Should I let my parents help me financially with rent?

[hollowtipsParticipant 681]

So I just moved to a new city my parents want to help me land on me feet and do well. I’ve lived on my own in the past and feel a considerable amount of resentment towards them for not helping me out financially when I was starving, I’m currently doing pretty good and if I lean on using my credit card I should be fine after my first month once I pay the damage deposit and first/last months rent.

I would say I’m a very prideful person I don’t like accepting help from other people under ordinary circumstances especially as they didn’t help me when I really needed them. But they want to help out for 2-4 months in the area of 200$ a month. If I did take the money it would go directly into stocks, my rrsp or giving my business I’ve recently started extra fuel. I should also mention my grandpa recently passed away and I know they got some money from the will.

I’m 24 btw for reference, no degree yet, and some student loan debt since I dropped out.

[hollowtipsParticipant 681]

I forgot to share these 2 articles which I think in general are interesting to see that basically 3/4ths of millennial’s have been getting help while I haven’t. I kinda feel better when I see other kids with all new s~~~ all the time yet I never seem to be able to afford it.

https://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/pay-adult-childrens-debt-poll.php
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/budget-and-spending/2017/12/11/nearly-75-of-parents-help-their-adult-children-financially/108507432/

[joetechParticipant]

They probably want to make sure you don’t end up moving in with them. Parents always pride themselves on being able to still help their kids when they’re grown. I’d say, let them think you still need them and that you’ve matured enough to be grateful for the help. Then, do like you said and stick the money into some nice mutual funds. Then, if they ever mention getting paid back, you’ll have the money to do that. Is this a loan they’re offering you?

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Buller100Participant 2189]

Take it Why not , perhaps they wanted to go ‘succeed ‘ on your own a bit ..

[Anonymous 7]

Do you have a participation trophy?
A parents help is alwawys welcome.
You seem needy.

[MonkParticipant 16979]

hollowtips wrote:

… not helping me out financially when I was starving … […] … I should also mention my grandpa recently passed away and I know they got some money from the will.

The way I read that is that they wouldn’t have helped you out otherwise.

If they were already financially comfortable, that leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

I would be concerned about control issues. Personally, I would be inclined to try and avoid having them involved.

[DocParticipant]

Ask them if when they were your age if they received help from your grandparents.

If the answer is yes then take the money and see it as them simply passing onto you what they borrowed from their own parents.

If they didn’t get any help.
F~~~ it – take money anyway.

It’s not selfish. It’s been offered.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[TheSpiceParticipant 2644]

Always accept a parental handout.

If you have pride issues, set them aside. The money will help you and they’ll feel good about helping. Everyone wins.

"I've been thinking about what it would be like if we got back together."
"You know it's too late for that."

[BeerParticipant 11832]

If they are well off to the extent that whatever sum of money they want to give you isn’t any sort of burden to them, I’d just consider it a gift, say thanks, and be grateful.

I don’t know your whole story…maybe they just didn’t help you out in the past because they thought you were f~~~ing up…now they think you are getting your s~~~ together and don’t mind so much. I mean…if you were my kid and you dropped out of school because you were more interested in getting drunk and high and they just wanted you to realize bad choices as an adult lead to a s~~~ty quality of life, I wouldn’t have helped you at that point either. But like I said, I don’t know the whole story, maybe you dropped out to start your own business and your parent’s were just a bit more hard up for cash a few years ago…just throwing it out there…maybe they have a perspective as to why they didn’t help you before but are willing to now that you haven’t thought about.

[SuggestiusParticipant 3312]

You decide if you are the family or just relatives.

Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)

[chirParticipant]

Take the help. This will give you a chance to sock away money for savings. Just don’t spend it all on a tinder hookup. Think of your future.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[ResidentEvil7Participant 9541]

If it prevents you from starving, living cold and wet homeless, I’d take the money and be grateful.

https://themanszone.webs.com/

[BoBParticipant 823]

Honestly, I have a son about your age. When I can, I give him a “hundred dollar handshake”. He doesn’t ask for much and is super frugal. I like giving him something he can either play with or save.

If he asked for reasonable help, I would give it. If I just want him to have a bit of an easier time (and I agreed with what he was doing), I would find a way to do so.

If your folks thought you were screwing up, they wouldn’t offer. No matter if they helped or not in the past, they are giving you a boost. You should take it and pay it forward yourself someday.

My $.02.

[Y_Participant 4591]

A very wise man said to me once ‘Gifts are too expensive – I can’t afford them”

I agree 🙂

[ronnyquestParticipant 156]

Y_ wrote:

A very wise man said to me once ‘Gifts are too expensive – I can’t afford them”

I agree 🙂

This.

Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking! -- William Butler Yeats

[RomulusParticipant 4667]

hollowtips wrote:

So I just moved to a new city my parents want to help me land on me feet and do well. I’ve lived on my own in the past and feel a considerable amount of resentment towards them for not helping me out financially when I was starving, I’m currently doing pretty good and if I lean on using my credit card I should be fine after my first month once I pay the damage deposit and first/last months rent.
I would say I’m a very prideful person I don’t like accepting help from other people under ordinary circumstances especially as they didn’t help me when I really needed them. But they want to help out for 2-4 months in the area of 200$ a month. If I did take the money it would go directly into stocks, my rrsp or giving my business I’ve recently started extra fuel. I should also mention my grandpa recently passed away and I know they got some money from the will.
I’m 24 btw for reference, no degree yet, and some student loan debt since I dropped out.

I’m going to disagree with most the responses. Why take money from your parents that you don’t need?

You have a right to their money….for what reason? I missed that. Because they have it? Because they offered? They have money and want to give it to me, so I should take it.

My thinking, you’re 24, not living at home. Not in school. Time to finish growing up and pay your own way in the world. Unless its a survival situation, stand on your own two feet. That way you don’t own anybody anything.

Also, we had this exact question a few weeks or a month ago. Even down to the way the 200$ was presented.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

[Author]

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