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Rorschach 4 years, 11 months ago.
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Hello gentlemen. New to the site and so happy to have found others who feel like I do. I felt it time i added my two cents in some fashion. While looking over the pathetic ramblings of women online I came across this little gem. I felt like this was a good example of what as a man you truly get to “look forward” to with a female creature this day and time. I will make my responses in bold/italic as we go down the list. You may want to have a trash can nearby because I am sure it will make your stomach turn as red-pills often do. I hope you enjoy. Please jump in and add your cents as well. I look forward to it! This horrifying list is entitled “15 Things I’m Embarrassed To Tell My Future Husband I Need”
—LOGIC AND REASONING ENDS HERE–
–BEGIN RANDOM NONSENSE.. NOW–
When it comes to meeting my husband one day, I’m a little worried. Not because I’m afraid it won’t happen (okay, that’s a complete lie, but moving on), but because I’ve been single for a while. And though this solo stint taught me at ton about my values and desires, it’s also given me time to think about the things I absolutely need in a partner.
Some are a little unrealistic, some are must-haves, and others will probably pop up along the way, but in no particular order … here are the things that I’ll need from my future husband.
I need you to …1. Say and write loving things to me—a lot
I’m absolutely in love with words. And especially loving words. Even if it’s as simple as “I love you” on a Post-It by the Keurig once a week, do it. I’ll also settle for a text message (or 20), too. — Yes be prepared to have to constantly reassure her. This kind of s~~~ never ends. She wants you to write her notes or texts somewhere between 52-1,040 times a year so that she doesn’t forget you love her. If you don’t she will probably cry and try to bang your friends because she wasn’t loved enough. WAHHHH!!
2. Ask my dad for my hand in marriage
And my mom, too, while you’re at it. I know it’s old-fashioned, creepy and a bit anti-feminist, but you know what? I don’t care. I’m convinced he’ll say ‘yes’ and though you might have to fly to North Carolina (please don’t Skype, it’s tacky) to ask, just think: My dad will totally make you a steak and pop you a beer while you’re there! – “Ya know i’m like totally a feminist but i’d like you to still participate creepy in old world traditions.” Take note of this kind of garbage. Feminism reminds me of religion. Why? Because each new branch of religion picks out the things they regard as worthy while pushing the rest to the wayside as being outdated. Trust me cupcake no-one is going to skype your pussy whipped father or fly to N.C. We are “like totally” capable of making our own steak and cracking a beer 24/7 whenever we feel the need to. With or without approval3. Be adept at balancing our incomes
Though I’m pretty financially secure, I worry about having enough money more than anything else. I save more than the average mid-20-something, but I have this irrational fear about it all disappearing. (Maybe because my NYC rent costs nearly double what most mortgages do?) I need you to be grounded on the topic and calm me down when I freak out. — HAHAHAHA wheew. Does not get any truthier than that guys. Note that she worries about having enough money more THAN ANYTHING ELSE!!! More than her love for you, babies, or kittens. That speaks for itself. She wants you to say “oh its okay babe I know you spent all your money on starbucks, shoes, organic free range cruetly free broccoli, and tons of worthless s~~~ from pottery barn. But here’s daddy’s credit card he will take care of everything” Translation I am strong and independent and I will carelessly burn through the money I earn and then expect to burn through yours as well.
4. Give me some space
I am an only child and those type of kids can go one of two ways: strong and self-made or … spoiled. Luckily, I’m the former, but I’ve always had plenty of alone time and it’s important to me. It’s not you—I love you already without even meeting you—it’s just that I need space to clear my mind. I promise to always come home to you. Absolutely as contradictory as it comes. While your busy sending her those constant updates on how much you love her make sure to also give her some space at the same time. Your f~~~ed either way. If you show her too much love your not giving her space, you space out the love too much and your distant and you “just don’t care enough”. What is the right amount of love? Hell who knows, i gave up trying to figure that s~~~ out. If i wanted to practice a balancing act I would have joined ringling brothers circus and banged midget freaks for breakfast.
