Supporting Family

[ArcturisParticipant 2819]

Hoping to get a bit of advice.

My dad is rich. He’s done well, never has to worry about money, does what he wants, lives the dream.
My mum & sister (different dad) are basically homeless & jobless and look to me to provide. (currently couch surfing the last 2 years)

I’m often at a crossroads between building my own life and wealth AND helping them.

At the moment I CANT DO BOTH. But I’m literally all they have. Anything spare I give to them and it’s weighing me down. Over the past 2 years I’ve given them thousands £££ and my financial situation hasn’t improved.

In fact, I’ve gone further into debt to protect them but it’s getting to a point where it needs to stop.

I’m not spending on a GF anymore but I’m being drained much the same.

Any advice much appreciated.

Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUT

[AwakenedParticipant 35200]

WHY can’t your mother and sister work, or work enough to be self-sufficient ?

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[narwhalParticipant]

Not sure what the governments welfare is like in your country, but I would push them in that direction.

Alternatively, give them a deadline to get their s~~~ together. The funds cut off in 6 weeks. Get a job. Get off drugs. Whatever needs to change. If they physically can’t work, then again, it should be the State’s responsibility to take care of them, not you.

Be prepared for them to call you all sorts of nasty things, maybe even steal from you or damage your property. That is a clear sign that you are definitely making the right decision. They will claim that you aren’t caring for them the way you should, but they cannot be happy in their current state. As well, it is clearly selfish of them to drag you down to the bottom with them.

Ok. Then do it.

[Anonymous 0]

Okay, a few things to consider.

What are they doing to improve their lot?
Are they attending school to gain worthwhile skills?
Are they taking responsibility for themselves?
Are you just their de facto husbank?
What would happen if you suddenly fell ill?

Maybe let them know that you have to start looking after yourself now.

[joetechParticipant]

Too much kindness will kill anyone. As long as they know you’re always there, where’s the motivation to dig out of the hole? You need to cut them loose. Family can be the worst, and when it comes to money most people get crazy.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[ArcturisParticipant 2819]

Mother suffers depression…As she tells me, I’ll never understand what that’s like so I don’t know if she’s able to work or not.

Part of the problem claiming welfare is she has no fixed address. A few months, here, a few months there.

My sister is doing a little better. Shes only 18 bless her, but I’ve got her some state housing now. She has a little job in a phone store but she’s struggling so I help where I can.

To be honest, Mum’s being a bit entitled with the work she’s willing / not willing to take. I’ve told her to grab anything she can get, but she doesn’t see it that way.

“Im 55 years old, worked all my life, I shouldn’t be doing that blah blah”

Then I get a txt – “Can you spare £50-100 please. I’m starving, no money for toiletries etc etc”

Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUT

[RhinoParticipant 3477]

If your mother is mentally incapable to function in society she should be seeking medical attention for her condition. If it is severe enough she can go on disability. You can’t help someone if they are unwilling to help themselves and she is a parasite that will continue to feed off you financially and spiritually so long as you enable her to do so.

This is what I would do if I was in your position. Ask her to seek medical help for her depression if she refuses you cut all ties with her. She will draw this process out for a very long time and it could take up to a year for her to get on disability which is a hard process to prove if you are mentally ill.

While you are going through this process you get her to go on welfare. The no fixed address thing can be resolved there are a number of ways to do this. Ask your local welfare office how a homeless person can go on welfare if someone has no fixed address.

Start with this link here.

Finally you can use your address if worse comes to worse to get her on welfare that is a last resort even though she may not be living with you just to get the process started. If she refuses to do any of these steps do not hesitate under any circumstances to cut her off and move on with your life. As for your sister start her on a budget and have her stick to it and she refuses to do that you let her know you will be cutting her out as well. If her income is low enough she should be on welfare as well people who work still can get welfare if their income is low enough look into that as well.

Notice how you as the man has to fix their problems they will not do it for themselves but if you don’t get the ball rolling they will not do it period. If they still refuse once you start this process kick them both to the curb and live your life. The goal of this entire process is to get you free from their parasitic ways you must cut them out of your life regardless of the outcome. If they stand on their own feet or not you still cut them out whatever the outcome is.

Edit: I noticed you might be in the U.K if that is the case you have to use a fixed address and have her get a bank account where they can deposit checks. You will have to use either your sisters address or your address to get the process started while you apply for housing for your mother as well. Once your mother gets housing change her address to the new one and you should be free of her.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22510]

Arcturis wrote:

Hoping to get a bit of advice.

My dad is rich. He’s done well, never has to worry about money, does what he wants, lives the dream.
My mum & sister (different dad) are basically homeless & jobless and look to me to provide. (currently couch surfing the last 2 years)

I’m often at a crossroads between building my own life and wealth AND helping them.

At the moment I CANT DO BOTH. But I’m literally all they have. Anything spare I give to them and it’s weighing me down. Over the past 2 years I’ve given them thousands £££ and my financial situation hasn’t improved.

In fact, I’ve gone further into debt to protect them but it’s getting to a point where it needs to stop.

I’m not spending on a GF anymore but I’m being drained much the same.

Any advice much appreciated.

You are their husbands. You have to get out of this role, its not fair or right they expect you to be provider for them, you can’t have your own life because of this. They know this, they are women. They know exactly what is going on and what they are doing to you. They do. They hope you do not figure out what they are doing is wrong because they know its wrong, but will get angry at you for telling them the truth they already know.

You are in a financially and emotionally incestuous relationship with your mom and sister. You are their husbank and their emotional tampons. And they love this because they don’t have to f~~~ you or really do much of anything, who are you to boss them around? You aren’t her husband, you aren’t her boyfriend, you can’t tell them to do anything. Right?

