Struggles of a Young MGTOW

[BushidoParticipant 637]

Gentlemen, a pleasure as always. I could use your advice.

As stated long ago in my introduction, I’m a MGTOW in my early 20s – that is to say my experiences with women are limited compared to some of the other brothers here. Being in the military also offers me a unique looking-glass into the outside world that allows me to enjoy a more objective view – particularly one leading me to MGTOW.

As a young Man it is difficult in times dealing with my blue pill mindset being tamed by a Red Pill reality. Let me explain. When I initially became a MGTOW, the idea of associating with a woman was heresy. Over time, my anger subsided to calm understanding and I could feel my mind slip away from time to time with my biological desire to have kids. It hurts. Fortunately my logic kept this primal instinct in check – but not without friction.

I struggle primarily between my intense desire to have children of my own and my knowledge of the hoops of fire and traps of steel that come with getting so close to a woman. I wonder absentmindedly from time to time if a surrogate would be a wise idea, perhaps even an egg donation of some sort though at the cost of more limited selections.

Suffice to say, living today is like living a war – not every day holds a battle, but there is always tension between my blue pill past and my Red Pill future. The war of the mind is especially difficult in such a young mind, particularly where the brain still hasn’t completely developed and where inexperience and false thoughts of invincibility run rampant.

Brothers of experience, I seek your wisdom.

What is the best way to have children of my own?
What is the best way for a young MGTOW to win a war of the mind?

It is my hope that the answers we find here may give us more insight in saving the young – let us not only save their lives, but their years!

Logic guides your actions, emotion guides your morals. Only you may decide how you use them.

[Anonymous 6]

Greetings. You mentioned that you are in your early 20’s. That’s the absolute craziest time for “physical” stuff. Your control of it cannot depend on thinking alone. Find a hobby that requires physical exertion. You mentioned being a GI, earning and maintaining a 300 PFT would be an example. Also sport shooting would be another, it may be called target something or other. Just saying you probably know your way around a rifle (assuming that you’re not in the US Navy) The physical stuff subsides with age. It does with everyone and it becomes easier. By the way I was a GI once many years ago. My experience says for you to stay far, far, far away from any of the women who are on or hang around the post both military and civilian.

About kids. Any type of kid stuff is going to bring drama and costs not worth your time. Nothing that you can come up with will work out in your favor, hell it won’t even be fair for you. This may be distressing for you to hear, but in my experience, no man is ever in any type of a good or even decent position when it comes to children. Just be happy without children.

Take the above for what it’s worth, my opinion based upon my life experience.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Bushido wrote:

What is the best way for a young MGTOW to win a war of the mind?

Brother,

We are here to help you, as always, like you have helped others. The best way to “win a war of the mind” is to not go into analysis paralysis mode, where you start thinking too much and trying to decipher what it all means. This will only add fuel to the fire. I am aware that you may be struggling with the “what is the meaning/purpose of life?”. Just observe your thoughts rising and falling and try not to let those thoughts define who you are. Just like Travis3000 mentioned, find a passion that you can fully immerse yourself in.

I know it is difficult, but please try some mindfulness meditation, as shown in the video below:

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Bushido wrote:

What is the best way to have children of my own?

You can’t. At best the state might allow you to temporarily play the role of father figure to the state’s child, and even then you will have the child welfare agency’s sword of f~~~ing damocles constantly hanging over your head.

Men don’t gt to have children any more. All men get these days is the bill.

[IntellectualSaviorParticipant 1238]

I feel you brother, I’m 20 myself and I love kids and I also would like to raise one, I also think about adopting a child as a single father in the future, I don’t know if it will work out or not but for now that’s how I think. I have 3 nephews and 1 niece and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them in this world. It’s a f~~~ed up society man, I really feel you on this one.

When I have a pen in my hands, it's lethal.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Children are WAY too valuable for you to ever be allowed to actually have one of your own. Any child you father will belong to the mother. If you are useful slave who provides well and does what he’s told without much trouble, you might get to see the kid occasionally when his real owner needs a break from the responsibility. You will most definitely get stuck with the bill. And if you are in the military, your income is the easiest and most reliable of all resource targets. If you don’t already know what a ‘dependapotomus’ is, go and ask a few of your more experienced brothers in arms and have them explain it to you.