5. Have A LOT of sex with me
Oh, and I want a lot of babies, too. I know that gotta-have-you-right-now kind of sex changes the longer you’re in a relationship (and especially when children come into the picture), but I always want to feel physically connected to you. And I want you to see me as the sexiest woman you’ve ever known. In return, I promise to make an effort, even when I’m absolutely exhausted. I hope you will, too. — Lets just go ahead and call bulls~~~ on that one.(Well the sex part at least, I have no doubt she wants tons-o-babies). Ok maybe pre-marriage. Post marriage and post kids its not going to happen. She will be too tired. If she is the rare freak she will want more sex than your willing to give. You’ll be fine popping her a couple of times. But that won’t be enough she’s just getting started and you want to roll over and fall asleep. Then your back to the “oh hes doesn’t love me” s~~~ again. SOO MUCH FUN!!
6. Listen to me overcommunicate about everything
I tend to ramble when I feel insecure; it’s my way of forcing someone to say something. It’s irrational and emotional (and often unnecessary), but if I don’t say it, it’ll eat me up inside. This vulnerability is part of the reason why I’m a successful writer, but it’s also a downfall. — SHE ADMITS THE TRUTH!!!! It is very much irrational and unnecessary. YOU WILL constantly find yourself in these types of situations if you date or marry a woman. So many times you’ll be tired or just want to relax and read or catch a game. She will feel the need to go ON AND ON about s~~~ that doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. Why?? For no good reason other than to appease her own insecurity, which can never be appeased no matter what you or her ever do in this world.
7. Accept that I use six different bottles of shampoo and conditioner
And at least 25 nail polish colors. Oh, and 10 lipsticks. Okay, fine, I don’t need them, but one day when I run out mid-shower, do you really want to be the one to run to the store to pick one up? Didn’t think so. — We don’t care about what personal products you use. I have never based my opinions of women on what kind of shampoo you use. What stands out to me on this one is her already perceived notion that once you are married to her that magically you are her errand boy. P~~~ off, if you didn’t realize you didn’t have enough of the shampoo you normally use only on Tuesday I’m not going to run to the store while your in the shower. Take note men she already expects this before you even dated her. I think i may have to vomit.
8. Tell me I don’t look fat
I might one day, but when I come out of our bedroom for some special event and you only muster ‘Let’s get going,’ my feelings will be really hurt. I’ll pay you compliments and I’ll rub your shoulders when you’re stressed, so please do the same for me. — I knew this would come up. It always does. First off by him saying let’s get going I take it he is worried about getting there on time because as usual you took forever to get ready to go somewhere. It really had nothing to do with how you look but more about time. At least as a man that is how I read it. Back to the fat part. See she’s already going to the “fat place” and your not even thinking about that your trying to get to the show before its halfway over. Another situation where you are f~~~ed either way. Right here SHE KNOWS SHE IS FAT but expects you to tell her otherwise. Even though you should “man up” and always be honest, there are exceptions where you are supposed to lie. What you say? This is void of logic good sir. Why yes it most certainly is.
9. Not be embarrassed when I cry in movies
I’m super-independent, self-sufficient and strong, but dramas get me everytime. Sometimes, even comedies. Just bring the tissues to the theater, k?— Hell no. If you are such a cry baby bring your own tissues. Keep them next to the tampons. Futhermore we are not going to go watch chik flicks or tween romance crap like twilight. Take your girlfriends and gay buddies. You can all cry and bleed on each other. I don’t feel the need to waste my precious emotions on made up s~~~ that is not real.
10. Speak your opinion
I want to be in love with your mind, your heart, what you stand for, what p~~~es you off, what makes you unique, what turns you on—I want to savor everything. So tell me everything. Share your life with me. — Translation, tell me how you feel about things. Then when you say something I don’t like I will get my feelings hurt. Then i’ll take your opinion and somehow twist it into something that’s against me and we will have a three or four hour “discussion” about how you hurt my feelings. She doesn’t want to savor, she wants to stew. Trust me the innocent feelings and opinions you have will somehow come back to hurt you. And furthermore you will always be the bad guy somehow. Even if you had nothing but great intentions.
11. Plan regular date nights
Even if it’s just in our sweats on a Friday night with takeout and a movie. I hear about couples losing the spark and I haven’t even found the spark, but I’m freaked out about losing it. Can we make a pact that we’ll have a date night once a week? I’m cool with pizza and beer and Netflix, just as long as we don’t lose each other in our busy lives. — Sounds kinda nice and loving on the surface doesn’t it. A nice night at home with some pizza and beer. Hell you may even get laid too. MGTOW already know this is not how your Friday will be, at least post marriage. “You never take me out” “You don’t want to spend time with me” “How come you don’t listen to my irrational and unnecessary ramblings” MGTOW has the same netflix, pizza, and beer without the drama.
