I have T minus 9 months to extract myself from the relationship with my assets intact before we are legally commonlaw at the 3 year cohabitating limit?  We’ve been living together in a co-owned mortgage house for just over 2 years.

Let’s say I want an extraction plan, I thought I would get her to sign a cohabitating agreement, or maybe a prenuptual that specifically outlines what pre-relationship assets I’m bringing to the table.  I’m guessing after she signs, but before the 3 year commonlaw date, I can then GTFO with assets relatively intact?

I would have enough money to compensate her for what equity she’s put into our house.  Or we could sell and she gets paid for what she put in (which has all been tracked by e-transfers from seperate accounts).  Would we have to split equity 50-50, or would I be able to get exactly what I put in, which is about 2/3 compared to her.

Now, if you choose to stick it out to 3 years plus, here is the likely outcome: your chunk of that house will no longer be yours.  It will be given to her. You stated elsewhere she seems to never have money, so anticipate losing that should it come to court.  Also, since she never has money, you will likely be on the hook for some form of alimony or support payments at least for a time so she can f~~~ dudes in the home you will be paying for.

If your only major asset is that home, your answer is above.  GTFO before that 3 years or expect to kiss it good all bye.  If you have assets associated with your ID number so that they can be traced, these will be targets in 9 months.  Bank accounts? … start pulling cash NOW regularly (not obviously) and shoeboxing it in a secure, private location (not a safe-deposit-box though).  Investment vehicles? … plan ahead and see if you can covert these to cash and pull it off the market for a time.  Nice cars? … sell and trade down.  Precious Metals? … if they are paper holdings, convert them to physical and store them with the cash, or convert to cash and hide it.  Basically look at everything you think she can come after and get it disassociated with you or your ID number.

I buried s~~~ at my dad’s home in my divorce, literally getting in my car and driving 2400 miles round trip and put a safe in his attic. I put assets in his name, etc, whatever it took. Do things like this, but you are best off getting out of this before that 3 years strikes and you are battling to retain what was yours, and paying lawyers to do so..

I would say, unless you have an endgame by which you know what you are going to do with your new freedom, you are far less likely to try to gain freedom, because the positive here and now is much stronger than your thoughts on freedom.

Your jointly owned house is likely a lost cause – at least to the extent that you have over 50% in it. In your case I would be more concerned that no sale occurs prior to 3 years, but that you may still be on the hook to pay 50% or more of the mortgage, but forbidden to live there. Your best bet in the case of the home is to kill the relationship WELL PRIOR to the 3 year mark and get that place on the market. Now, if you choose to stick it out to 3 years plus, here is the likely outcome: your chunk of that house will no longer be yours. It will be given to her. You stated elsewhere she seems to never have money, so anticipate losing that should it come to court. Also, since she never has money, you will likely be on the hook for some form of alimony or support payments at least for a time so she can f~~~ dudes in the home you will be paying for. If your only major asset is that home, your answer is above. GTFO before that 3 years or expect to kiss it good all bye. If you have assets associated with your ID number so that they can be traced, these will be targets in 9 months. Bank accounts? … start pulling cash NOW regularly (not obviously) and shoeboxing it in a secure, private location (not a safe-deposit-box though). Investment vehicles? … plan ahead and see if you can covert these to cash and pull it off the market for a time. Nice cars? … sell and trade down. Precious Metals? … if they are paper holdings, convert them to physical and store them with the cash, or convert to cash and hide it. Basically look at everything you think she can come after and get it disassociated with you or your ID number. I buried s~~~ at my dad’s home in my divorce, literally getting in my car and driving 2400 miles round trip and put a safe in his attic. I put assets in his name, etc, whatever it took. Do things like this, but you are best off getting out of this before that 3 years strikes and you are battling to retain what was yours, and paying lawyers to do so..

I’m reading over the commonlaw rules in Canada, and I don’t think it’s as dire as all that.  Maybe after the 3 year mark, yes.  What I need to secure is my pre-relationship assets in writing (House down payment was all from me, Car that is mine, and only paid for by me, some inheritance from my grandparent who passed, etc., and about 30K in savings/investments RRSPs.

I don’t see how hiding a cash box would benefit me, (I get that that’s as liquid as you can get, but there will still be a bank account paper trail of the withdrawal).

I think what I’m asking is a commonlaw agreement or prenuptual signed in the next 9 months would cover me.  My concern about a prenuptual, can that be used against you to show an “intent to marry” and therefor her going after more money?

