Seeing my brother enslaved on my 23rd b-day

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

My brother is in misery with his dreadful girlfriend of 8 years. Worst of all he consents to his torture.

Yesterday was my 23rd birthday. Another cold reminder of an eventual demise that we celebrate with loved ones. I decided to visit my mother and vent some things on her. She is pessimistic and solitary as I. A wgtow in her own right. She said we would only have an hour to talk because my brother’s gf, Ho, said she and my bro were going to be there tonight even though I said last week on the phone that Sunday would work better. She didn’t give a s~~~ about my opinion even though it was my bday in question. Typical.

Hoe “let” me decide where we were going to have dinner. There was a moment when she was discussing a European vacation she went on last month…alone. I saw my brother’s face as she yammered. For 5 or 6 seconds I saw a look of disgust, and mistrust in what she was saying. It was so sad.

The dude is trapped. He has to have her validation before making any decisions. She is extremely passive aggressive to me and good at it to. A master of manipulation. I know he knows this. He looks at me after every hit as if he is watching a building collapse from a distance and it’s out of his control.

She doesn’t let my bro and I have a second alone. They share a phone. Our bond is gone. He is gone. He is her slave.

Now, I sit alone at 4:30 am, in a seedy motel room writing this on my generic smartphone. Johnny Cash’s version of “Solitary Man” plays in the background. The smell of burning, black coffee fills the cramped room. My ex girlfriend just sent me a Facebook IM about how my breaking up with her gave her the courage to kick her ex out of her house. Funny. I see the bulls~~~.

Relationships with women are no good. Guaranteed misery. This all hurts very much but… I don’t weep. Not one tear because f~~~ them.

The world is a cold, hard place and we only have ourselves. It is better to physically be alone than dependent on females feeling alone.

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[TriviumParticipant 1029]

I am still trying to figure out why I staid with the same women for 14 years even though she restricted my movement, chased away all my friend and by the end even had list of words I wasn’t allowed to use, stuff I wasn’t allowed to watch and games I couldn’t play.

Maybe there is a way to just make people snap out of it but I’ve been looking and I can’t find a definitive answer. I know the type of guys you speak off, they are all around us, I was one of them and only ripping my heart out and laughing about it really seemed to help.

I sympathize but I think you’re just going to have to let it go and expect it to end in tears.

"Listen to all, Follow none"

[Anonymous 6]

An ongoing 8 year relations~~~? Surprised she hasn’t tried to get her claws into your brother further with marriage or getting pregnant.

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

Trivium wrote:

I am still trying to figure out why I staid with the same women for 14 years even though she restricted my movement, chased away all my friend and by the end even had list of words I wasn’t allowed to use, stuff I wasn’t allowed to watch and games I couldn’t play.

Maybe there is a way to just make people snap out of it but I’ve been looking and I can’t find a definitive answer. I know the type of guys you speak off, they are all around us, I was one of them and only ripping my heart out and laughing about it really seemed to help.

I sympathize but I think you’re just going to have to let it go and expect it to end in tears.

I have the unsettling feeling that he is going to stick it out with her until the end. My big bro has had 3 relationships. The other 2 women cheated on him. He is damaged and clinging onto her like a cliffhanger.

F~~~ there was a Key and Peel comedy skit on the bar`s TV that was like 10 years old. I remember him laughing to tears at it when I was a child. Last night he shook his head and said it was “offensive” and that it shouldn’t be on TV. Hoe nodded in agreement. He has become her and may be too far gone.

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[ConstantineParticipant 4420]

First off dude, happy belated birthday. Hope that you at least got some decent presents out of it, in spite of the misery.

Sorry about your brother, that sounds like hell. Is he older or younger than you? If younger, at least he still has time – but then eight years is a pretty lengthy period to hang in there. If he hasn’t learned by now, he may have trouble. Keep an eye on him wherever you can, because after that stretch of dating, she may start speaking in the wanting-a-proposal-tone any day now.

007 (Reborn) wrote:

Now, I sit alone at 4:30 am, in a seedy motel room writing this on my generic smartphone. Johnny Cash’s version of “Solitary Man” plays in the background. The smell of burning, black coffee fills the cramped room.

Nicely put. You a writer? ‘Cause that sounds like the opening of a novel, and one that i’d read at that.

