Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Red Pill taking its toll
This topic contains 17 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by 
LonerBoner 3 years, 7 months ago.
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Before I get to the topic, Id like to say I am not exactly MGTOW. I dont like labels too much. People start making assumptions.
MGTOW opened my eyes to how women are. I used to blame them for my problems before MGTOW. Now I get any girl I want, with almost no trouble and I dont blame them for being the way they are. I just know the way they are.
And there lies the problem. I dont like to be alone. My subconscious keeps fighting my rational thinking and reminding me how awesome it is to have a girl.
Its been 7 years since my last girlfriend, and about 5 since I almost cut almost all forms of erectionships with women.While I have been able to learn a great deal of things I always wanted to know, I still feel like I need someone by my side (dates and going out helps thou, its just not enough).
And its getting worse. To the point when I am starting to think about my ex.I used to have the discipline to keep this s~~~ out, but sometimes (especially after an emotional dream) it overwhelms me.
Any ideas how to balance it out? I dont want to go back to purple or blue pill (I might be a bit desperate, but not suicidal), but the red pill alone is starting to take its toll on me.Bare in mind I know that rationally I should not care at all and keep women far from me, as it is better for me in almost every single aspect, but my mamal/reptilian brain keeps fighting it.
Anonymous42That s~~~ used to effect me for years, like a magnetic draw wherever I was, sometimes I would make eye contact with a really nice looking woman and some “magic” was there, all I could think of is how much trouble lies behind those willing eyes.
Then the encounter would stick in my mind, but all the s~~~ going on around me like my friends getting dragged down the tubes made it easier and easier to see right through them no matter how pleasant they are or act.
The sexual revolution and feminism has a long trail of destroyed men behind it, and with those men came the lessons I learned.
Lesson 1. Marriage is a hoax, it doesn’t last forever, I understood this at age 12.
Lesson 2. Feminists hate men and boys. I went to psychological warfare with a feminist c~~~ teacher. Every time I was in her class it was time to watch the clock from hell, one hour, I watched every f~~~ing minute! I would doodle instead of doing work just to p~~~ her off! Every grade she gave me was an F (failed) while over in science my grade was B, my teacher a man, I don’t even remember a clock? I missed more than half the year skipping what was public school, racial, gender, and gynocentric hell. Oh, straight A’s and A+ throughout my entire education.
and that feminist c~~~ teacher? We attacked her classroom windows with carpenter aprons full of rocks, the class was moved to the auditorium on Monday morning while the janitors cleaned up all rocks and broken glass, it took the glass guys all day to replace all the panes.
I knew not to say a f~~~ing word! I never told ANYONE it was me.brother, that red pill knowledge will keep you;
out of JAIL
out of DEBT
out of the CEMETARY
out of a legally binding CONTRACT
out of COURT ROOMS
out of HEALTH CLINICS
so please,
forget the ex.
she’s an ex for a reason.
remember those reasons and do NOT go back.
focus on yourself and making money in a career,
throw your energy into work and/or school.
pussy addiction is tough to break but it CAN be done.
jerk off daily and then focus on YOU !It takes time to realise that that leech is using anesthetic to fool your senses.
One day you will feel the blood loss and then you will try and remove her.
Only to find the thousands of teeth buried in your flesh.
Just give it time.
Worry not about the ex (it very rarely happens that I think of her, mostly after dreaming and unfortunately I dont control that).
Last time I saw here I realized how much of a fool I have been. Not because I wanted her or because I was with her, but because:
A) I knew when I met her that it had an expiration date, so I can only blame myself for getting invested in it.
B)She did me a favor by leaving me because she is a c~~~. (Hate to admit it but she is).I jerk off twice a day and I do exercise. I cast online tournaments for my favorite game and I read about 3 books a week.
Most of the time these things are not a problem, but when they are, they hit hard.
I know about those things Hitman, my problem is to make the rational decision instead of the emotional one (by emotional I mean what I “want” instead of what I “Know is good for me”).Thats my struggle. I want to meet girls and f~~~ them, I know I should stay as far from them as possible.
