'Starving artist' questioning my path

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

Hey guys, haven’t been around in a while after my ‘friends’ found my topic on here about the s~~~ty lawyer who stuck me with the bill for coming to his wedding.

Anyway, I quit my middle class job for the gov to chase my real dream of writing. I have been writing my own scifi epic for the last 10 years (just on a computer, not putting it out). Saving enough to take a few years off I quit and went for it. I have been hitting it VERY hard. Did all the research, the marketing etc etc. Even cranked a few books out. Bought ads, got emails lists, all of it.

Had some extremly modest success, but its grinding on me. I am ‘on’ all the time. I can rarely relax long because there is always more to blog, more to edit, more to email, and the worst part is not even making that much at all. I see how the real cash in writing is in romance, not scifi. Also its who can shout the loudest, who has the biggest blog etc, not talent. I feel like I have great stories to tell, and would feel like a waste if they never were written, but the lack of success and seeing the salesman s~~~show I have to go through is wearing me down.

Ive never been a quitter or a loser but also trying to be realistic. This story means so much to me (it helped save me get out of this toxic relationship that was literally killing me) where if I dont complete it I would probably feel like I failed myself, yet economically 99% of authors never make it.

Idk guys just in a melencholic mood, I chased my dream so hard, and seeing it not pan out almost makes me emotional.

[joetechParticipant]

I went through the same thing with music, but I accepted early on that it was never going to make me a living. You gotta do what you can to keep your dreams alive, and try not to confuse it with what you do to survive. A quote from Heart. I don’t advocate living your life according to song lyrics, but that advice served me well over the years. Keep writing and creating, but maybe, just maybe, you should go back to work as well.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Anonymous 11]

Self-employment is a hard row to hoe. You have to learn to shut everything out and relax whenever you get the chance.

I don’t think I’d have quit a government job though just worked that path on the side.

[ApexScorpionParticipant 602]

Shooting for the stars on the surface seem like a great thing to yourself and others, but they never talk about the other side of it which happens more often than not.

Most of the time, you will miss the stars completely.

Lower your expectations. Doing whatever you want to do, expecting it to make a profit, will take away from the enjoyment of its creation. Rather than an enjoyable hobby, it becomes as draining as a regular job you may hate.

You have no control over it’s earning potential. If you did, you would be rich, right?

Don’t feel bad about it, be glad you had to opportunity to quit your job and do what you wanted. That’s a great feat in itself.

And how the hell did you get caught by your friends? Are they really that clever?

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

^Yeah I am noticing that. I love/loved writing but now that I have to do it to get money, it is losing its ‘specialness’. I cant have my MC going around smacking women now can I? 😉

It really p~~~es me off seeing idiots who ‘make it’ (almost always romance) then say how easy it is and so on. Frustrating.

Same deal with I made a really cool board game. The boardgame industry is super niche/small so its like the game I spent hundreds of hours on, do I just keep the one copy in my closet or try to do something when odds are way against me?

***

My ‘friends’ knew I was upset and I think actually found me by searching parts of the email (the bill) he had sent. The guy was a major asshole and the other guy was his little bitch, so no major loss other than we were friends for 10-15 years. Guy was clearing 120k a year and billed me 500$ for the suit I wore standing up for him. (After my family gave him a 400$ gift no less. In true lawyer speak he told me ‘well it was just a gift’)

[OldBillParticipant]

Okay, it’s reality time…

I’ve a friend who has taught creative writing and similar courses on the collegiate level for decades. When not teaching, he leads writers’ workshops, meetings, and like.

He doesn’t earn his living writing.

He’s the first one to tell you he doesn’t earn his living writing. Statistically, no one earns a living writing. The average yearly earnings of those writers in the US who bothered to reply to the question was less than $5,000. That number includes people who were physically published in magazines and books too.

J.K. Rowling is best thought of as a lottery winner and not a writer.

My friend will tell you no one writes as well as they think they do, especially hobby writers, especially sci-fi/fantasy writers, and very much especially self-published writers. If your writing hasn’t been through a good give and take with a good editor your writing is s~~~ no matter how long you’ve sweated over it.

The ‘net has made self-publishing easy. The amounts you can earn however are so small that you need to embrace “mass production” to earn even paltry amounts and “mass production” means producing what can be sold in mass; romance stories to lonely middle aged cat ladies. If you can’t go that route, you’re not going to support yourself writing.

All this doesn’t mean you should stop writing. It does mean you should stop fantasizing. You need a job, not a hobby. It needn’t be a ball breaking soul devouring job, just one that can keep you in beer & skittles.

Conrad was a merchant marine officer, Faulkner tended a furnace at a university, Bukowski worked in a post office, Hammett wrote ad copy and worked as a Pinkerton. Real authors, real good authors, wrote as a sideline. You can and should do the same.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[ABParticipant 762]

OldBill wrote:

All this doesn’t mean you should stop writing. It does mean you should stop fantasizing. You need a job, not a hobby.

This is advice I realised some time ago. I am a writer too, working on… yup, a fantasy novel. I did all the legwork of looking into how you go about literary agents, publishing, royalties etc. and decided f~~~ it, I’m still going to write it because it’s something I’m passionate about. The same goes for recording songs; I know I have no prospect at making a living off it – but I enjoy it, so I do it for me and whoever else cares to listen.

If nobody reads my book, if nobody listens to my music, I aren’t arsed. I do this because I want too. I do this for me.

No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

I’ve been an aspiring author for 35 years, since I got a write up in the local paper ain third grade. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up my night gig.

Old Bill’s harsh advice is absolute truth. Your writing will suffer if you’re starving for real. Sustain your body and continue to pursue your passion, but make sure that your basic needs are taken care of first.

There is a whole counter culture of artists and whack jobs right now in urban areas, but they all live with their parents… and their a-sexual groups “hang out” in public areas. If you know you need to take care of business already, then it might be time for another steady income to support your art.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[sidecarParticipant 35862]

Publishers and record labels make money. Authors and musicians don’t.

[Can’t Stump TrumpParticipant]

^^^^^

I also love producing art, but is AB said, it’s for me because I enjoy it. I don’t make any money off it and I don’t expect to.

Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

Well ‘staving’ is figurative. I saved a lot of cash and could cruise a few years still.

I suspose the biggest thing is if I am ‘giving up’ on my dream if I go back to working. A major reason I quit my job was because I started viewing writing as a ‘childish thing to do’ – which as I said before my dedication to it saved me from a hellish girlfriend.

But…on the other hand I REALLY REALLY hate being a salesman and sucking up to little f~~~~~s who only want my free stories but leave when I want 99cents for one.

[Anonymous 42]

Finish the damn book by hook or by crook! Starts without finishes are a wasted endeavor! Even if it doesn’t sell you gain the upper hand with follow through, when your ship does finally come in it will only be attributed to your long list of accomplishments and not a pile of abandoned starts that are automatic failures! The Wright brothers built bicycles then went on to build airplanes. How many bicycles did they build before Kitty Hawk?

[Anonymous 1]

Keep writing, keep your dreams alive.

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

Having to deal with customers really sucks. Esp when one of them decides to leave a bad review. I hate being held loosely hostage to whims of people like this.

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

Its a real rollercoaster that is for sure, had a few fans contact me and say how much they like it. Makes me want to keep plugging at least a little longer.

[Author]

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