participant 3086]

I had a friend that I have no longer as a friend. Guy borrowed money from me because he needed it to buy food for his kids. He was waiting for his check to cash in and said he would repay me.

Should have realized he wouldn’t pay me back when he dragged me to the casino and wasted my hard earned money right then and there. I was so p~~~ed of at the f~~~er. The f~~~er actually had a nerve to ask me for more money. I guess I have ATM written on my forehead!

MGTOW AKBAR

[hollowtipsParticipant 681]

I’ve lost 500$ in a damage deposit
and given 20$ to some guy I really didn’t know that well but it was in a time of need. He’s never bothered to pay me back.

I have no problem giving money to fam if they need it and I have it but I’m pretty much done lending to friends unless I become a millionaire.

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