Home › Forums › Introductions › The story of me
This topic contains 20 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by 
stopmockingman 4 years, 4 months ago.
- AuthorPosts
My name is Dan, I’m a 37 year old Caucasian male living in Canada. My story is one of abuse and neglect, my Dad was an absolutely domineering bastard. He just had to have control over everyone in the household. He was petty beyond imagination, shallow, egocentric, and an absolutely hardcore fundamentalist bible thumping Christian. He beat, and screamed at me as young as the age of three, sometimes for hours on end; over the most trivial things. I could never do anything right, so there never was any point in trying. He literally tried to turn me into his little sociopath.
I realized by the age of five “My Dad is an evil man”.
He was so brazen in his abusiveness as to savagely beat me in public. (This was back when you could still get away with it) Needless to say I came to learn how to…. Behave around his egocentric worldview… Is the best way I can describe it.
All throughout my childhood I had to persevere through round after round of abuse, and neglect. This caused me to turn inward or else end up like him. You see the only way I had of understanding the world around me was through the filter of my childhood experiences. My Dad constantly pounded into me the “lesson” “You are either using others, or they are using you”. It was only deep down inside that I knew there had to be a better way. I could only piece it together over the decades of my life. This meant becoming a quiet, introverted person for the most part.
Overall I find that modern humankind is so filled with self-loathing they are destroying themselves through the playing out of this delusional psychosis called society. Everyone is terrified of the end, because they know what it means; but nobody wants to amend the behavior that’s going to end up guaranteeing their own destruction. So we all spiral round, and round until it all comes crashing down.
On that note at least, for now I guess I’m stuck watching. I am incapable of doing anything constructive on my own, and nobody ever listens to what I have to say. Now I have managed a spurt of extroversion, I “got out there” in my teens, and really started making things happen. The problem is, like I said, nobody wants to amend their behavior. Everyone wants a quick fix solution to their every problem, nobody wants to face the fact that humanity has f~~~ed up; and needs to account for the mess it has f~~~in made. Sigh……
The good news is I am writing a book about my own spiritual journey. It’s mostly written I just need to get it typed out. It’s really gonna make some people laugh. I’ll share bits and pieces of it as I go, but it’s gonna be a while.
I guess that’s all for now.
Welcome to the crew Mr. Rhapsodysparadox. We cant chose our cards but we certainly chose how to play them. I wish you well in your journey.
Welcome, friend and wow, what a story!
One thing I do know, it’s not just about the destination, it’s also about the journey.
What we experience makes us who we are, and shapes the clay of our souls.
Bible says God has made the good and the bad, what He has made crooked, who can straighten?
He has made the one and the other, therefore, who can say what is good for the formation of the spirit?
Of the soul? Hardships build character, a baby becoming a man, and with mileage, becoming something bigger than imagined.
Further, Wise King has said, everything is meaningless- it all turns to dust.
Wisest have tried to discern the meanings of our life, to no avail.
Further wisdom is this- eat, drink, live and love your life, it is a gift, the proof is you live.
Simple enough for me. A Man going his own way, under the watch of the One True King.
We are born alone, we die alone, in the meantime, live and love your life.
I am happy with this wise knowledge, as everyone should be.Welcome sir.
A word of advice, if I may. Many of us here have experienced some level of abuse and almost all have been desilusioned by the overall state of society. But, the way of MGTOW is to find meaning within yourself and ignore/reject outside influence. Pursue that and you will find peace. I am sure many of us here will gladly help by advice and example. So don’t shy away and engage. We are here to support eachother.The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!
Welcome to MGTOW Rhapsodys,
Here you don’t have to worry about society because we all know it is f~~~ed and everybody does their own thing I dunno some may have even written their own book like you’re doing. Just be your very own self don’t worry about the past but if you want to share some of it occasionally when you need some comfort, support and wisdom from the community you can do that at any time.
Again welcome to the crew and I hope to see you around for a long time to come!
Anonymous42@rhapsodysparadox, it sounds like your oldman practiced allot of vengeance, and no forgiveness, I feel sorry for him on judgment day, it appears he’s one of the multitudes that just don’t get it; “forgive to be forgiven”…..
