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Anonymous 4 years, 6 months ago.
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Hey folks,
Like so many users here, I stumbled upon MGTOW after having gone through a rough breakup. It was a measly two-year thing with a girl I completely over-committed to, that ended with me getting dumped/cheated on about four months back. Which is a backstory that I know pales in comparison to many of the followers here who have gone through things like nasty divorces. However it was enough to shake me out of apathy and seek some answers. Since then I’ve binge-watched many of the Channel videos by the MGTOW content creators and made it through maybe a quarter of them in only two weeks.
That being said, I remain skeptical of my reason for enjoying the content and following myself.
I’m still deeply torn up over my relationship and felt like watching MGTOW videos has become like a form of coping for myself. It felt comfy hearing about such manosphere centered topics and it’s helped me slightly shift my mind off of her. What I’m thinking though, is that this may only be a temporary interest and not a complete dedication to MGTOW. A situational follower if you will. Because really, I’m willing to bet I’d commit to a women again once I’ve healed properly. I’m only 22…I don’t know what is the right path yet.I didn’t mean to offend any life-sworn MGTOW. I’m just being honest with my feelings here. Perhaps this topic of a sort of temporary MGTOW-phase has come up before? Especially since so many turn to it after breakups. Thoughts on this as a whole?
I’m still deeply torn up over my relationship and felt like watching MGTOW videos almost felt like a form of coping. It felt comfy hearing about such manosphere centered topics and it’s helped me slightly shift my mind off of her. What I’m thinking though, is that this may only be a temporary interest and not a complete dedication to MGTOW. A situational follower if you will. Because really, I’m willing to bet I’d commit to a women again once I’ve healed properly. I’m only 22…I don’t know what is the right path yet.
I understand what you’re saying; however, you need to heed one absolute truth: all women are like your ex. Whether you embrace MGTOW or not, understanding that women will manipulate and use you is important to protect yourself.
Go ahead, take the pepsi challenge: learn what you can about women here, and see if you can find a woman who is not like it. You may need to practice your observation skills, and it may take some time for her true colors to show, but she will turn out like all the rest.
In any event, welcome to the forums!
You may be purple pill …. who knows. However, you now have a certain knowledge that will help guide future relations~~~s. That can only be a good thing.
Mgtow is not asking you to give up on dating and f~~~ing around ….
JUST DON’T GET MARRIED.
Why?
Because that is your doom. That is the moment when you marry the state and should you p~~~ her off ….. she will destroy you.
You may need a few more breakups to desensitise from ‘heartache’ and then maybe you’re red pill ready.
Either way, you have knowledge and are better now then you were.
Be careful out there ….. and we’re always here. Door always open ☺
If I were you (while you are in the MGTOW information gathering stage) you should really take in as much as you can. By the comment you said of already being convinced you will jump in another relationship while still feeling burned from the prior shows how the social engineering is very drenched in your soul. You are still young and should do more focusing on your goals and what makes you happy now and in the future,women are not going anywhere! Women look at men for utility and you’re no exception,just like you are socially engineered to desire to be her slave,she is engineered to do exactly what your ex did. You are disposable and she showed you that,those 2 years meant nothing to her so she went behind your back to bag another guy while still with you. I was cheated on also around your age with baby in tow and that was my wake up call and never trusted a woman again and life has been grand. I hope you learn from this and reconsider your position when it comes to the opposite sex.
Never lose sight of what brought you here.
A situational follower if you will. Because really, I’m willing to bet I’d commit to a women again once I’ve healed properly. I’m only 22…I don’t know what is the right path yet.
At 22, you’re ahead of the game. You’ve experienced a crushing blow dealt by a female. Now you have an idea of what they are capable of. You’ll need to take note of this and start looking back and reflecting. Try to recall all the times she said something that made you cringe or something that set off an internal alarm. Things about her that just didn’t mesh with what she claimed about herself. These are red flags. All the times she said she loved you and enjoyed being with you were her using her vagina to entice and ensnare you. Men love the female form. It’s our biggest downfall by far. Not much compares when we generalize our history.
