This is like Ice water in the desert !

[radtech132Participant 18]

Hello, I am brand new here. I live in a city just about 15 minutes north of Seattle, WA. I’ve been married for almost 10 yrs (this Sept) with 4 kids. Ouch, I know. I can see the looks now. One of them is my natural son…long story. IVF with frozen, unrelated DNA embryos. My wife lost her ability to produce healthy eggs after our first son and nothing is ever enough for her.

Without boring you all to death, I need out of this hellhole I got myself into. Same ol’ story, I found the “unicorn”, we had a kid, we had more through IVF. Our youngest is 3 months old, our only girl. 16 months ago I was approached by her about another baby. I said no. Little by little she wore on me until about 3 months before the embryo transfer she told me, literally, she is going to have another baby with or without me through IVF. Then about a month before the transfer (I remember this vividly) I asked her her “So you’re divorcing if I don’t sign the paperwork and support you through this?”, her answer was “YES, I WILL”…..something along the lines of “we’ve come too far to back out now”…

So I pussed out and signed, NOT because I was afraid of her or divorce, because I was afraid of waking up in another house (Apt) without me three boys ever again…save every other weekend. Also getting gouged for CS even though she makes (literally) over twice my wages. So here I am, getting manipulated into everything and anything she see’s fit. Today I was threatened with divorce for not supporting her decision to buy a $2500 dining set when we owe the IRS 9K and our back yard fence is so dilapidated that I have old, interior doors blocking the rotting pickets so our dogs don’t get out. Today’s threat was just one of HUNDREDS over the last 2-3 years.

I’ve been recording her texts, emails, threats, manipulative and abusive bulls~~~ for 4 months now, recording anything I can, copying financial statements, mortgage records, taxes, remodels, everything. I plan on leaving in about a year being that I want to get our second car paid off and pay back the IRS 9K that we owe due to HER pulling 16K out of HER 401 and not addressing that. Complete bulls~~~.

There is a lot of other crap but like I said, I don’t want to bore you anymore. I just want to reach out. I’ve joined (obviously) and will visit often. I need all the help and guidance I can get. Any advice for lawyers, what to do, anything.

If anything, it helps just to type this knowing someone will read it soon. I see that MGTOW doesn’t really like allowing married men in but really, I am so far from “marriage” it’s not even comical. Legally yes but that’s where it ends.

 

Thanks for listening.

[griffinParticipant 189]

Well that sounds like a really s~~~ty situation. Being a Canadian I’m not entirely certain on what the divorce laws are in America but I’m sure they are similar to here. I’d go see a couple different good family lawyers in secret if you can and try to get as much information first before initiating anything. Odd are even though she makes more money, having 4 kids, your probably going to get majorly f~~~ed over regardless….which sucks. I certainly don’t envy your situation.

I recently went though a common law separation ( we were together for 7 years, no kids ) and still got fairly screwed over myself in that ordeal. But the main thing I think is to try to stay calm and emotionally detached once the process starts. Women will try all kinds of things to try to get you p~~~ed off and acting irrationally…don’t fall for this!

If anything try to be as pleasant to her as possible after the initial s~~~ storm of breaking up…while that may not succeed in helping much, it also could help a lot….I truly believe women try to get a man p~~~ed off at them just so they can justify their actions of taking/wanting even more. I know in my case had I been more of an ass about the process, she probably would have tried to take me for a whole lot more than she did….sure I suppose some might think you’re “pussing” out by taking a more passive stance…but f~~~ that..your s~~~ is your s~~~ and the goal should be to try to maintain as much of it as possible……good luck!

[Executor MaxwellParticipant 591]

That is quite a story. I don’t feel prepared to respond to all of it so I’m just going to bite off the chunk at the end for now.

I think you’ll find this a welcoming place,  not being married and opposing marriage are what make MGTOW matter, the anti-marriage stance is fundamental and critical to MGTOW, but you don’t seem to be looking to try and support the idea that we should be married so I’d say you have the right of it.

I personally I like Turd Flinging Monkey’s suggestion of terms and consider you “Awakened While Married”

So welcome to the community.

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

Married and wishing you weren’t: fine
Married and trying to sell other men a s~~~ sandwich about how great your unicorn wife is: Get the f~~~ out

That is my stance. It isn’t about being technically married it is about being “happily married” <— LOL

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome! You are in good company, as you have no doubt discovered from others’ stories.

