Hello,
I must say it’s good to be in a place with like minded men. Something I’m not encountering very often at this time.
I’ll use this post to act as my introduction, and how it leads into divorve.
This post is somewhat long, so I appreciate your time.
First of all, I’m 24. Yes rather young I agree.
However, I’ve prediminantky been on the fence about marriage my whole life I watched my parents grow up being best friends who cared for each other, through each and every one of each other’s ups and downs. Something I realize now, is a truly remarkable thing.
As amazing as that was, I think it spoiled me and led me to believe that all marriages were like my parents.
I grew up in a very wealthy area of London, England called Westminster. My father is British and my mother is Canadian.
3 years ago I moved to the U.S. on an exceptional talent visa. I was a professional athlete in England and was recruited to play profrssional american football due to my size 6’10” 375 pounds. To my dismay I found out that because I did not play college ball in the states I would have to wait until I was 23 or potentially 24 to play in the league. I had a rather large amount of money saved up from my previous career so it wasn’t too much of a big deal. This year some of you may see me in the NFL, depending on if in granted the ability to play.
At the beginning of my stay I met my now wife, a truly stunning woman, with more passion for life than I’ve ever seen before. Driven and dedicated to success. We shared the same philosophies on life in every way, especially when it came to marriage and kids. We both were open to marriage but not kids because we were both far too passionate about other things that it would be unfair to bring a child into this world knowing we wouldn’t have time for it.
We had an amazing two years and then this past September we got married. Happiest day of both our lives.
Then things became a bit sour. I found out I lost my 5 year renewable visa because of being married. So my only option was to file for a green card via marriage to her. Meaning overnight I just became completely dependent on her if I was to stay in the country. She doesn’t cooperate I get deported. As many of you already know, women do not do well with being given power. As such, overnight I bevame her slave, in her mind.
Things changed fast and furiously. She never had a drinking problem, became an alcoholic. Never did drugs, became an addict. Went from wanting sex constantly to never unless she wanted it.
However, surprisingly she still maintained her razor sharp focus at work every day after drinking hard every night and even through all her drinking and horrible eating habits didn’t gain a pound and still looked incredible. This gave her a god complex. She could do and say as she pleased and I had to go along with it or get deported.
I’m not sure if any of you are familiar with immigration law, but it is severely draconian. If you do not live together, deported. If you get mail to another address, deported. If she doesn’t show up to the interview, deported. Steal .50 cents off a parsley stem at the grocery store, deported. So needless to say she had me by the b~~~~.
Fast forward to around March of this year her parents staged an intervention and we managed to get her back on track, things between us went more or less back to normal…for one month.
The previous year we met with a pregnancy specialist who told my soon to ne wife the bad, but good news to us, sge has a malformed uterus, fibroid tumors and a bad urethral canal. So getting pregnant is literally one in ten million.
Well fast forward to March of this year we have sex once, while she is religiously on birth control and she gets pregnant.
At first her response was to break out crying because she doesn’t want to be a mom under any circumstances and has to many goals in life. I say ok abortion (which we agreed upon if she ever got pregnant) she says now that she doesn’t believe in abortion, I say ok adoption she says ok to that. Next day she has changed her mind and she is now keeping the baby and giving up all hopes, dreams and desires to take care of it. I know most people would say good for her! But there’s something very strange here, this is not the woman I married. She even says that she’s willing to be a single mother and do it, again a huge red flag because I know her and she’s rather die than take care of someone else 24/7.
Me personally I have been, and always will be against me having a child. I do not want one under any circumstances and it is a shame that the man has no say in it.
I’ve told her that I will have nothing to do with the child and she will be on her own, and that realistically it will be very tough for her. Now, I give her $4,000 a month. I know ridiculous, but I didn’t mind when things were different. That is a huge difference in her life, and she needs me to give her that, and I need her to stay here. She knows this. We also live in a state that has a maximum child support amount of just over $1,000 a month.
All of my money is not in my name, it never has been, including my previous salaries. It was all paid to my father, with whom I am not a joint account holder. It is technically his money, and he transfers me his money but it’s actuakky mine. So technically I have no income, no wealth, no investments, nothing. It all belongs to my dad. A wise man, as he said in the future I will thank him. I believe she will actually owe me something if we divorve. As to my potential future earnings in the NFL I will be safe guarded by the state maximum child support guideline. I would like to add that I most likely will contribute to its well being, but I made it clear from day one I will not have any children.
So my underlying question is, how do I handle living with her now as she has gone back ti treating me like dirt, because of me trying to hold her accountable for a promise we made to each other about children and the fact that we won’t stall our dreams.
Thank you for reading, and I understand I msy get some flack for not waiting to be a parent, but it is cruel and unusual that the woman gets to decide whether the baby is born or not and the man is on the hook.
Ocean's 14th 4 years, 10 months ago.
