Thanks, everyone.
One of the reasons I ended up with custody of my kids is because my ex actually asked me to take them.
Long story shortened: before she left me, we moved to CA for a few months (her idea). I was working my ass off at a landscaping company in Sacramento. I came home from work one evening in early January 2015, exhausted as usual, and totally unsuspecting, to find our apartment dark, and no one home. She then showed up with two of her white knight brothers to tell me that she was leaving me and that I needed to move out (I refused) … Fast forward to November. She discovered that she doesn’t like being a single mom at all, and is trying to take “breaks” from our kids at every opportunity. She knew I wanted the kids, so she asks if I would be okay taking them back to my home state in Montana for the winter. (of course I said yes). In her mind, it was supposed to be only temporary. But I quickly got my kids on my own insurance plan, pre-schooling schedules (one of my daughters shows signs of abuse and neglect and required some extra professional help), etc. I did everything I could to help them settle here as their permanent home. Then I told my ex that they shouldn’t go back to CA. She was furious and made all kinds of threats but eventually dropped it. Her sister told me indirectly that it’s because she realizes that I’m providing a better environment for them, but I also know that she doesn’t really want them anyway. She’s too caught up in having her fun.
Also… after speaking with a family law lawyer in Montana, I had an ace up my sleeve. In addition to all the steps I had taken to make their stay in Montana more permanent, I also had the threat of making her pay child support to me, if she wanted to fight me on the child custody thing. She was talking about having the kids go to CA for about 3 or 4 months a year, but what she didn’t realize is that 100% of child support goes to the parent who has the kids for the majority of the time… which is me. And the only way I was going to waive that was if she turned over full custody to me. So… she gets to keep all her money, and I get to keep mine, but I also have the kids.
I feel my kids dodged the bullet on that one. Their life in CA would have been really terrible. Their mom has turned into a full-fledged, SJW Feminist and is riding some new c~~~ she drags in from the bar where she works every other week. It’s a complete 180 from who she was when I met her. She came from a conservative Christian family that believed in chastity before marriage, wives-submit-to-husbands, etc. But after we got married, she told me that she was sexually abused and possibly raped by her grandfather, and two of her older brothers, and possibly a third (yes, she comes from a family of ten children… they’re kind of nuts). Her dad is a complete mangina whose b~~~~ are neatly stored in his wife’s purse. And they all blame me for our marriage collapsing, which is hilarious. 🙂
Anyway, I hope my experience can provide some strategies for other fathers in my situation. The courts are not going to help you much (if at all), but sometimes the right mix of circumstances can produce unexpected, good results. I have my kids. And I feel very lucky.
"Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife." --Apostle Paul
Philby 3 years, 5 months ago.