They know they are totally using you and doing nothing to help. They know this. Its why they are there and doing nothing while you slave away for them. It is an incredibly sweet deal for them because as “family” that’s their cover excuse for everything, one they believe you cannot object to.

Either they start working and adding something to “the family” or you are done. And follow through with it, do not give them another chance, do not do it, they will know you cave and the next time you will cave again. if you cave this time you will again. Yes you will. You will.

I assume the place is in your name, if they dont help support themselves, if they don’t give a s~~~ enough to do something for their own self-interest, if they don’t give a crap about themselves to do something, for themselves, find another place and move out, sever the current rental lease, and they are on their own. Do not tell them where you move to, do not tell the former landlord your new address as they will get it from her/him. Change phones, dont give new number, don’t tell work the new address unless they will not give out to anyone including family, get rd of all internet connections.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Anonymous 0]

Anyway you look at this, YOU are going to have to say NO to them. There a nothing here that 500 miles of blacktop won’t fix.

[ArcturisParticipant 2819]

Rhino wrote:

Notice how you as the man has to fix their problems they will not do it for themselves but if you don’t get the ball rolling they will not do it period.

Thanks for your comments Rhino – Yes, i’m in the UK, but much of it still relates. I’ve had a long conversation with her this evening and maybe told some hard truths, but it’s a start.

I’ve been pushing and pushing for welfare for over a year, but think it’s time I put my foot down. As mentioned, her health should also entitle her to more so I’ll set some appointments up for her. If she’s not willing to help herself, why should I…

It’s a difficult one because I suppose family makes you blind…but at the end of the day i’m still being used.

I also like the allowance idea for my sister. Her circumstances are no fault of her own so this could teach her some responsibility.

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

You are their husbands. You have to get out of this role, its not fair or right they expect you to be provider for them, you can’t have your own life because of this.

Thanks for this too mate. I’ve never looked at it this way before but you’re absolutely right. I feel compelled to look after them because I’m all they have, but it’s not a healthy relationship.

Truth be told, there’s great genes in my family but my mums hit the wall. I’m probably her last chance at a beta provider. As her son, I want to give her the best / what i can…but it shouldn’t be at the detriment to my own life.

She’s made her choices. I need to make mine.

Appreciate everyones comments given such a sensitive topic, thank you.

Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUT

[BeerParticipant 11832]

Personally I don’t mind giving people a helping hand that are actively trying to help themselves…but with that being said I have plenty of family that if they ever came to me asking for financial help I’d shoot them down in an instant because the idea of helping someone that doesn’t want to help them self is ridiculously dumb.

How do you feel about your mom and sister? Are they trying to help themselves, or are they just taking advantage of your generosity. If I were you, the way I answered that question would determine if I continued to help them out or not.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22510]

Arcturis wrote:

Rhino wrote:

Notice how you as the man has to fix their problems they will not do it for themselves but if you don’t get the ball rolling they will not do it period.

Thanks for your comments Rhino – Yes, i’m in the UK, but much of it still relates. I’ve had a long conversation with her this evening and maybe told some hard truths, but it’s a start.

I’ve been pushing and pushing for welfare for over a year, but think it’s time I put my foot down. As mentioned, her health should also entitle her to more so I’ll set some appointments up for her. If she’s not willing to help herself, why should I…

It’s a difficult one because I suppose family makes you blind…but at the end of the day i’m still being used.

I also like the allowance idea for my sister. Her circumstances are no fault of her own so this could teach her some responsibility.

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

You are their husbands. You have to get out of this role, its not fair or right they expect you to be provider for them, you can’t have your own life because of this.

Thanks for this too mate. I’ve never looked at it this way before but you’re absolutely right. I feel compelled to look after them because I’m all they have, but it’s not a healthy relationship.

Truth be told, there’s great genes in my family but my mums hit the wall. I’m probably her last chance at a beta provider. As her son, I want to give her the best / what i can…but it shouldn’t be at the detriment to my own life.

She’s made her choices. I need to make mine.

Appreciate everyones comments given such a sensitive topic, thank you.

Well, we wish you the best and definitely keep us updated on how it’s going, or if you decide you need to talk about something that crops up.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

I know your mum and sister have some kind of skill that can make a salable item. Ebay, esty, craigslist just to name a few. Always a few little jobs on craigs that pay cash, your sister can do.
As far as you mum goes, I would tell her that you are now in debt. The meal ticket needs help.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[LionOnTheLooseParticipant 1315]

Arcturis mate, I know this stuff came up on the other thread a bit yesterday and I hadn’t seen this actual thread. I agree 100% with everything Rhino and Secret Agent say. And I reiterate what I said last night on the other thread: you now need to apply your red pill thinking to these women as well as your ex. It is much harder with women in our families compared to girlfriends, but you need to look after yourself. I’m sorry to say this and I mean no disrespect to you, brother, but your mother sounds toxic. I’ve been there too (in a rather different way). What I can say is that sometimes it takes a really strong move on your part to define the boundaries. In my case, it involved “going nuclear” and cutting my entire family off for over a year. Then I started again with them and they respected the boundaries I had drawn. But you have to be tough and be prepared to “go nuclear” if they don’t respect what you’re trying to do.

I would follow Rhino’s step plan. Smart man, that Rhino! 😀

There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.

[ArcturisParticipant 2819]

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

It is much harder with women in our families compared to girlfriends, but you need to look after yourself. I’m sorry to say this and I mean no disrespect to you, brother, but your mother sounds toxic.

Thanks mate, I appreciate this. You’re right, it is a difficult one.

The thing is… I count on you guys to give me the truth and that’s always what we need to hear.

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

you now need to apply your red pill thinking to these women as well as your ex

Yes Sir, working on it 😀

Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUT

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