I won’t be the guy to s~~~ on someone who wants to still hold faith that he can find a decent woman. My advice is… if you’re going to engage with females, you NEED to assume they are ALL just like your ex. If you assume this, then you can isolate those red flags I spoke of and not be susceptible to being pulled along and eject quickly. Guard your emotions and make sure to keep reality in check. Real life says women operate almost entirely on emotion, and in turn, are not holding themselves to rational logic. They will always seek to justify their behavior and if at all possible, project the issue onto you and make it your fault. This is to devalue you as she leaves the scene. It’s so that even though she is leaving you, you have lost confidence moving forward, making it more likely that you have unsuccessful mating attempts in the future. This also creates an image in your mind that she is the one to be sought after, and this is because should she decide to come back and use you again, you’ll possibly still have the false image in your head and take her back. It’s a total mindf~~~. You need to look at this from a psychological perspective and realize that females are very typically not rational creatures, and are capable of well thought out manipulations, as well as instinctual ones. Some are conscious. Some are subconscious. You need to hone your bulls~~~ detector based on what you experienced.
Not to be a dick either, but my dose of hard reality on a personal level, is that as I think about the notion of finding a decent woman it just seems absurd and a lost cause. With some experience, you’ll see it for yourself.
I understand what you’re saying; however, you need to heed one absolute truth: all women are like your ex. Whether you embrace MGTOW or not, understanding that women will manipulate and use you is important to protect yourself.
Yep. We’ve all seen this pattern in human female behavior. They are wired up that way, as we are wired up to believe them.
The good news is we can use our rational minds to override our mating instincts. It is not easy, but it can be done.
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
@aitsu. If anything, arrival and acceptance of MGTOW is not – not ever – the result of ONE bad breakup…. or even ten. It doesn’t come from binge watching the videos, any amount of explaining, and actually you DONT have to be dragged through a divorce *personally*. I wasn’t. Don’t even bother putting too much thought into whether or not you should wear the hat.
It may be helpful to think of it like this:
A bad breakup is a knock DOWN for you. So in terms of integers, that’s a -1.
You now WORK to get yourself back to zero.Everyone here knows that a great part of a man’s life is constant struggle to STAY at 0. It’s one knock down after another. In fact, as long as a man isn’t in the negative integers, he may even be quite CONTENT! Not everything has to be going fantastic for him…. and a man is grateful for “nothing having gone wrong today”. He sees a real value in being content.
But MGTOW is a +1 for you. It has to be. You determine that staying in the negative range is no longer acceptable for you. Not ever. Not any more. You will not struggle or crawl to get to (or remain at) zero. Every move will only be a step UP for you and nobody will stop you. “I will not make efforts to crawl out of a sewer”. Even though he may be deep in the hole…. he’s not ever getting to that point again. So all effort, energy, time and investment will be to keep adding +1s to his own value and worth. It’s a positive investment directed at yourself.
Being hugely over-invested in some woman is a man’s mistake. (There’s a video on ONE-ITIS covering that exactly) But he doesn’t KNOW he’s making a mistake doing it. He thinks he’s doing everything he’s SUPPOSED to do . Its not your fault. It would be like being mad at yourself for believing in Santa when everyone around you, shopping malls, TV and your parents worked their asses off to make you believe in that s~~~.
Women demand too much f~~~ing time, attention and HUGE over investment for very little return and they ARE NOT WORTH IT. Even they know it deep down. But you don’t know this at the time.. So, when the very chick that once cried and complained “you don’t spend enough time with me!!!” now goes and f~~~s another dude the next day….. naturally you’re gonna think “WAIT!!! I GAVE HER WHAT SHE WANTED!!! I PAUSED MY OWN DREAMS, SAT THROUGH S~~~TY CHICK FLICKS, AND DID WHAT SHE WANTED, AND NOW SHE F~~~ED SOMEONE ELSE??? WTF!!!” So of course it’s gonna f~~~ you up.
But its not your fault and the scam is designed that way on purpose. She wanted you to be hugely over-invested so that her leaving is now a huge dramatic loss for you – when it really isn’t. Accepting there is no Santa is not devastating when you already know there is no Santa. It’s only devastating to kids because the LIE has been built up in their minds.