You know, CatsPaw, this is something I am struggling with mightily as well. My father, uncle, and brother are all under the same spell (as am I to some extent)—-that I am not a “real” man if I don’t have a woman by my side at all times. But what they all have in common is this: they are ALL pussified and do whatever their wives want them to do without question. My brother is a prime example. His wife is obese, unhealthy, ugly as all get-out, and domineering and bossy. She interrupts him and cuts him off mid-sentence because she believes he is not intellectually competent enough to formulate his own thoughts. She sits around and complains about her physical condition on FB, while he works his ass off and takes about 15 credit hours of classes a week.
Yet, despite all this, he says he loves her and will never divorce her. She is just like our mother, but he just loves it. She is just like our stepmother, but he just loves it. He won’t take no guff from either of those two women, but he’ll take all the guff he can possibly take from the ol’ ball-and-chain. It’s disgusting and disheartening to say the very least. My dad is pretty much the same in his attitude and behavior towards my stepmother. He follows her lead in pretty much everything.
I have been fighting this anger/envy/jealousy towards couples while trying my hardest to develop a “don’t give a f~~~” mentality, and it is a mental clusterf~~~. I am trying so hard to embrace MGTOW, but it is difficult. But, I say, EMBRACE THE DIFFICULTY and drive through it like a motherf~~~er. Take your shots like a man and work through the emotions. Believe you me, I would rather feel those feelings and stew over them for a little bit then be caught in something I can’t get out of.
Maybe one day we’ll have a society where women act more like women again and embrace more traditional ways of interacting with men as in foreign cultures. But FOR NOW, we need to define and work on OURSELVES. But even if that culture never arrives, we will at least pass on knowing we made an effort to change ourselves for the better.
Cat’s Paw. First, thank you for your candor. I’m pretty sure a lot of guys on this site struggle, or have struggled with similar issues.
What helped me was learning to think objectively instead of subjectively. The objective thinker uses reason, logic, judgement, conscience, and an understanding of natural law [e.g. laws of science, nature, health, liberty, etc]. This is the masculine thought process. The subjective thinker uses feelings, desires, emotions, hyperbole, and magical thought processes [e.g. “If I wish for it, it will happen.”]. This is the feminine thought process, and sometimes infects men’s minds, but needs to be eradicated.PS: @snake. Sorry if this sounds like an echo chamber.
When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.
My subconscious keeps fighting my rational thinking and reminding me how awesome it is to have a girl.
You really think girlfriends are awesome?
How about visiting a sex worker to address your loneliness (girlfriend experience)? It’s a substitute with all the fun and none of the BS.
Some other ideas..
Perhaps you’d benefit from the Buddhist practice of loving kindness, wherein you wish for people you know friends, randoms, people you don’t like, the world etc happiness and freedom from suffering. I think the salient part of ‘love’ is having a strong desire for the well-being for the ones we care about so this practice fits there nicely. If you want to overcome a desire the best way is to obtain pleasure something else.
Furthermore you could consider reading Buddhist or other philosophy as it will help ease your suffering and help give you context in life.
Another thing to experiment with is how often you masturbate. You may find you feel less lonely if your not giving yourself dopamine highs as often. I personally find that my mood goes into the dumps if I jerk off more than twice a week. In fact, I remember being an emotional sook when I used to get a lot of sex from my ex partner.
For me being in a relationship made me feel lonelier than I ever have being single.
Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman
Before I get to the topic, Id like to say I am not exactly MGTOW. I dont like labels too much. People start making assumptions.
MGTOW isn’t a label.
MGTOW is a description.
There’s a difference. Calling a dog a Chesapeake Retreiver is labeling it. But calling the same dog a brown dog is just describing it. You are a MGHOW because you are Going Your Own Way, not the other way around.
Maybe the fact you don’t like labels has something to do with why you aren’t a full MGTOW and are not ENJOYING the red pill. I know it’s often a hard pill to swallow but for me it doesn’t take a toll; it liberates.