007 (Reborn) wrote:

My ex girlfriend just sent me a Facebook IM about how my breaking up with her gave her the courage to kick her ex out of her house.

Bit rich. I take it that you broke up with her because she wasn’t a pleasant person? Then the more likely story about her “courage” would be the s~~~load of resentment that she never got a chance to unleash on you, and accordingly acted out the break-up (as she saw it) on this other guy.

To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle. -Orwell

[Buller100Participant 2189]

Happy birthday, I like you have seen damaged guys hang on to a women totally unsuitable , as if any are.

Why do they choose misery and paying for misery ?

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

Constantine wrote:

First off dude, happy belated birthday. Hope that you at least got some decent presents out of it, in spite of the misery.

Sorry about your brother, that sounds like hell. Is he older or younger than you? If younger, at least he still has time – but then eight years is a pretty lengthy period to hang in there. If he hasn’t learned by now, he may have trouble. Keep an eye on him wherever you can, because after that stretch of dating, she may start speaking in the wanting-a-proposal-tone any day now.

007 wrote:

Now, I sit alone at 4:30 am, in a seedy motel room writing this on my generic smartphone. Johnny Cash’s version of “Solitary Man” plays in the background. The smell of burning, black coffee fills the cramped room.

Nicely put. You a writer? ‘Cause that sounds like the opening of a novel, and one that i’d read at that.

007 wrote:

My ex girlfriend just sent me a Facebook IM about how my breaking up with her gave her the courage to kick her ex out of her house.

Bit rich. I take it that you broke up with her because she wasn’t a pleasant person? Then the more likely story about her “courage” would be the s~~~load of resentment that she never got a chance to unleash on you, and accordingly acted out the break-up (as she saw it) on this other guy.

Sadly he is 42 years old. She likely is putting marriage and children pressure on him. He’s already on the iron forge funding vacation s for them 2 to 3 times a year.

Yes I broke it off with her because of dishonesty and malice. She kept her ex in a trailer behind her house. Broke down his self esteem and made him completely dependent on her. Now it is winter and she is kicking this broken man to the curb. Truly evil. She reminds me of Buffalo Bill from Silence of The Lambs. Now she thinks that I’ll take her back because he`s out of the picture. Quite the contrary. She sees me as her next victim.

I’m not putting the lotion on the skin!

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[anonymousyamParticipant 4605]

007 (Reborn) wrote:

Sadly he is 42 years old. She likely is putting marriage and children pressure on him. He’s already on the iron forge funding vacation s for them 2 to 3 times a year.

He appears to be pretty much f~~~ed right now when it comes to your options you could just tell him she is a c~~~ and to dump her but that will alleniate you from the families of the c~~~ and your own. Or you can just wait till after he decides to have enough and be there for him after he wakes up assuming he will wake up. But right now it is bad for him and it must be depressing to see the brother you probably love being trapped like that.

Personally for me learning more examples from you guys and other guys over the internet has helped me avoid s~~~ like this in my life and there is no way that i am ever getting into any long term relationship where i do not put myself first and my happiness above that of a bitch.

Mgtow has taught me that a life lived for yourself is far better then a life sacrificed for others and it is better live as a lion for a day then a sheep for a hundred years (i know where this quote comes from). So even if the BS propaganda turns out to be correct in stating married men live longer i am fully content with my life no matter how short or long it will be as long as i went my own way in the process of it.

It is better to spend 30/40/50/60 years as a free man (any man not married) then it is to spend 70/80/90/100/110 as a slave.

Just an east coast asshole who likes to curse, If you get offended by words like fuck, cunt, shit, piss, bitch or any racial slurs then you just scroll down.

[Bestieboy666Participant 2358]

Happy birthday bro. Luckily I’ve been out of relationships for 15 years but I have been is similar positions in the past. Hopefully your brother will eventually see you as a role model and truly see how miserable his life is. Try to always look confident and happy when you’re around him. It’s important to make him see what he’s missing out on.

Women are so bad, if they changed the law so I kept the house, I still wouldn't marry one. I'd rather be homeless.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

Happy Birthday 007. Congrats on your continued break from the toxic wench that you hit when you fell off the wagon.