When women stray or leave, they want you to be as devastated as possible by it.
When you are NOT devastated by it, it is actually devastating to THEM.• “Why doesn’t he beg me to come back?”
• “Why doesn’t he come running after me!”
• “Why doesn’t he text or call?”
• “Why doesn’t he answer my emails”
• “How was he so suddenly able to live without me?”
• “Why doesn’t he pay any attention or speak to me anymore at all?”Well now……. why would he?????
Girlfriends and wives work their asses off to slowly separate men and husbands from their friends, hobbies, relations with other women, favorite pass-times, joys – and even family. This is to falsely elevate her meaning, importance and perceived value in his life. She doesn’t actually add value. She removes the OTHER things he values.
She demands constant attention. She doesn’t want him spending time with other women who may even be BETTER for him. She doesn’t want him hanging out with his buddies and denies him SuperBowl Sundays. He watches chick flicks instead of playing video games like he wants. She alienates him from his single/unmarried friends. Eventually, he will look around and think “but she’s all I have got”……“she’s the best thing that ever happened to me!” – when she really isn’t. She’s actually the WORST thing that ever happened to him.
He was in a better position before he met her.
It’s all a bunch of crap. So don’t beat yourself up too much. You couldn’t possibly know this going in. Women don’t WANT you to know this. That’s their whole game. When you’re hip to this game, they can’t place you below zero anymore. Their attempts to devastate you will fail because you know how women roll, and you will make sure that you never over-invest in a female again – no matter how much she begs you.
Ask yourself: How much value did she really ADD to your life?
Or were YOU the one adding value to HERS.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.
Anonymous42I’m willing to bet I’d commit to a women again once I’ve healed properly.
@Aitsi, I use to feel the same way, give it time, pick my self up, brush myself off, and fry again!
The emotional torment you’re feeling is the natural man’s pair bonding being severed, Its a force of nature you’ll need to understand and take control over. In time you’ll learn about the wayward drift modern women have achieved, and how the pair bonding is only a male’s default setting. Modern women would rather share their pair bonding for momentary satisfaction, they use this feminist initiated flaw in men to exploit men collectively to their fullest, a dollar from 100 men = $100.00, but a dollar from one man is still only a dollar. They don’t see the long road, they opt for immediate gratification to satisfy their narcissistic and self serving perversions of these laws of nature.
Welcome to MGTOW, this is where man becomes modified, reprogrammed, and reequipped to run in tiptop shape over this adverse and destructive scrimshaw, scratched into, and over natural law….
We’re the Geese that wised up and said F~~~ THIS!
Well most of the mgtow guys are just flat out permanent MGTOW, some like myself didn’t need a brutal break-up or something like that to go mgtow.I just watched the countless f~~~ed over dudes around me and said s~~~ i’m not going trough that.I don’t see mgtow as some recovery phase because i have nothing to recover from. And i have no plans to ever communicate with t~~~s again.
I think you’ve just had a bad break up and aren’t really mgtow.The sad thing is people like you have no place to go to for understanding in this f~~~ed up society and this place is pretty much the only one not filled with t~~~s that will blame and shame you for everything.
Next time might not be cheating, might not be lying, but it will be something that f~~~s up your world have no doubt. They will all do it eventually.
When it comes to women, I always remember Buford T’s words from Bandit 1….
“You can think about it, but don’t do it.”
"This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags. - Sheriff Buford T. Justice"
Pleasantly surprised how many responses I’ve gotten as a new user, didn’t think many would bother flipping through the Introductions section.
Also surprised at the variety within the responses as well. I’m guessing that may be in part from the existence of a kind of scale within MGTOW as far as each users personal interpretation or approach to how they treat it? Obviously I’m a brand new user so please correct me if wrong, I only picked up this idea from a brief mention of such from two of the Channel contributors. The idea being that some users take it as far as completely swearing off any type of relations~~~s or even developing platonic relationships with women, while at the other end of the scale some approach it as only writing off marriage or maybe even considering it under certain circumstances.If this kind of scale does in fact exist I’m quite impressed. I’d think that the more hard-nosed followers opting for the more extreme measures would push for a there to be a stricter definition of MGTOW and maybe even go as far as talk down to or badmouth the more casual interpreters suggesting they aren’t actually MGTOW. I haven’t scoped out the forums a ton yet but can easily see this happening (and have from past admin community experience). So instead if this kind of range/scale can in fact exist between how users approach their own MGTOW lifestyle within the same community without constantly debating the meta of it, I’m a little bit more sold on it! I’m probably diving into a huge topic within my intro thread but I’m curious as hell to hear about this.