12. Have a mom who likes me
We don’t have to be besties or drink wine together all the time, but I want her to like me. Especially more than she liked your college girlfriend. — You have no control on what other people think. If my Mom doesn’t like you then maybe your a silly t~~~. Or maybe my mom is a silly t~~~. Either way it doesn’t really matter what third parties think. Oh but to women.. whew third party opinions seem to be all that matters, even though those third parties will not be providing ATM services. (Also have you noticed that many women’s blogs include both WHINE AND WINE, and of course they would like your cheese with that.)
13. Be passionateOr like five of them. I never want to be anyone’s everything, even yours. I really believe no one can grow in shade and I don’t ever want us to feel suffocated by one another. I will support you in whatever you want to join, play or be part of, but have something you love besides me. — I NEVER WANT TO BE YOUR EVERYTHING… BUT I WANT YOU TO CONSTANTLY REMIND ME I’M YOUR EVERYTHING… nuff said.
14. Remind me you’re sticking around
Sorry, you can blame Tinder. And OkCupid. And the single bar scene in New York City. I don’t have much faith in the opposite sex. — Look its not our fault you got on Tinder or went to the bar, drank too much wine, hooked up, and got pumped and dumped. In fact the way i see it that’s what Tinder and bars are for. HOOKING UP. Who goes out to get drunk on a Friday to pick up their future spouse? Noone. Oh and you don’t have faith in us huh? Perhaps that’s the problem. You do not believe in good men. You don’t believe the guy that texts you he loves you ten times a day because you hooked up with someone on Tinder a couple of times. … umm yeah makes perfect sense…
15. Make me feel loved
And adored. My friends nicknamed me ‘love’ because it’s such a big part of my DNA. And yet in every relationship I’ve been in, I haven’t felt loved by the man I was with. Not truly, not fully, and not sincerely. I need to feel love in my bones and see it in your eyes. Why? Because I will love you more than you can imagine, and I need you to feel the same. — Go back to number 1 and number 14. These are all the same. WAH WAH WAH i’ve never been loved. By whose standard? YOUR OWN. In your BIO it says you are a 26-year-old single writer, editor, and blogger living in New York City. Part of your JOB is being single. I looked up your stats. You’ve actually created a business of being single in fact being single in itself has helped propel you foward financially. Please dream man come along so we can go on dates and I can tell you about my singles blog. Then we can talk about how i got pumped and dumped on Tinder so i can hold that against you sexually even though I don’t know you! Then we can go over my lists of things that a man should be. Then i could compare you to those lists and tell you how wrong you are and what you should be. But oh your opinions matter to me because I love you even though I don’t know you yet………
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."
1. Say and write loving things to me — a lot
Let’s also not forget if you say “love you, too,” she’ll either say it didn’t sound sincere enough or guilt trip you until you say it with complete passion like men in romance movies and novels do.
2. Ask my dad for my hand in marriage
Most fathers aren’t the biggest fans of me because of my non-gynocentric attitude. That, and I’m not a fan of fathers that pull the whole “I’ve got a shotgun and won’t be afraid to utilize it if you break up with her.” Talk about a forced relationship!
3. Be adept at balancing our incomes
I thought women hated to be “calmed down” when they were freaking out?
4. Give me some space
I’ve learned that when a woman says she wants space, this means “let me go sleep with other people behind your back, because you’re not giving me what I want completely.”
5. Have A LOT of sex with me
This kind of ties in with what Rorschach here is saying on the “give me some space” point. You’ll either want her too much, or not want her enough…either way, you lose, and she’ll tell all her friends, female and white knight alike. But she’ll definitely want a lot of kids.
6. Listen to me overcommunicate about everything
But Heaven forbid you overcommunicate about things you need to get off your chest. She’ll shame you for making it “all about you.”
7. Accept that I use six different bottles of shampoo and conditioner
That should be the woman’s responsibility to get her own supplies. We men know that accidentally picking the wrong brand, the wrong off-color black, the wrong scent, etc. will set her off and make her accuse us of “not listening.”
8. Tell me I don’t look fat
In other words, “lie to me, so I can use it against you later.”
9. Not be embarrassed when I cry in movies
I’m not watching some sappy movies where this would happen. Granted, some comic book movies I enjoy might have these kinds of things, but YOU should be prepared for that, woman!
10. Speak your opinion
“…so I can use your opinion later to cheat on you and say that your words hurt me and turned me on to someone else.”