Take the red pill, swallow the label, be slick, efficient and take no half measures; commit to it in name and in life!… if you can.
I couldn’t go all the way right away, but I will inevitably now.
I did some digging around and found some info on ‘equanimity’ and it reminded me of how mindfulness and using visualizations can help one detach from thoughts and emotions.
Here’s the link: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/equanimity___mindfulness.html
Reading this article reminded me of visualizations I’ve practiced myself before.
For example: Picture a mountain in each season and weather type. Despite snow, thunderstorms, bushfires, spring or summer the mountain remains where it is and continues to exist. This is symbolic of you and your emotions and thoughts. They are transient. Fear, sadness, anger and happiness are all transient and are lenses that add bias to what we see in reality.
Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman
Another thing I want to add, the MGTOW way was always my foundation, it just got warped along the way by f~~~ed up “moral” rules and arseholes and c~~~s in society who basically tell you that bad is good and good is bad. I’ve always been a mgtow, I just got roped into a con. Now It’s time to take the full measure and be what I’ve always known I was deep down- happier alone.
Before I get to the topic, Id like to say I am not exactly MGTOW. I dont like labels too much. People start making assumptions.
MGTOW isn’t a label.
MGTOW is a description.
There’s a difference. Calling a dog a Chesapeake Retreiver is labeling it. But calling the same dog a brown dog is just describing it. You are a MGHOW because you are Going Your Own Way, not the other way around.
Its what you think it is.
What I mean is that I can think its a description and someone else might think/use it as a label. I dont like being associated with certain actions that I might not exactly be supportive of just because someone else calling themselves MGTOW does (its not even that I care about people thinking that about me, but there are real life consequences).My subconscious keeps fighting my rational thinking and reminding me how awesome it is to have a girl.
You really think girlfriends are awesome?
How about visiting a sex worker to address your loneliness (girlfriend experience)? It’s a substitute with all the fun and none of the BS.
Some other ideas..
Perhaps you’d benefit from the Buddhist practice of loving kindness, wherein you wish for people you know friends, randoms, people you don’t like, the world etc happiness and freedom from suffering. I think the salient part of ‘love’ is having a strong desire for the well-being for the ones we care about so this practice fits there nicely. If you want to overcome a desire the best way is to obtain pleasure something else.
Furthermore you could consider reading Buddhist or other philosophy as it will help ease your suffering and help give you context in life.
Another thing to experiment with is how often you masturbate. You may find you feel less lonely if your not giving yourself dopamine highs as often. I personally find that my mood goes into the dumps if I jerk off more than twice a week. In fact, I remember being an emotional sook when I used to get a lot of sex from my ex partner.
For me being in a relationship made me feel lonelier than I ever have being single.
Awesome in terms of sexual gratification, not much more to be honest.
I dont think they are awesome, but my subconscious definitely does.You know, CatsPaw, this is something I am struggling with mightily as well. My father, uncle, and brother are all under the same spell (as am I to some extent)—-that I am not a “real” man if I don’t have a woman by my side at all times. But what they all have in common is this: they are ALL pussified and do whatever their wives want them to do without question. My brother is a prime example. His wife is obese, unhealthy, ugly as all get-out, and domineering and bossy. She interrupts him and cuts him off mid-sentence because she believes he is not intellectually competent enough to formulate his own thoughts. She sits around and complains about her physical condition on FB, while he works his ass off and takes about 15 credit hours of classes a week.
Yet, despite all this, he says he loves her and will never divorce her. She is just like our mother, but he just loves it. She is just like our stepmother, but he just loves it. He won’t take no guff from either of those two women, but he’ll take all the guff he can possibly take from the ol’ ball-and-chain. It’s disgusting and disheartening to say the very least. My dad is pretty much the same in his attitude and behavior towards my stepmother. He follows her lead in pretty much everything.
