The husband store

[Bestieboy666Participant 2358]

I just come across this in a comments section on youtube. I thought it was funny and oh so true.
Credit to MFlorian

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband…

On each floor the signs on the doors read:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs.

Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.

Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign
reads:

Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor
exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

THE WIFE STORE

Floor 1 – has wives that love sex.

Floor 2 – has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

And a few more……

My wife is a sex object – every time I ask for sex, she objects.
I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he’s already met my wife.
I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I’d poison your tea!’ And if you were my wife, I would drink it.
I don’t think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

Women are so bad, if they changed the law so I kept the house, I still wouldn't marry one. I'd rather be homeless.

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

Good one!

[EskimospyParticipant 841]

My wife drive me all the way to drink and I never wrote back to thank her.

[Anonymous 8]

Bestieboy666 wrote:

My wife is a sex object – every time I ask for sex, she objects.
I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he’s already met my wife.
I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I’d poison your tea!’ And if you were my wife, I would drink it.
I don’t think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

Hilarious!

Some of those remind me of good ole Rodney Dangerfield, I don’t get no respect I tell ya.

[ConstantineParticipant 4420]

Thanks for the laugh.

Is Google male or female?
Female, because it won’t let you finish a sentence before offering a suggestion.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just leave it there and accuse it of rape.

To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle. -Orwell

[Big BossParticipant 4496]

I’d wait till I hit floor 5 probably. I’m really skeptical about having a wife in general. If it doesn’t come with seriously incentive, I seriously rather f~~~ing not.

[Author]

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