But anyway thanks for all the replies guys. I will certainly give the community a fair shake, I just don’t see myself staying forever for whatever lame hopeless romantic reason I’ve held onto. As it stands though, I do not see myself dating or wanting to date for a long long time. Self-improvement and self-study all the way.Ask yourself: How much value did she really ADD to your life? Or were YOU the one adding value to HERS.
<p style=”transition: transform 1s ease 0s;”>Appreciated all the detail you went into KeyMaster. To briefly touch on just that portion of what you explained, I suppose she really was getting slightly more value out of the relationship looking back. I still have a very rough time admitting to her having any flaws but this is part of the one I’m willing to come to terms with. Along with the cheating, she burned through I think now two others guys and is moving onto a third currently in a very short span of time. So it seems she has a sort of need to be in a relationship at all times for whatever reason. So yeah, that clearly isn’t very healthy and makes me feel like I was only a type of placeholder and takes away the sincerity of the entire two years.</p>
Interestingly enough, I actually have more female friends than male friends at the moment and they’d slaughter me for even peeking here so maybe that’s another reason I’ve been hesitant. Female friends have offered me far more emotional support than any of my male friends have, yet I’ve seen so much help and support here from one MGTOW member to another despite us all being strangers. Maybe it’s because the competition factor is completely out of the picture and we are all just dudes…I’ll stop rambling. I could talk meta and group dynamics of communities for hours, but the real focus should be on supporting and contributing to the database of knowledge
Obviously I’m a brand new user so please correct me if wrong, I only picked up this idea from a brief mention of such from two of the Channel contributors. The idea being that some users take it as far as completely swearing off any type of relations~~~s or even developing platonic relationships with women, while at the other end of the scale some approach it as only writing off marriage or maybe even considering it under certain circumstances.
It’s a place for like-minded thinking along general terms, but we’re all individuals, and it makes for a broad spectrum of thought process. But yes, marriage is something I don’t think you’ll find being recommended by anyone here. It’s a trap in today’s society too easily manipulated by females.
Along with the cheating, she burned through I think now two others guys and is moving onto a third currently in a very short span of time. So it seems she has a sort of need to be in a relationship at all times for whatever reason. So yeah, that clearly isn’t very healthy and makes me feel like I was only a type of placeholder and takes away the sincerity of the entire two years
We refer to this as the c~~~ carousel. These aren’t remotely relationships. These are dicks to ride. Brutal truth bro. I been crushed before too.
Interestingly enough, I actually have more female friends than male friends at the moment and they’d slaughter me for even peeking here so maybe that’s another reason I’ve been hesitant. Female friends have offered me far more emotional support than any of my male friends have, yet I’ve seen so much help and support here from one MGTOW member to another despite us all being strangers. Maybe it’s because the competition factor is completely out of the picture and we are all just dudes
You shouldn’t need to fear what anyone might say about what you want to do for yourself. Doing what you know is good and healthy for you isn’t selfish, it’s just natural, and intelligent, showing self awareness and accountability. Doing things for yourself for the wrong reasons usually means you’re thinking with your dick.
And yeah…there’s no competition here. Just a band of brothers who all went their own ways.
Anonymous5The truth is hard to accept sometimes. Your whole life you have been told to worship females, never hit them, treat them with respect, treat them like they are princesses etc. You have been told they can do no wrong. They are “perfect”.
I know it is hard to let go. That you still want to believe that NAWALT….
But they are like that.
I know you want to believe that there HAS to be at least 1 female in the world who isn’t a golddigging gutterslut, but their isn’t. The ones who claim they are different and understand men, are liars.
At the very least, you now have more knowledge and will be more prepared next time you attempt another relations~~~. You can always embrace the red pill later on.
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