I see that MGTOW doesn’t really like allowing married men in …

MGTOW does not have membership rules. If you say so, then you are a MGHOW without regard to your external circumstances. There’s no ‘in’ in here.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[radtech132Participant 18]

AWM. Well I’ve got a title now (aside from MGTOW), thanks Maxwell. Thank you for the kind reply’s from all. Yes I swallowed the red pill some years ago but didn’t even know what I swallowed until I found a video on YouTube which in turn led me here.  There is no way in hell I’m staying married. I would rather live in “the smallest apt I can find” than this. Whats funny is my boys are 8, 5 , and 3 and the two oldest boys see through her without me saying a word.

No way I’m staying in this. She works nights now, 3 or 4 a week at 12 hours and holds a second job so there is a good change I will retain at least 1/2 custody. Who knows but even so, it will be over.

I appreciate all the support and replies. This has shed so much light on what I’ve been going through the last few years and answered so many of my confusions. I thought I was insane at times. Women really are the black window. I really am just a “utility” and nothing is changing that. It’s biology. F~~~ this.

[chirParticipant]

Your boys are at an impressionable age.  If she gets custody (likely given judicial climate), she will seek to poison them against you and use them as spy’s to find out if you have money she can raid or a new girlfriend she can harass.   Women have been known to brainwash their own children to accuse their fathers of abuse.   The fact that she has no financial sense means she will use the children as a crowbar to pry as much money out of you as possible.

Being aware of the capability of a vindictive women is the first step to being prepared for the s~~~ sandwiches she will try to feed you.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[Anonymous 13]

For a man to find his unicorn, he must first have a lobotomy.

[bicycledaysParticipant 5]

Just move immediately.

Take what cash you have and move to the Phillipines.

I know of a guy, an acquaintance, who moved there and it changed his life.  He said the girls are pretty and slim.  They run up to him and tell him he is handsome.   He is married now to a Phillipine lady and has 3 or 4 kids.  He lives in a house, a hut, he built with friends and neighbors.  He bought half of a mountain for $700 American money and grows coconuts and coffee, is planning to have chickens and also grow pineapples.  He has a little scooter and not much in the way of expenses.

F++k paying off the debt.  Just leave.

Great websites for guys …

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/

http://www.rooshv.com/

http://www.MGTOW.com

http://www.SolveMyGirlProblems.com

http://www.UnderstandingRelationships.com

http://www.HappierAbroad.com

 

[DurdenParticipant 1051]

Quite a couple of MGTOWs are married who are planning to get out of the hole they dug themselves in. This site is filled with guys looking to help out other men. No matter their current circumstance. If I were you I would start threads about getting advice from divorced men.

 

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything

[BDParticipant 1146]

radtech132 wrote:

I really am just a “utility” and nothing is changing that. It’s biology. F~~~ this.

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story,

In regards to being a utility, I really like Spetsnaz on Youtube, he is worth checking out; Here is a poem from him, it’s light but his other stuff can induce shock and awe, he really brings it all together, you might want to take him in small doses…

Terrence Popp is funny, here’s a sample;

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

Man, I don’t envy you, sounds like hell. Thank you for your input (every story like this is a chance someone will not make a mistake after reading it) and I hope you find this resource/forums helpful or at least supportive.

Welcome !

radtech132 wrote:

I’ve been recording her texts, emails, threats, manipulative and abusive bulls~~~ for 4 months now, recording anything I can, copying financial statements, mortgage records, taxes, remodels, everything.

From what I learned, this is a smart thing to do – evidence. Not long ago I advised my friend to start doing it.

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[Jeremiah JohnsonParticipant 2219]

Hello brother and welcome! You have a lot of really good responses here, and great answers to your questions thus far, but having gone through this insane soul sucking, child losing, heart gashing experience myself, I figured I would add my two cents sir. First of all, take a deep breath man, you certainly earned that! Then, there are a couple of paths you can go down as far as a lawyer is concerned, 1) A ball busting wicked witch woman lawyer, one that is very versed on the entire manipulation process, and is willing to do the same to your wife for the right amount of money. 2) A Men’s right’s lawyer. This is honestly the route I would take if I had it to do over again. I made the ABSOLUTELY TORRID decision to listen to my ex-wife, she said we were adults and didn’t need a lawyer, we could settle this between us, meanwhile as I was so blindly and foolishly going along, her mother bought and paid for the most expensive divorce witch, ball busting lady, and they thoroughly wiped me from the face of the earth.

If you need help finding any of this please let us know, I am very computer and internet savvy, and have time on my hands to help a brother in need, so just drop a line and let us know sir. Thanks for sharing your story, and hang in there, it will get worse before it get’s any better, but knowing this will prepare you for the many battles that lie ahead.

 

Men are at a time when panning for gold in a urinal has a higher probability of success than finding a faithful and loving woman, it is time to go your own way.....

[Author]

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