Hello men; having just come back from a walk in which I by mistake walked past my ex/child’s mother with whom has a restraining order on me issued through the local family court. Mind you we both live in a downtown area and quit frankly.. she looked like a boy in his 20s and not like a 30 something year old woman!
So instead of freaking out I have decided to do something useful with this emotion of fear and pretend that writing this topic on a forum will help some men dealing with similar life circumstances and also to entertain the idea that other men may add advice (or better yet add wisdom that subtracts from “vices” for we could all be alot better off less vice) and therefore use my emotions and situation in a more practical way than spiraling downward into the emotions, which is bottomless, and largely unhelpful.
So lets rationalize the situation,take action &/or mentally prepare for any likely uncomfortablilities that may arise.
In this particular life situation I have a woman that has attached herself to me via a child, utilizing a corrupt court system and because I live in the same area there is a potential of being at the same place at time and said’ woman accusing me of a violation.
So if you live in the same town this is a double edged sword, but does work in your favor for any accusations of you “being in the area” is obviously ridiculous, quit frankly you live there!
Keep calm, if you can, stop and walk the other way.
If you are past the point of turning around, do not make eye contact and act like you have not noticed the person for this might instigate the woman to use that against you.
And for the men who have never experienced a restraining order;
Can you imagine? not only do you have no desire to ever interact with this person again, and having been careful and having successfully avoided this person for much time.. you by chance walked on the same street and she spotted you first! Oh the horror! (Ridiculous)
But this is a very dangerous occurrence and should not be taken lightly.
If the police are called remain calm, judge how little you can say to explain the situation
*example; in my situation they show up at my house, I automatically explain that I have a false restraining order, that I live right downtown, if I was “spotted” here than that’s obvious, and that no I did not see her and even if I did not have a restraining order I’d avoid her all the same. Then I tell them to run her name.. : ) even though she does not have a record, they have arrested her for domestic abuse in the past *this is an important tactic* They then advise me to “stay away” then I go on with my life until she blames me for the weather; )
This is my situation, but in general if the police show up there are some guidelines;
Keep your f~~~ing mouth shut, say as little as possible in a calm manner to understand what your actually being accused of and if your being charged, ask for a lawyer, as you wait for your lawyer brain storm about your defense. And continue to keep calm and shut your mouth. Understand that in some cases u can be held up to 6 to 8 months if u plead not guilty, u will need to mentally prepare yourself before during this temporary incarceration, make sure that apart of you defense should be that of wrongfully imprisonment with no due process. But then again, this is how the court system functions. Ask the Judge who pays his salary? Who pays the prosecutors salary? part of their $ comes from “we the people” and it’s *blatant hypocrisy/corruption for a man to pay the salaries of his own accusers!*
Realize this “story” that I told you and the emotions that came up are irrelevant.
Emotions are a natural response to external stimuli and emotions in themselves are not helpful. What we do with them is what counts.
Make sure to rationalize the situation, if in immediate danger act on reflex and if not use tact to take yourself out of or avoid the situation. Understand that fear is useful.
If we didn’t have fear we would walk off cliffs but to much fear will turn a man to paranoia.
A restraining order of having lost custody (have your child(ren) stolen from you may cause sever self worth issues. You must remember that life’s traumas are meaningless, all of us men have gone through hardships and there will always be a man with a worse tale than ur own so what’s more important is what we do with these experiences.
These experiences make us stronger.
So remember, it’s not what life throws at you, or the emotional content that naturally arises from the external stimuli that happens to us all, it’s what you do with it that counts. Being caught up in fear or the most subtler feelings of not being good enough can lead a man to apathy and laziness. Instead do something! and help others even if helping others starts with you helping yourself.
How about you guys?
Any thoughts as to the human condition and how to better properly deal with emotional content? Especially in the context of a man being cornered by a woman using society and or the government?
Blue Skies 3 years, 5 months ago.
