so now what happens?

[Anonymous 43]

So what happens when all the anger from betrayal is used up? What happens when the red pill rage winds down? What happens when everything that used to define you has fallen away? What happens when all you have is a monthly financial obligation? And when that expires, then what?

I feel a little lost here. For 8 years I have been angry, and today i don’t feel angry. Not angry, just empty. I am so far removed from my kids, the way I remember them is not valid anymore. I barely remember what my ex-wife looks like, just a vague image. I don’t have any pictures of the family…there are some pictures and video on the internet. I am no longer relevant to them, nor them to me. I don’t care what my former family is doing. My kids will find their way with out me, I can’t contact them without breaking a court order. It is another s~~~ vortex I will avoid.

My identity was husband, father, and then divorced man, but none of that has any meaning to me any more. I just don’t feel that part of my life is relevant anymore. I can’t go back to the old life, and I don’t know where to go from here. I worked hard to become a school teacher, but that environment was too toxic, and not satisfying. My license will expire in a month. I don’t want to return to teaching either. I was told along the way that the education system wanted male teachers, but the reality is public education is a hive, female teachers and administration see men as a threat, the enemy, and push them out.

I have learned about the red pill experience and how to live within the manosphere. Looking at the blue pill world horrifies and disgusts me. I see what women are doing to themselves, and to other people and I am no longer shocked or surprised. I find all women repulsive, and harbor great suspicion of them. But I can not avoid women, they are everywhere. Putting a woman in my life is an unacceptable choice, and so I live for myself. I invested so much time and energy into rage, and now I am all out of rage. Is this the peace I have been seeking?

I don’t feel peace. Peace should have some element of contentment or satisfaction. I feel empty and apathetic. I want to mourn some loss, but I ran out of tears years ago.

I guess if the red pill world is the awakening from the blue pill world, is there some higher level above red pill?

[ghostParticipant]

I am sorry to hear this, brother. I wish I had an answer for you but I don’t have as much experience. I am sure there will be others who can impart some wisdom here.

I am still in a bit of a vortex with lots of anger inside of me. I do not know what lies ahead but I keep taking it one day at a time.

[CoolbreezeParticipant 442]

The rage is a means to an end. Now life becomes anew with the experience you’ve gained without the pitfall of the anger. That will be entirely of your choosing

[WallyParticipant]

I wish I had an answer but I don’t. The only thing I can think of is to ask you, what does May 7th want to do with his life? Your kids will be fine, but what about you? What do you want to do?

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

Anonymous wrote:

So what happens when all the anger from betrayal is used up? What happens when the red pill rage winds down? What happens when everything that used to define you has fallen away? What happens when all you have is a monthly financial obligation? And when that expires, then what?

You’ve reached the moment in time where you need to reinvent yourself.

you have passed your identity of ” husband, father, and then divorced man, ”

Now come up with a new identity as the free man, the music man, adventure man, nature man, or whatever of your choosing. Find what motivates you.

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[xanthineParticipant 4903]

There is no place for us in the society we created…it has turned hostile and cold to us. We are no longer respected as husbands and fathers; instead we are anonymous wallets. We are no longer productive workers; instead we are disposable worker drones with no livelihood or work to take pride in…there are very few fields or industries left that have not been corrupted and infiltrated, and it is clear we are not welcome in the ones that have.

We are no longer valued. We are no longer wanted. I dont know about you guys, but that is something i feel every single day.

That’s why we are checking out and leaving. Maybe they will realize how valuable we were when we stop producing for them. Not that it will really matter, at that point…nothing really matters anymore.

[ghostParticipant]

Blue Skies wrote:

Now come up with a new identity as the free man, the music man, adventure man, nature man, or whatever of your choosing. Find what motivates you.

Wally wrote:

What do you want to do?

I think these guys are right. They have both recently posted on their success so I would trust what they are saying.

[Anonymous 1]

For the longest time I Held her responsible for my anger. For hurting me. It is yourself who decides how to react to the injustice. You have every right to be angry. But you also have the power to decide when to move on from that anger and focus on yourself and your life. You are giving her that power over you.

I said f~~~ it no matter what she has done, I stand her today. This is my situation and I will decide which direction to go. I understand you still have the alimony and child support to pay with the power of the state and judge f~~~wit. But the is it, the rest is on you. We are here for you brother.

[Anonymous 43]

Gambit, I was thinking about you when I started this thread. You and I are in such opposite places. The past few months have been hell for you…your inner demons are consuming you, my friend, at a ferocious rate. You wanted to beat up an expensive automobile earlier.

You have everything that marks a man as successful, and it is not enough. I have nothing, and I am happy to have very basic things. I am happy to have the next lungful of air.

Wally, I wish I had an answer brother. I thought I wanted a computer science degree, but I have to pass three difficult math classes, in addition to the regular course work. Maybe I don’t want it as badly as I thought I did. I’m a little beat down right now.

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

xanthine wrote:

There is no place for us in the society we created…it has turned hostile and cold to us.