You appear to be totally lost.  Obviously you are a Canadian but you do not tell us in which province you reside.  For example in BC the three year rule was abandoned years ago.  It was first reduced to 2 years and there is now pending legislation, which is being used by the courts even now, to reduce this to 6 months.  YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT, 6 MONTHS.

If you find yourself living in a Common Law relationship (and this includes having a child even if you are not residing in the same house) it is regarded as a marriage-like arrangement and treated as though you had taken out a marriage license and actually married.  You are then dead.  THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT TO F~~~ AROUND WITH.  GET A LAWYER AND FIND OUT WHAT THE RULES ARE.  The women already know what the laws are.

What ever you do, get a Pre-Nuptial Agreement.  Not one off the internet.  They are useless and say virtually the same thing as a marriage contract.  There is no real additional protection.  Go to a lawyer and get a Pre-Nuptial Agreement that is specific to your case.  Your significant other has to get her own lawyer for this as well, or it is a waste of time (kiss your ass good bye).  Tell your lawyer everything you want to protect, and all the rules you want to apply if things go south.  Your lawyer will know exactly how far you can go without the Pre-Nuptial being thrown out.  It has to appear fair, and you can not give away a child’s rights to claim support from both parents.  If your significant other refuses a Pre-Nuptial Agreement, on the grounds that it is unromantic, then the response should be that a Marriage Contract is unromantic because it is a legally binding contract between the two of you and the government.

If there is a child in the relationship (even if it is not yours or hers from a previous) and you do not have a Pre-Nuptial Agreement, the courts are going to give the kids (any child of tender years) to the mother,  and the mother is going to be awarded a place to stay to bring up the children (the matrimonial home).   Even if it is not hers.  Well you say, you paid for more than half of the house already.  Well let me tell you, even if you paid 100% you would not be given the house.   When I say this, I mean that the court may award you your house, but you will not be allowed to stay in it.  You will be required to pay the mortgage payments, and you will be awarded one half of the value of the house, and one-half of all mortgage payments made, when the house is eventually sold.  So yes, you get your house, but you don’t get it until the kids are 18.

Now she will also need money to raise the kids, and she will need money to live on.  So prepare yourself to pay both Child Support and Alimony.  Do not let your spouse be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM).  That is deadly.

One last point.  Do not have your name entered onto a Birth Certificate unless you are absolutely sure you are the father.  There should be no hesitation from your significant other to have a DNA test.

There is no way to save your idiot friend, to whom you refer in your previous post.  He is grumbling over a beer without the proper facts.  And I note that many of the comments and advice which are well intended, contain absolute bulls~~~ as well.  Free advice yeah, but HELLOOOOOOOOO.  This s~~~ is critical.  GET A LAWYER,  I NOTICE THE GUYS GIRLFIEND HAS GOT A LAWYER (she may be a cheater, but she’s smarter than him).

I don’t think it’s as dire as all that

General Custer probably said something similar before the Indians slaughtered his ass.  There is a saying about marriage and divorce:
. . . . . . . . . . . “the f~~~ing you get aint worth the f~~~ing you get.”
This statement does not exist because the laws make sense.  Across the western world, they don’t.  You have a penis, therefore you will get shorted – this is the law.  As Robert says above, they keep changing the laws to infringe on you, the man, and reward the women.  Pre-nups are not to be trusted.  Now, you may think that logic will cover your ass in court, but it will not.

You have 2 choices when it comes to how to learn:
. . . . . • from our collective experience and well intended advice, or
. . . . . • the hard way
Your choice.

As for bank withdrawals, this is why I indicated not to do it all at once, but to do it regularly.  X dollars a day, or 3 times a week or whatever.  Pull cash, store it, you can claim to have spent it.  If you pull out $100k in cash you need to explain it, but if you do 400 today, 300 Wednesday, 500 Saturday etc on and on, it becomes a regular outflow.  Get it out of the bank and out of your name.  Either that, or you will lose it in 9 months.

Never trust the court to do what’s right, but if you do, then recall later what we’ve explained here when you are wondering what went wrong.