Welcome to the coolest place on earth! Welcome to MGTOW! Glad you joined, your input will add to this library of proper mental rearrangement and restoration!Welcome, friend and wow, what a story!One thing I do know, it’s not just about the destination, it’s also about the journey.What we experience makes us who we are, and shapes the clay of our souls.Bible says God has made the good and the bad, what He has made crooked, who can straighten?He has made the one and the other, therefore, who can say what is good for the formation of the spirit?Of the soul? Hardships build character, a baby becoming a man, and with mileage, becoming something bigger than imagined.Further, Wise King has said, everything is meaningless- it all turns to dust.Wisest have tried to discern the meanings of our life, to no avail.Further wisdom is this- eat, drink, live and love your life, it is a gift, the proof is you live.Simple enough for me. A Man going his own way, under the watch of the One True King.We are born alone, we die alone, in the meantime, live and love your life.I am happy with this wise knowledge, as everyone should be.
The bible says allot of s~~~. Mostly it’s a haphazard collection of misinterpreted allegorical stories assembled by politicians, for politicians; for no other reason but to be used to subjugate the masses. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to tell you what to believe; just don’t push that s~~~ on me. This is my story and “I” will define it however I wish.
One iteration is summarized as follows.
Experience is open to interpretation, life is what we each make of it. Every single one of us are the sole, independent authors of “good”, and “evil”. When you’re crooked, straight looks wrong, when you’re straight, crooked looks wrong; in reality both are moderated by ones choice to be selfish, or selfless in turn.
I apply the lessons gained from my hardships as I see fit, according to my own judgment. Trying to use an external doctrine to make such determinations, still requires for one to interpret them, using ones own thinking and judgment….. So I simply cut out the dogma, as I find truth and falsehood in everything.
You want the meaning of life? Honor the spirit of life to the best of your ability, in all things, in all ways. Nothing more or less. There could be nothing more simple.
All turns to dust…. Oh boo hoo nothings permanent…. Guess what? While the stones of a grand temple may crumble to dust over time, that dust will become the soil upon which grass will grow, A deer eats the grass, defecates on the roots of an apple tree, an apple from that tree is eaten by a man, who later dies, his body gradually decomposing completely into the earth, then one day turns into stone, which is one day quarried to make the walls of a city. The paradox being…. The only permanence is change.
I acknowledge no “One True King” presiding over my soul. The soul is by definition infinite and eternal. That which is infinite will always transcend any bounds placed upon it, that which is eternal will always outlast any state. Nothing may ever intrude upon that which is infinite, and eternal therefore we all must make our own choices, and we all must live with the ensuing results. The only way to freedom is to embrace this realization, and treasure all things on ones path of life.
“I am happy with this wise knowledge, as everyone should be”. Ah yes the hubris of religion. Just because you are happy with that hodgepodge of nonsensical stories that are as I have said, cherry picked from a number of different sources, before they were ever codified into anything resembling the modern day bible, in any of its forms….. Does not mean that we all have to be. Do not push your rhetoric on me.
I listened and heard words.
The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
7 All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
8 All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.stopmockingman – Whatever floats your boat man……
No one cares about you buddy, except me.
The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.2 Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
3 Do not spend your strength[a] on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.
4 It is not for kings, Lemuel—
it is not for kings to drink wine,
not for rulers to crave beer,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
6 Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
7 Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31Furthermore Rhapsodys paradox
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Footnotes:Proverbs 31:3 Or wealth
Proverbs 31:10 Verses 10-31 are an acrostic poem, the verses of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet.
New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.I realized by the age of five “My Dad is an evil man”.
You are a liar. And I have reported you to this forum.
At age five, no one decides a parent is a evil entity. Sorry you are not credible.
Anonymous5Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.WOW, you’re describing a unicorn!
And it’s from some religious text,,,,so it must be true!!!
This is the greatest load of s~~~ I’ve ever seen on this site. Well done.
You trumped that insult with your next post by calling someone a liar in their introduction.
It takes b~~~~ to drop your guard and speak openly about yourself. They don’t need to be insulted and shamed for doing it.Yes, it’s obvious that insulting my opinions is cool, but telling paradox man that dishonoring Dad is ok.
Five, you know what, now you are older go to work.
I am describing a passage of scripture, how even olden times had MGTOW ways.
Know what? Go get a clue.Forgot to say, who bore your tiny little asses, WOMEN.
My God, what am I doing here, with fools.
I generally hate C~~~S (used as a term of disparagement for females and males). Just saying.Absolutely domineering bastard. He beat, and screamed at me as young as the age of three, sometimes for hours on end; over the most trivial things. I could never do anything right, so there never was any point in trying. He literally tried to turn me into his little sociopath.
Man o man, what a terrific memory!
Furthermore, Welcome, friend and wow, what a story! Sounding less believable as we go! Because this is a man site, for men.
SOUNDS LIKE MAN HATING TO ME.stopmockingman – Just because I don’t swallow that rancid tripe in your original post, and instead provide my own mission statement for life’s propose; you behave as I have leveled a personal attack against you, “Yes, it’s obvious that insulting my opinions is cool”, and go on a rant calling me a liar and man hater. That’s an impressive inferiority complex you have there bub.