I have been fighting this anger/envy/jealousy towards couples while trying my hardest to develop a “don’t give a f~~~” mentality, and it is a mental clusterf~~~. I am trying so hard to embrace MGTOW, but it is difficult. But, I say, EMBRACE THE DIFFICULTY and drive through it like a motherf~~~er. Take your shots like a man and work through the emotions. Believe you me, I would rather feel those feelings and stew over them for a little bit then be caught in something I can’t get out of.
Maybe one day we’ll have a society where women act more like women again and embrace more traditional ways of interacting with men as in foreign cultures. But FOR NOW, we need to define and work on OURSELVES. But even if that culture never arrives, we will at least pass on knowing we made an effort to change ourselves for the better.
I never thought of it as a challenge to be honest.
In terms of being bossed around and so on, this is something that strangely never happened to me.
Even when I did have a GF, we rarely argued and when she did, she talked to a wall because I would simply leave the room.
It was an interesting dynamic now that I think of it…And yes, she was right, It was all about Sex. She was not smart, good, interesting, funny or anything else.
She was just hot. Thats sort of my point. The more I stay on the red pill, the more I feel I want them back…okay so here’s my psychological analysis, take it or leave it, I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just rambling possibilities and proposing a hypothesis to think about;
I dont like being associated with certain actions that I might not exactly be supportive of just because someone else calling themselves MGTOW does (its not even that I care about people thinking that about me, but there are real life consequences).
You have a fear of commitment based in being tarred with the same brush because you kind of put other people in the “right” category if others think they are an accurate representation of something but f~~~ what people think -> that’s Going Your Own Way. So what if someone else does something stupid, that’s them, let people think what they think, you know who you really are; If you’re so dependent on other people who don’t really know you and make their decisions based in hearsay and opinions about a group, then you don’t need to avoid committing to something which could “make you look bad”- you need to re-evaluate who you have in your life.
If the people in your life who matter are not looking at you as an individual, then they are hindering you going your own way because they are expecting you to be a sheep in a herd, and people’s expectations of us are the surest road map to our future.And yes, she was right, It was all about Sex. She was not smart, good, interesting, funny or anything else.
She was just hot. Thats sort of my point. The more I stay on the red pill, the more I feel I want them back…So what the f~~~ are you doing? Are you conforming to what you think MGTOW is? Or are you really going your own way? You want to get a girl, fine, go for it, there’s a lot of good reasons not to- the system is stacked against you making it a risky gamble, but go your OWN way.
I can’t shake this impression that you’ve made MGTOW into this external set of rules to conform to. Then when you do- you’re a MGTOW and everyone in that group is all about the same stuff so if they do something bad it reflects directly on you- but it doesn’t, I know that rationally you don’t think that, but maybe it’s your underlying subconscious paradigm.
You even said, your lizard brain is fighting your rational brain, maybe it’s not only fighting for women but also fighting against Going Your Own Way? It’s weapon may be a core belief you are unaware of, which conflicts directly with individualism, which is why you can’t fully go your own way.And there lies the problem. I dont like to be alone.
Get a dog or 2. They’re the best companions ever. For sexual needs, buy some fleshlights.
If you need social interaction or friends, try and go to different groups around town that you’re interested in.
Start exercising at least 3 times a day. Ignore women and acquire money.
This is what I’m doing.
In my blue pill years, all I wanted to do was f~~~ as many women as possible. Now, sex doesn’t interest me at all. And I have more free time in doing things I want to do.
Once you have a Fleshlight real vaginas become worthless.
And there lies the problem. I dont like to be alone. My subconscious keeps fighting my rational thinking and reminding me how awesome it is to have a girl.
I have the same problem, i feel it to bro. I have days when all i focus on is searhing for that fix from a girl who sees me.
Sometimes ill get into a relationship and after a while i know its wrong, im bored and looking for an out again. Its terrible! When im alone i miss them, when im with them i want to be alone.PS there is no way you can persuade med that a fleshlight can substitute sex, no way! I f~~~ing love sex.
And yes i do masturbate daily to keep my focus on other more important s~~~.Keep clam i'm dyslexic.
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