Relationship with her kids

[StealthParticipant 5335]

I became attached to my ex-gf’s kids while dating her a few years ago. The mother is toxic (check my reply to “The Craziest Woman You’ve Dated”) but the kids are to me still some of the greatest people in the world. Long story short, big drama and everyone moved away except the oldest daughter who is now in college near where I live.

Circumstances happened so that I met up with her, and we caught up. I felt how I imagine fathers feel when reunited with their biological kids after periods of separation. If there is such a thing as a paternal instinct, mine is strong with her and her siblings. I invested in her life a bit, secretly think of her like my own daughter, and I am proud of what she is doing with her life.

My instinct is 1000% to continue to position myself as sort of an uncle for her, someone nearby if she ever needs anything, I suppose really her temporary father.

I realize I am not her father. I am her mom’s ex boyfriend. But I was part of the family at one time and left only because her mother went insane. I want to help her out with stuff–fixing her car, practical advice for things, put her up at my house if needed during school breaks, etc.

It all sounds very white knight. But is it different for parents? I like the idea of helping these kids out if I can. We’ve both endured their mother and have lots of shared experiences. I don’t have kids of my own but honestly I can’t imagine loving my own kids any more. Which technically speaking sounds cucky. They are just wonderful people…where I’d say most kids are not. The mom is out of town and so is not an immediate problem.

What do you guys think. I’ve acknowledged some theoretical issues with doing so, but staying in contact with these kids and investing in their lives when nobody is looking is something I think I would look back on and always be glad I did. I know I had others invest in me along the way, and I’d be paying it forward.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Do you brother. If it feels right, then do it. Being there for other people is rarely the wrong thing to do. Until they prove themselves unworthy. I’m all for paying it forward.

Order the good wine

[AttonParticipant]

The kids are worth it.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[StealthParticipant 5335]

Thank you.

Redpillbible, no. Strictly good.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[Anonymous 4]

The road to hell
is paved with good
intentions. I won’t
question your motivation but be
aware of the position you’re in.
Even looking from
the outside it just
doesn’t look good
no matter what angle you take.
Woody Allen is an
example not to follow.

[MonkParticipant 16988]

It’s a female. AWALT.

All it will take is for you to disagree, or for you to say No when she wants something. Then it’s THAT phone call and you are the PERVERT UNCLE.

It’s not just her either, what if her mother hears of it and chooses to make an allegation?

What of the influence of her smartphone trash friends?

If you still want to help out, then at least keep her at arms length. Allowing her to stay over in the house is just asking for trouble.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

It sounds like you’ve thought it over and accepted the risks. Keep in mind that even biological children can be investments or sinkholes, you have to establish boundaries and enforce them if pushed.

These kids sound important to you, and the one in your town sounds like she’s over 18. When dealing with an adult woman remember the rules. Don’t let your fondness for the family result in allowing yourself to be abused, but it sounds like a good way to pay it forward.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[jimbob15217Participant 491]

If it’s folly to provide for another man’s child when you’re involved with the child’s mother, what should we call it when you’re not involved with the child’s mother? Let her family fill the familial roles. You’re not the lamb of God, taking on the sins of others.

[PuniShredderParticipant 2268]

As a step dad I can say that I believe you are only setting yourself up for pain. When you break up with the GF or wife you break up with their kids as well unless they are consenting adults and you really have a good connection. Then do what you want but I think your situation is only going to cause you pain. Sorry man.

Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

[StealthParticipant 5335]

Thanks for the feedback from both sides.
Her children are great people,
But I see how maintaining would keep me connected to their mom, which I do not want to do.
Letting go of the kids has been the slowest part.
Also my first time in this situation.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22515]

I think everything except putting her up in your place. I think that is an extremely bad nad terrible idea. For a very large number of reasons that land you in jail one way or the other.

I think if you think about it you will find the kinds of reasons I am talking about.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Author]

Posts