Your brother has made it through 42 years of life while suffering through 3 relationships, two that culminated in cheating and his current one that has him totally bitch-brained. Since you can’t get him alone it better to leave him to his own devices.

He’ll either wind up marrying the ho after making it to the point where the big head should be doing the thinking, or you’ll be able to guide him here when he comes to his senses. If he hasn’t married her after 8 years together then also consider maybe you aren’t giving him quite enough credit. Some of the more idiotic blue pills can cram three divorces into that timeframe.

Whatever happens with him, choose your course and stay away from future girls with the backstory that your most recent one brought along for the ride.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[joetechParticipant]

Happy birthday. My brother married and divorced a Greek witch. She started to act like I was her ex instead. Once she even called and wanted my minivan because she needed one and I didn’t. Do you believe that? If possible I would divorce myself from that family if I were you. But, people do crazy things for crazy reasons. My own situation is all f~~~ed up, but I walked into it, and it’s up to me to get myself out of it. I’m working on it. Your brother sounds like friends I’ve had and watched get ruined. It’s a hard thing to watch. It’s even harder to deal with if you’re in the middle. It’s up to him to stand up for himself. Is he a member on the forums…probably not. She’d find out, I’ll bet. Live your life well, and be a role model for him. That’s the best you can do.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Anonymous 43]

the tough part of yer bro’s deal is he thinks she is his last chance at a good relationship
at age 42 she knows this is the best she is going to get. she has spent 8 years trying to nail yer bro down and cant seal the deal. she is out of time.

you cant bend him to your will or the obvious truth. she has not hit his limit, and his capacity for absorbing bulls~~~ must be high.

it is not a badge of honor absorbing punishment like this. I have found it is a sign of weakness to put up with bulls~~~. there is no shame in getting out of this kind of abuse. it will continue to get worse.

I thought I was strong enough to put up with my ex c~~~’s bs until one day I sat in the backyard with a can of gas and a lighter looking up at the clouds wondering what the f~~~ happened to the sweet caring person I married any why was every little thing I wanted crushed, and every stupit thing she wanted granted then cast aside after she was bored with it. why was it ok for her take the the kids college money and buy a fukn $30,000 mustang when I get crucified for buying a donut and coffee with out telling her.

I gave up my dreams for the safety and security of not being alone. I invested time and cash into her, and this is what I get in return, f~~~. she stabbed me with a serving fork ffs broke my hand and I was still with her because I had no where else to go, no other options. I stayed to protect my children from this bitch.

someday yer bro will have this same kind of moment. I couldn’t tell anyone I was miserable, let alone suicidal. I’ve been in 3 big relationships, and in all three I ended up in the same place, once holding a knife to my wrist I have a scar where I started to cut, the second time driving a car at 100 miles an hour going through the back roads of DeKalb county Illinois hoping to crash into the back of a massive tractor and the third time, my red mower gas can.

the frustration of not seeing an answer to the question…why is this person I love kicking me in the b~~~~ all the time? will eat him alive. there will be a frantic day when he cant figure out what random thing she wants and does a thousand random things. heres a glass or water, here is the tv remote, ill put this pillow over here, ill make breakfast lunch and dinner right now, here are your shoes, and another pair of shoes, here is a book, here is a pencil…I cant read your mind, I cant make you happy

the worst will be working triple hard to keep her happy. doing more, faster, better longer hours, two jobs, three jobs

then it is over, nothing worked. he will do exactly what she wants, and it will never be enough.

this was the road I went down, yer bro is not far behind. the s~~~ty divorce I went thru saved my life. moving 1000 miles away from her and the kids saved my life. investing in myself an a new career saved my life.

luckily for yer bro, he is not married, not subject to state enforced eviction incarceration and long term extortion like I am. I would trade literally anything to be free of the marriage license I signed on December 18, 1998. my most precious possession is the divorce decree dated June 25, 2010. someday, I will get a document from the extortion and confiscation unit saying I no longer owe child support, on May 7, 2020.

good luck amigo…

[VarunParticipant 2981]

Hmm. He just buys into the whole “happy family with wife and child” but its probably better to just leave him alone….. just so you can be there when he really needs you.

If it helps, you can tell him something like “My god! You’ve changed. She’s changed you.” Gets a man thinking.

But unless he learns it for himself, there are hardly any options. Best to leave them alone.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

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