I tell you what, my story gets better; my Dad actually attacked me one day with such a total arbitrary, tenacious, belligerence that he made me feel that my very life was in danger. My survival instincts kicked in, so much adrenaline hit my blood that I could overpower and drive into him as he crouched over me, I pushed him back across the kitchen with such irresistible force that I slammed him into the ground floor cupboards across the room. I could have killed him with my bare hands, if he were not blubbering so pathetically. His world was shattered, he was not the unstoppable ogre he believed himself to be.
Not even that was enough to give him a wakeup call. In the following months he instead insisted on testing my limits, and finding out exactly how far he could push me. He was doggedly determined to enforce his will, no matter the evidence that he was a heartless bastard for it.
“telling paradox man that dishonoring Dad…..” If you can’t handle the truth you can kindly f~~~ off, I never asked for your goddamn scripture….
You think that if your Dad had attacked, beaten, yelled at, and scolded you night and day, even stooping so low as to blame you for things that could not possibly have been your fault, making a mess behind your back then blaming it on you and using it as an excuse to terrorize you for hours; you wouldn’t start thinking he’s an evil bastard? The realization came from church, and Sunday school stories about “evil men”. Think about it…. You learn stories about what evil men do + your Dad behaves like them with reckless abandon = hhhhhmmmmmm…. maybe, just maybe….. he is one of them….?
Perhaps you live in a bubble where parents never abuse their children; and the sky is filled with cotton candy rainbows, everybody smiles while walking along their daily routine without a care in the world, and clouds rain delicious gumdrops that never make you fat, provide perfect nourishment, and always taste like your favorite food…..
Well I live in the real world, and here stupid s~~~ not only happens, it’s the norm. In fact it’s surprising when stupid s~~~ does not happen.
Do me a favor will ya? Go back to your delusional fantasy world…. and leave me alone ok?
Anonymous0Greetings Rhapsody,
Your childhood experience mirrored mine on multiple levels. My dad, like yours, was a maniacal religious fanatic. He used religious scripture to justify his abusive and narcissistic behavior. While I did not recognize my dad as ‘evil’ as early as you did, I certainly tried to stay the hell away from him. Unfortunately, my family dynamics had long-lasting negative consequences for future interpersonal relationships. Notably, I developed an inordinately positive interpretation of women while fearing and detesting most men, especially those in authority. Unfortunately, as children we are highly gullible. We are blameless when we internalize their nutty ideas and develop irrational and self-defeating beliefs about the external world. However, as adults with developed brains, we no longer have to become eternal prisoners of our parents wrongheaded ideas and immoral behaviors. We can use reason and re-evaluate what happened to us in the past.
It should be noted that neither men nor women have a monopoly on good behavior (regardless of the feminist narrative and media portrays of women as self-sacrificing, all-caring, nurturing, and benevolent angels). Your introduction struck me because you seemed to give women a free pass. While you were subjected to the heavy-handed abuse of your father, did the women in your life (i.e. mother, sister, aunts, teachers, neighbors, etc.) sit by idly and do nothing? In my family of origin, my mom was inconsistent in protecting me from my father. As an adult, I confronted her and she became extremely defensive and distraught. We have become accustomed to demonizing fathers (who sometimes deserve scorn) while casting women as innocent victims. I would be interested if you would expand more on your history and consider the role of the women in your childhood abuse and functioning as an adult. You may arrive at some surprising insights and heal more completely.
Thanks, one eye
Anonymous0Greetings Stopmockingman,
I wanted to take a moment and thank you for the kind reply to my post. Also, thank you for posting those biblical passages and reminding the readers of the male wisdom found within the Bible. On a somewhat frequent basis, I read through Proverbs and other chapters of the Bible, looking for peace, wisdom, and inspiration. A younger version of my adult self was highly antagonistic of the Bible. However, it is truly sad and unfortunate when we let black-or-white dichotomous thinking cloud our judgment. One does not have to be a devout Christian to extract benefit from the Bible or other important literary works.
- AuthorPosts
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
921526
921524
919244
916783
915526
915524
915354
915129
914037
909862
908811
908810
908500
908465
908464
908300
907963
907895
907477
902002
901301
901106
901105
901104
901024
901017
900393
900392
900391
900390
899038
898980
896844
896798
896797
895983
895850
895848
893740
893036
891671
891670
891336
891017
890865
889894
889741
889058
888157
887960
887768
886321
886306
885519
884948
883951
881340
881339
880491
878671
878351
877678