We are no longer valued. We are no longer wanted. I dont know about you guys, but that is something i feel every single day.

Don’t worry about how society views you. How do you view yourself? Do you live up your own expectations and goals?

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Anonymous 2]

What you have is a clean slate! When the anger and emotions subside you begin again. You’ve said it yourself “so I live for myself”! That statement alone is enough to keep going! Many men have been lost because they couldn’t even say that simple statement about themselves! That’s huge. Also you said you feel empty. Take that as this perhaps, an empty cup if you will? It’s empty waiting to be filled with exactly what YOU want to fill it with. Find a simple thing in life you enjoy, explore that avenue until it leads to something else. If all those things are truly in your past, the world is a white canvas for you! I hope you find peace and a focus Brother!

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

Anonymous wrote:

I have nothing,

that’s not true, you have the MGTOW community supporting you and one another.

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Anonymous 42]

After it all burns down and the final ember dies out you become JUST LIKE ME!

ME-HE-HE-MOO-HOO-HOO-AHA-HA-HA!

[ghostParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

Gambit, I was thinking about you when I started this thread. You and I are in such opposite places. The past few months have been hell for you…your inner demons are consuming you, my friend, at a ferocious rate. You wanted to beat up an expensive automobile earlier.

You have everything that marks a man as successful, and it is not enough. I have nothing, and I am happy to have very basic things. I am happy to have the next lungful of air.

You should take solace from this fact alone, brother. I hope I don’t have another day like yesterday but that’s what I say every time it happens. It just happens randomly. I have lost count how many of those days I have had. I have done a lot of damage to myself and my belongings as a result. It is frustrating.

– I crashed a very expensive car earlier this year.
– I tossed a really expensive set of golf clubs in a lake.
– I hurt myself in the gym really bad where I had to be on pain killing steroids and sleep medicine.
– I have had blow ups with friends and family over trivial matters.
– I have lost plenty of money on botched business deals due to my anger and rage.
– I have almost killed myself multiple times.
– I almost killed a mangina.

I have actually made an appointment with a psychiatrist next week. I am not very hopeful but a few people have recommended it so I think I should give it a shot.

[Anonymous 43]

Kowalski, wise words brother, I am in control of what happens to me. I think I finally let go of the rage that defined me, and I feel a little lost.

I woke up this morning not feeling angry, I slept all night, not startling myself and screaming. Today I had the sense of waking up in MY bed, not A bed. Huge difference.

[SandalsParticipant 4253]

You could take a year off – go be a foreign teacher in a totally foreign land, just to get away. Buy a motor bike, and go on sabbaticals on the weekends. Take some time away to just chill, and think, and experience something totally new.

As for me, I am thinking of getting together with some MGTOW folks and starting a company, and making a crap load of money. Basically, live in a MGTOW house and work on some venture together and get rich, like, millionaire rich. I know some MGTOW say don’t go for the money, and that’s cool and all for them, but for me, I think if you have money, you can do whatever you want.

[WallyParticipant]

My Dad, he loved model airplanes, it gave him such joy! The last week of his life he and I were driving with my sister and I turned to him and asked him “Dad what do you enjoy most? And I don’t mean me and my sister but what do you enjoy most?” He thought for several seconds and finally said planes and in particular “a specific plane” we continued driving for several minutes. At some point a mustang almost sideswiped me and made me pull into a culdsac and right in front of us was sitting this same plane my Dad had just mentioned a few minutes before just sitting in the street, staring at us. My Dad was in tears and I and my sister were speechless, he was given a final moment of joy. It doesn’t have to be that way for you 7, you have many years left, what in your heart do want? My father loved his airplanes, the child inside of him loved airplanes as a child he loved them, what did you want to do as a child before the world told you what you had to do, shamed you to do? Probably not computer science?

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[ghostParticipant]

Sandals wrote:

As for me, I am thinking of getting together with some MGTOW folks and starting a company, and making a crap load of money. Basically, live in a MGTOW house and work on some venture together and get rich, like, millionaire rich. I know some MGTOW say don’t go for the money, and that’s cool and all for them, but for me, I think if you have money, you can do whatever you want.

That sounds like a great idea. Wish you all the best, bro.

[Anonymous 43]

Kowalski, wise words brother, I am in control of what happens to me. I think I finally let go of the rage that defined me, and I feel a little lost.

I woke up this morning not feeling angry, I slept all night, not startling myself and screaming. Today I had the sense of waking up in MY bed, not A bed. Huge difference.

maybe I am in an enviable position and I don’t realize it. Am I that spoiled? OMG I am channeling my inner Diogenes and cursing the cup I drink from as an extravagant luxury? Please forgive me brothers, this was not my intent here.

maybe i am buying into another blue pill lie, that life has to be satisfying and fulfilling. maybe there is no peace, no satisfaction for some people. I don’t know. Is peace defined as the absence of rage? maybe I have the wrong word here.

[ghostParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

Is peace defined as the absence of rage?

YES!

[Author]

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