11. Plan regular date nights
“…so that you can blow more money on me on unnecessary things.”
12. Have a mom who likes me
DANGER! DANGER! For some people with mothers like mine, I have one who tries to tell me who to date. Those that she wants me to date are either controlling, manipulative, or other things. This usually means “have a mom who likes me so we can team up on you later if you do something I don’t like…so I can run to her and she’ll take my side and say how abusive and manipulative you are!”
13. Be passionate
Be passionate about something other than me, so I can go back to the whole “give me space” thing. I can cheat on you while you’re doing your hobby on the side.
14. Remind me you’re sticking around
“…so that I can cheat on you and know you won’t leave me regardless. I need my main man on the side while this happens.”
15. Make me feel loved
But I don’t need to do the same for you.
12. Have a mom who likes me
DANGER! DANGER! For some people with mothers like mine, I have one who tries to tell me who to date. Those that she wants me to date are either controlling, manipulative, or other things. This usually means “have a mom who likes me so we can team up on you later if you do something I don’t like…so I can run to her and she’ll take my side and say how abusive and manipulative you are!”
Yes great point indeed Megachris!!
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."
I lost some serious valuables to a woman I was seeing while I was down on my luck about a year and a half ago because of that exact point.
I was feeling severely suicidal and started giving my things away. I gave my backwards compatible PS3 to my ex. When she helped me out of the depression phase, we tried our relationship again. When things went downhill because I was playing video games at another friend of mine’s house down the road from where I was located, my ex demanded the game back that I was playing. She had bought it for me as a birthday gift. When I demanded to have my PS3 back in that case, she said “no, you gave it to me.”
She then got my mother involved, who called me nonstop, threatening to kick me to the curb if I didn’t give the stupid game back to my ex (which would cause me to lose my job, my car, my other possessions, etc.). She then forgot to hang up the phone, and I overheard their conversation. She was telling my ex “you don’t need that. He doesn’t deserve you. He’s just a piece of crap. You’re a wonderful woman who deserves wonderful things.” This is the same ex that I’ve mentioned in other posts that beat me when things didn’t go her way.
Having a gynocentric mother can really hurt you.
Damn man that’s terrible even though i’m not particularly surprised by it. They always talk about the violence towards women, but they don’t care about the violence towards men. Good thing we have a voice here. I’m glad you chose to live and that you chose to go your own way. Keep on truckin’ on megachris. I look forward to reading your posts as well as others. I intend to post more myself as time permits.
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."
Glad to have a voice here for sure. Violence against men doesn’t count elsewhere, so it seems.
Also glad to see a fellow Watchmen fan here! 😛
Welcome Rorschach,
It sounds like you’re going to fit in just fine around here. If I could respond directly to the 26 year old girl who wrote this article, I would point out that it sounds to me very much as if she and a few of her girlfriends got together over drinks and had a discussion about what each thought was the most important thing to hope for in a man, and then just compiled the group’s list in her article. This would explain the contradictions.But on the premise that she really did write this all on her own, I would want to inviter her to make an equally long list of the things that men want, and then check those boxes next to the things that she’s willing to provide in the relationship with the man who brings all these things in her article. My guess is that she could not even come up with a 3 item list of what men want, because it’s never occurred to her that what we want would be anything for her to be concerned about.
When I hear women complain about where have all the good men gone?, I sometimes ask them to make a list of what men want. They all say sex and rarely ever have any idea beyond that. (This is like shooting fish in a very small barrel). I point out to them that the only thing they know of that a man might want…is the one thing a man can get from EVERY one of the 3 billion other women on the planet. So if they did stumble onto a ‘good man’, they’d have no idea what to offer other than what every other woman can offer.
Ask them to name 3-5 things that men need, and you get the deer in the headlights stare. A woman who knows what your needs are may, or may not, bother to meet them. Odds vary with the woman. But odds are zero for any woman who doesn’t even know what your needs are.
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
Ror: can’t go wrong with BrainPilot so ListenUp! man.
@ Megachris – Yes sir Watchmen and MGTOW all day!
@brainpilot – Thank you glad to be here. I mostly wanted to rant about some of this garbage they put out there. Not that i actually give a damn about some 26 twit online thinks. I do have to say it was like therapy and it felt good writing it. Nice to know there are fellow men that will find common ground with and share the frustration/humor in it all.