Donate to a sperm bank and you’ll know that you have a kid or two somewhere out there. But you probably won’t get family court raped as a result. With any luck, after he grows up, your kid may find out he was fathered by a sperm bank and come looking for you. If he succeeds in finding you, you and he can go and have a beer together and he can tell you all about the childhood you didn’t have to pay for ( this assumes you use your real name when you sign in at the sperm bank…:-) )

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

IntellectualSavior wrote:

adopting a child as a single father in the future

I salute you brother. That is a very noble act of loving kindness. Helping a child who needs a home.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[Anonymous 6]

I’m a young MGTOW myself and I still struggle with this same question. I plan on being a business owner later, and It would make no sense to have a bunch of businesses and then not be able to hand them down to someone. I want to have a legacy, but this possibility is becoming increasingly difficult. I’m not about to just settle for some chick just because somebody else thinks it’s a good idea. The last thing I ever want to do is hand over half of my assets to some woman, or be forced to not be involved in my kids life.

That US Census Report in 2020 is going to tell me everything that I need to know. Doesn’t the Bible say that You should never again submit yourself unto the yolk of slavery?? If you tell people you don’t want to be married, they say “Ohh he just wants his freedom”, so that tells me that marriage is the lack of freedom, and the lack of freedom is slavery!!!

I just don’t get it,

[SandalsParticipant 4253]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

I know it is difficult, but please try some mindfulness meditation, as shown in the video below

I wonder if Eckhart Tolle knows he is a MGTOW GOD. I wonder what he would think of that.

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

I salute you brother. That is a very noble act of loving kindness. Helping a child who needs a home.

MGTOW_Mike, I really love your posts. But here I must respectfully disagree. Adopting a child is playing with fire. Once the child is yours, if the child comes from bad genes (and most probably does), you are in for a worse ride than marriage. Marriage you can get out of. Adoption you Can’t. I have heard some bad adoption stories. Start with an abused dog from the kennel and if that goes well, then adopt.

Just my two cents. It’s Bushido’s choice.

By the way, Bushido, if you want to have children, work at a child nursery first for one year. That should clear things up for you.

[CG27Participant 302]

Anonymous wrote:

I plan on being a business owner later, and It would make no sense to have a bunch of businesses and then not be able to hand them down to someone. I want to have a legacy, but this possibility is becoming increasingly difficult.

I can unfortunately 100% relate to this

The single biggest threat to your happiness is women and the only way to win is to not play the game

[AntipathyParticipant 4901]

Bushido wrote:

What is the best way for a young MGTOW to win a war of the mind?

For winning the war inside the mind. I’m 29 now, and in my early 20’s, i also struggled with this, and i still do. i think sometimes we forget that we’re more complex than we’d like to think. it’s a struggle because part of us doesn’t want to feel 100% alone, we want companionship, touch, love, empathy, support etc … while at the same time, knowing we’ll never get it back, and if we do it’ll be faked for external motives, or be a “limited time only” deal, shortly before it all goes to hell.

All i can tell you is talk to guys, test the waters a bit, most aren’t worth your time because they are blue-pill superficial, but a few aren’t. Find something mind numbing to watch, listen to music, find a subject or hobby to submerse yourself with. i would avoid talking to girls much, because all it does is wind your biological desires up, and f~~~s with you psychologically.

[AkanbiParticipant 2120]

I’m in my early twenties too.

One major difference (as regards the central point of this topic) is that in the part of the world where I live, the laws are not as harsh on men as they are in the west.

I also still have a desire to have a child(ren) of my own. Marriage is definitely NOT an option for me.

For now, the only two options I can think of choosing from are:

– IVF collabo with a young female with good genes (after we’ve reached a written and signed agreement) and give her appropriate settlement.

OR

– surrogacy (if I can afford it).

I’m not saying that I’ve made up my mind.

Having child(ren) is not even on my to-do list for the near future.

Maybe after more experiences in life, I might have a change of mind.

*

@bushido
I think you should listen to the contributions of the experienced Men who live in the same geographical setting and area of jurisdiction as you.

My brother make you no follow sheeple o. Look them and Go Your Way.

[WPLParticipant 2390]

This isn’t really advice, but more of an observation: I used to think that I wanted children “someday”. I like kids, and I’ve donated time and resources to help introduce kids to engineering and science. However, as I’ve grown older, my interest in having children of my own has largely waned. It’s not that I feel too old to “keep up” with a child; it’s more that having kids seems like something that people often do to “prove something” to the world, and I’ve lost interest in proving anything to anybody. I don’t know.

