The Consolation Prize: We Can Still Be Friends

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

I never liked the phrase, “We can still be friends.” It sounds insulting. If a woman no longer wants to date me or have sex with me, her friendship is no consolation prize. I don’t want some ex-girlfriend/ex-lover to call me and tell me about her new boyfriend and all the fun times she’s having without me. I don’t understand why women think it’s okay to torture a man’s mind that way. In my world, if you’re going to leave me, just leave. Don’t prolong my sadness by reminding me of what I no longer have: intimate companionship and glorious moments of sexual ecstasy.

Imagine if someone gave you a sports car with these conditions: it doesn’t have an engine, you can’t install an engine, and you can never sell it. How would you respond? “Uh…thank you, I guess.” You can admire it all day long, you can sit inside and put your hands on the steering wheel, but you can never drive it anywhere. That’s what being “just friends” with a desirable woman is like for me.

Suppose I called an ex-girlfriend/lover—who didn’t want our relationship to end—and said:

“You know what? I’m glad we broke up because I met this amazing woman. She’s an aspiring model. She goes to the gym 5 days a week. She looks really sexy in a bikini. I took her to the beach the other day, and we had so much fun! If we were still dating right now, I would’ve never asked this woman out because I wouldn’t want to cheat on you. It’s great that we’re just friends now.”

How do you think she’d feel?

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[ghostParticipant]

F~~~ that.

[Anonymous 2]

In case she needs a shoulder to cry on. Poor snowflakes! I second Gambit-f~~~ that! They like to brag for validation and to see if she can monkeybranch back for some more fun at your expense from one upping the new guy!

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Yup. She wants to downgrade you to orbiter status so she can go bang Chad for a while. Then she’ll realize you were the right one all along, and you’ll take her back and live happily ever after. Just like every rom-com ever.

I’ve been offered that deal before. My response: “I never wanted to be your friend. And I don’t now. It’s an all or nothing deal with me. If we split up, you’ll never hear from me or speak to me again.” That was before I heard the phrase One Chance, Per Person, Per Lifetime, NO Exceptions.

Then a funny thing happened. I thought maybe I was being too harsh. Maybe I shouldn’t be such a dick. Maybe I should be a little more forgiving. So I gave someone a second chance.

Twenty years and a million dollars or so wasted later, let’s just say I had it right the first time.

I have all the friends I need. There’s no open position for another friend. But apparently someone just gave notice for the girlfriend position………..

Order the good wine

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I got an even worse one once – years after she married her perfect cuck.
“Hoping we can be friends on facebook“

MMMMMnnnnnno.

Facebook is for women and gays, thankyouverymuch.

FunInTheSun wrote:

“We can still be friends.”

Who is she kidding? No women believes that. They need to hate and bash every ex because women can’t live with themselves knowing she made a bad choice and a big mistake. That’s why every ex is an asshole, douche, dick, jerk, player etc.

No woman gives a positive review and thinks “He’s right. I was a total bitch. I don’t deserve him. I f~~~ed up. There goes a great guy.”

So instead, it’s “I hate you, but we can still be friends”.

Seems legit.

TaxGuy wrote:

Yup. She wants to downgrade you to orbiter status

Damn right.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

FunInTheSun wrote:

I never liked the phrase, “We can still be friends.” It sounds insulting.

This means if chad doesn’t work out, I left my foot wedged in the door to let myself back in.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[IRuleMeParticipant]

“We can still be friends” is code for “I’m using you as an emotional tampon”.

[narwhalParticipant]

I think a lot of women say that to be polite, not really meaning anything other then they have no animosity too you personally. Which is really stupid because men aren’t stupid enough to think that takes the sting out of rejection…if they even bothered to feel rejection.

It assumes that the guy was nuts about her, which was most likely all in her head.

I’m sure there are some that are hoping to keep you at orbiter status, but I think they’d mostly just rather you went away.

Ok. Then do it.

[joetechParticipant]

A woman wants to stay friends because she might want something from you in the future. I’m not in touch with ANY of my exes. They’re exes for a reason. The past is gone, and so am I as far as the exes are concerned.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[TaxGuyParticipant]

narwhal wrote:

I’m sure there are some that are hoping to keep you at orbiter status, but I think they’d mostly just rather you went away.

I think it depends more on the woman than the men. My ex was still in contact with her old boyfriends. I wasn’t in contact with any old girlfriends. She would talk to “Todd” for 2 hours and then come debrief me on the conversation. You know, so I didn’t get jealous. Of course, Todd hold her how great she was and how he should have married her. But that wasn’t meant to make me jealous or keep me in line. She just didn’t want to have any secrets between us.

So, it could be that she’s just trying to take the sting out. It could be that she wants you as a Justin Case. It could be that just wants to keep guys around that will feed her ego. Or it could be that she’s using the “just friendship” to annoy the f~~~ out of the poor bastard she’s with now. The great part is that it doesn’t matter why she said it. The answer is no in any scenario.

Order the good wine

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

If she wanted to be with you, she would…
Move on, and never look back.
The next poor bastard can deal with her bulls~~~…

[BigvernParticipant 1983]

FunInTheSun wrote:

“We can still be friends.” It sounds insulting. If a woman no longer wants to date me or have sex with me, her friendship is no consolation prize.

Also Known As……”Now that I won’t f~~~ you any more, would you PLEEEAAASSEE, join the other Beta Orbiters, in my Friend Zone?”

"What made you think, there'd be a livin' in sheep?, Eat, Work, Eat Work and Sleep" - Mark Knopfler.

[ghostParticipant]

TaxGuy wrote:

She wants to downgrade you to orbiter status

NEVER accept orbiter status. F~~~ that.

[ghostParticipant]

TaxGuy wrote:

She would talk to “Todd” for 2 hours and then come debrief me on the conversation.

I hate these blue pill c~~~ suckers (Todd).

[KolaxisParticipant 668]

The only consolation prize you need is a free turkey leg at the Renaissance Festival. Anything else is a waste of time.

Jackie: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.

[surfdude12Participant 4103]

We can never be friends with our ex’s

“Hey person I USED TO BANG, let me tell you about the new person I WANNA BANG”!!!!!

[surfdude12Participant 4103]

[AttonParticipant]

Tell her to drink gasoline.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

When she says, “We can still be friends,” what she actually means is, “You can still do things for me and buy me s~~~. But don’t expect anything in return.”

She’s asking you to be “friends” without benefits. But if there’s no benefit for you, why be friends?

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

XSDBS wrote:

If she wanted to be with you, she would…

That is so true. I felt like a fool many times when I dated women and they didn’t really like me no matter how hard I tried to impress them or entertain them. One lovely young lady got married a few months after I gave up and stopped dating her. It makes me wonder if she was just going out with me for the heck of it while she was in love with this fiance guy.

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[Author]

Posts