I point out to them that the only thing they know of that a man might want…is the one thing a man can get from EVERY one of the 3 billion other women on the planet. So if they did stumble onto a ‘good man’, they’d have no idea what to offer other than what every other woman can offer.
Ask them to name 3-5 things that men need, and you get the deer in the headlights stare. A woman who knows what your needs are may, or may not, bother to meet them. Odds vary with the woman. But odds are zero for any woman who doesn’t even know what your needs are.
YES!!! That is brilliant. I will definately make that my default response to any woman giving the “good man” line. I wonder how many if any could respond to that with something tangible. We shall see.
@Listen up! — I’m all ears man! 🙂
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."
I think most females’ definition of a “good man” would be one who does exactly what she wants, even when her wants are irrational and contradictory.
I’ve heard the “good man” line tossed around a lot lately and I usually respond with “Well I know what a good man is to me (uses creative destruction for the benefit of himself and others… more on that possibly later) but I’ve never heard a woman explain what a “good woman” is. I don’t propose to speak for your gender so what do you say… what are the characteristics of a “good woman”?”
Crickets chirping loudly in a silent glade. A leaf falls to the ground, the sound of it is deafening.
I am so glad I never have to worry about dealing with any of that stupid crap ever again.
I want to emphasize the many excellent points about your mom and how she would take a strangers side over something as trivial as an ex-box.
This is feminism. In the 50’s and 60’s when men think there was this nirvana of intact leave it to beaver families. Women who went to work in ww2, about 20 years old. Their men off to war, no one to tell them not to f~~~ around on their spouses, and they did just that.
By the time the war was over these women, now 25-35 in 1950 are the real rabble rousers of third wave feminism. The told their baby boom daughters how much happier these women were during the second ww that third wave feminism made reducing the male population to 10% of the total. The last 30 years has seen men incarcerated more than any country ever on the planet and 95% men. Something like half of all black men will have been incarcerated in their life. For the rest of us inflated dv and lack of presumption of guilt is giving every woman the ability to give a man a record that truly makes them a second class citizen.
who is to blame? Your mother, your father and your sister. They hate men including you and will place every female, even a meth head above you.
One reason is they think that will give them access to your children in case of the inevitable divorce. Didn’t turn out that way.
My mom and sister, after living life under feminism now fully agree with me. Did this stop their behavior? No. They are doing the same thing to my nephew. I’m trying to help him but the religion of today, feminism and family pressure will surely consume him.
The thing that p~~~es me off the most about feminism is that they destroyed the ability of mothers to love their own sons. Fathers might as well be extra trash bags for all their influence leaving young men with no one to support them in a society that hates them and need to use them as slaves.
How could you not love your own child because they have a penis.
Even in slave days the slave family was not torn apart as some sort of perverse game for the female plantation owners power trip and just plain old sadistic fun.
#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.
Some are a little unrealistic, some are must-haves, and others will probably pop up along the way, but in no particular order … here are the things that I’ll need from my future husband.
I need this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this…
A ONE WAY STREET!
Anonymous5Man well said. Dam well said. Dam well said – I could dream of your post. Cool profile pic too! s~~~ am I in a dream? all these logical thinking people! – what is this strange place ; )
@doc Fenderson
I’ve never heard a woman explain what a “good woman” is. I don’t propose to speak for your gender so what do you say… what are the characteristics of a “good woman”?
That is a most excellent point Doc!
I am so glad I never have to worry about dealing with any of that stupid crap ever again
Fantastic sir, i aspire to be more like you
@HR pufnstuf
The thing that p~~~es me off the most about feminism is that they destroyed the ability of mothers to love their own sons.
Yes sir, I couldn’t agree more. Megachris’s mom sold him (her own blood) out to some slut, no telling how many others its happened to. It absolutely makes me sick.
I need this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this…
A ONE WAY STREET!
Right on brother! Reminds me of Kenny Powers on East Bound and down. Quote went something like:
People say Kenny Powers is a woman hater. That’s not true. I love women. Every f~~~ing one of them, even the ugly as s~~~ ones. But don’t ask me to trust ’em. Not even nuns, because every pair of t~~~ comes with a gaping hole of need that even Kenny Powers can’t fill.
@DukeToga
Man well said. Dam well said. Dam well said – I could dream of your post. Cool profile pic too! s~~~ am I in a dream? all these logical thinking people! – what is this strange place ; )
Thank you much man. Quite the contrary sir, you’ve woken up from your dream and stumbled upon the truth. Just like the rest of us!
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."
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