Hello Canadian Sports Fan You appear to be totally lost. Obviously you are a Canadian but you do not tell us in which province you reside. For example in BC the three year rule was abandoned years ago. It was first reduced to 2 years and there is now pending legislation, which is being used by the courts even now, to reduce this to 6 months. YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT, 6 MONTHS. If you find yourself living in a Common Law relationship (and this includes having a child even if you are not residing in the same house) it is regarded as a marriage-like arrangement and treated as though you had taken out a marriage license and actually married. You are then dead. THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT TO F~~~ AROUND WITH. GET A LAWYER AND FIND OUT WHAT THE RULES ARE. The women already know what the laws are. What ever you do, get a Pre-Nuptial Agreement. Not one off the internet. They are useless and say virtually the same thing as a marriage contract. There is no real additional protection. Go to a lawyer and get a Pre-Nuptial Agreement that is specific to your case. Your significant other has to get her own lawyer for this as well, or it is a waste of time (kiss your ass good bye). Tell your lawyer everything you want to protect, and all the rules you want to apply if things go south. Your lawyer will know exactly how far you can go without the Pre-Nuptial being thrown out. It has to appear fair, and you can not give away a child’s rights to claim support from both parents. If your significant other refuses a Pre-Nuptial Agreement, on the grounds that it is unromantic, then the response should be that a Marriage Contract is unromantic because it is a legally binding contract between the two of you and the government. If there is a child in the relationship (even if it is not yours or hers from a previous) and you do not have a Pre-Nuptial Agreement, the courts are going to give the kids (any child of tender years) to the mother, and the mother is going to be awarded a place to stay to bring up the children (the matrimonial home). Even if it is not hers. Well you say, you paid for more than half of the house already. Well let me tell you, even if you paid 100% you would not be given the house. When I say this, I mean that the court may award you your house, but you will not be allowed to stay in it. You will be required to pay the mortgage payments, and you will be awarded one half of the value of the house, and one-half of all mortgage payments made, when the house is eventually sold. So yes, you get your house, but you don’t get it until the kids are 18. Now she will also need money to raise the kids, and she will need money to live on. So prepare yourself to pay both Child Support and Alimony. Do not let your spouse be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). That is deadly. One last point. Do not have your name entered onto a Birth Certificate unless you are absolutely sure you are the father. There should be no hesitation from your significant other to have a DNA test. There is no way to save your idiot friend, to whom you refer in your previous post. He is grumbling over a beer without the proper facts. And I note that many of the comments and advice which are well intended, contain absolute bulls~~~ as well. Free advice yeah, but HELLOOOOOOOOO. This s~~~ is critical. GET A LAWYER, I NOTICE THE GUYS GIRLFIEND HAS GOT A LAWYER (she may be a cheater, but she’s smarter than him).

I’m in a different province, and I just checked, and currently the legislation says 3 years.  My friend’s wife is convinced it is 6 months (she is from BC) so there’s that.  It changes by province, that’s crazy.

I guess my question on Prenuptual, is it worth getting one if I have No intention to marry?  If a prenup will cover a commonlaw split then I would totally do it if it comes into effect from the date of signing.

In the next 9 months I need to get her to sign something to the effect of the car, my savings, inheritance and down payment were mine prior to the relationship.

Edit:  We have no children yet, and according to tests I’m fine, she will have a difficult time concieving.

That is how most cases end up in this situation.   However if you have a child with her, you will have few easy choices.

At least in America,  the court will almost always award the mortgage to the party most able to pay if that person does not wish to sell.

If you have no children with her, there is no way a lawyer will stand aside and agree to you paying for her to live there.  I went through a divorce just like that and I got the house because I could afford it, even though she wanted to keep it

Canadian SportsFan wrote:

I don’t think it’s as dire as all that

General Custer probably said something similar before the Indians slaughtered his ass. There is a saying about marriage and divorce: . . . . . . . . . . . “the f~~~ing you get aint worth the f~~~ing you get.” This statement does not exist because the laws make sense. Across the western world, they don’t. You have a penis, therefore you will get shorted – this is the law. As Robert says above, they keep changing the laws to infringe on you, the man, and reward the women. Pre-nups are not to be trusted. Now, you may think that logic will cover your ass in court, but it will not. You have 2 choices when it comes to how to learn: . . . . . • from our collective experience and well intended advice, or . . . . . • the hard way Your choice. As for bank withdrawals, this is why I indicated not to do it all at once, but to do it regularly. X dollars a day, or 3 times a week or whatever. Pull cash, store it, you can claim to have spent it. If you pull out $100k in cash you need to explain it, but if you do 400 today, 300 Wednesday, 500 Saturday etc on and on, it becomes a regular outflow. Get it out of the bank and out of your name. Either that, or you will lose it in 9 months. Never trust the court to do what’s right, but if you do, then recall later what we’ve explained here when you are wondering what went wrong.

I know it, I want to start protecting assets as well…but pulling cash out, then it’s just sitting there not earning any interest, not doing anything…what just go bury cash in a box?  Seems risky to me.  I agree it would be nice to have a float just in case.  How long did you pull cash out for/how much cash did you have on hand?