[Anonymous 12]

step back and invert the questions in their order.

first you win the battle of the mind.
Then the desire for children goes away automatically as a direct consequence of the first.

[RhinoParticipant 3477]

Some men talking about this subject in previous posts suggested surrogacy as an option. You would have to find the right female to provide eggs or have the surrogate herself use her own eggs. I don’t know anything about it you would have to do the research on it but it is another option you can use to have children if adoption is not something you want.

[BushidoParticipant 637]

Gents, thank you for your contributions.

I’d like to touch upon some of the input you guys have offered.

Anonymous wrote:

My experience says for you to stay far, far, far away from any of the women who are on or hang around the post both military and civilian.

Hell to the yeah. Like I mentioned in one of my earlier posts “Relations~~~s in the Military”, I’m well versed in the “barracks rats” – my particular location is renowned for numbers so I enjoy my own presence without their help.

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

The best way to “win a war of the mind” is to not go into analysis paralysis mode, where you start thinking too much and trying to decipher what it all means.

Analysis – love it to death but damn if it doesn’t bite back from time to time. Times like this genuinely make me wish I could be ignorant – if just for a day. Thank you for putting the words to my thoughts brother – now I can try to think it away! LOL

IntellectualSavior wrote:

I also think about adopting a child as a single father in the future, I don’t know if it will work out or not but for now that’s how I think.

I’ve considered the idea, but as I’ve seen with other brothers – it’s not your child . Either the child is young enough that you’ll have to explain why daddy is raising him/her single or the child is old enough to they were orphaned and will doubt your intentions for years. For the few it works for, bless them.

BrainPilot wrote:

And if you are in the military, your income is the easiest and most reliable of all resource targets. If you don’t already know what a ‘dependapotomus’ is, go and ask a few of your more experienced brothers in arms and have them explain it to you.

I’m well aware of the “42.9% interest” games and how each car salesman has a copy of the year’s DoD enlisted and officer pay. I stuck with a private seller 🙂 and in regards to the depandapotamus – ohhh my yes. That was my first footsteps into MGTOW – seeing poor desperate Privates finding a woman – any woman – who would stick around. Needless to say, their field goggles were a little thick. Fortunately, that at least increased my standards a little.

Sandals wrote:

Just my two cents. It’s Bushido’s choice.

By the way, Bushido, if you want to have children, work at a child nursery first for one year. That should clear things up for you.

Brother, I like how you say that – it’ll either clear things up as in a) Hate the little monsters or b) Be more solidified in my current thinking. That really is the MGTOW mindset.

Antipathy wrote:

All i can tell you is talk to guys, test the waters a bit, most aren’t worth your time because they are blue-pill superficial, but a few aren’t.

I hear you brother – my mindset usually consists of very clearly defining my personal vs. professional lives so unfortunately I don’t see many guys outside of work. I need to buy a new motorcycle; I’m working out a deal now to get a “fix-me” for $400. That reminds me, I got to bug that guy for pictures…

Akanbi wrote:

I think you should listen to the contributions of the experienced Men who live in the same geographical setting and area of jurisdiction as you.

I’ve learned well from the experiences of other MGTOWs here from all over the globe. I understand your intent, though I’ve learned that advice transcends years, borders and most everything between.

WPL wrote:

It’s not that I feel too old to “keep up” with a child; it’s more that having kids seems like something that people often do to “prove something” to the world, and I’ve lost interest in proving anything to anybody. I don’t know.

Perhaps I may fall into that same battle, I cannot say. I’ve personally desired to have a legacy – something to outlive myself, to teach all of my own lessons from my own experiences and succeed! If I have a son, I can teach him to trust his individualism and follow his own path. If I have a daughter, I can teach her how to be an equal to Men in all respects – open her own doors, shoot her own rifle, and be damned if I catch her playing mind games.

Anonymous wrote:

first you win the battle of the mind.
Then the desire for children goes away automatically as a direct consequence of the first.

Brother, I cannot say one way or the other – Time is the ultimate decider in all things, and perhaps I may change in time. After all, Albert Einstein said “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”

I apologize if I couldn’t get to all of my brothers here at once – I was dabbling in Sandal’s post a little bit and volunteered some time with elementary kids today. Fortunately the military puts a good letter in for me when I do that, so it’s really a win-win for me.

Thank you gentlemen. Have yourselves a pleasant weekend.

Logic guides your actions, emotion guides your morals. Only you may decide how you use them.

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