Please Help

[BugSlaughterParticipant 46]

My wife is f~~~ing other guys.  She left me a few months back.  I’m really having a hard time.

I f~~~ing cared about that bitch.  I f~~~ing would have given her EVERYTHING.

I’m hurting so bad right now I can’t even explain it. FFFFUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKk!!!!

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Ok listen very carefully. I’m at work but I’ve seen this and stopped …. that’s a big deal …. so understand what Im going to say.

Look at when you feel like you do. Tell me and us what it is you feel needs to happen in order for you to deal better with this.

What ever your feeling right now is ….. understandable ….. but not ….. balanced and without that … there is no way to think or make a clear plan.

Take a deep breath and break this down step by step for us.

Others will come and I’ll be back on the ground in 2 hours.

Sray with us ok ….. you must promise this please.

Ok?

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

If you need someone to talk to on the phone let me know.  I will send you my phone number to call.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

Hi BugSlaughter. Listen my friend, I know that this is horrible what you are going through right now. There isn’t much that any of us can say right this moment to make you feel all that much better. But we are here for you.

You have come to the right place. Just last week I made a post about how depressed I am because I don’t have a woman in my life. Someone who loves me and cares about me. I got like 50 responses right away. People here help!

I think that the thing that you, me, and pretty much all men have to come to terms with is………women are not worth it. They are not worth caring about or spening a lot of time and money on. More importantly they are not worth investing your love and your heart on. They simply are not worth it. There is not much in it for the man in any relationship.

Women’s worth in a relationship is so f~~~ing low. Sex and that’s really about it. Love? Meh, I don’t think women are capable of loving anyone other than themselves.

Guys like you and me probably have had a habit in the past of putting women on a pedestal. Big mistake. They will let you down time and time again.

In about 2 weeks you will come back to this post and reread all the answers and realize that women are simply not worth it. It will be hard for you to see it right this moment but you will. Give it a couple of weeks (maybe even less than that).

 

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[cyclesomaticParticipant 137]

DoinMyOwnThing40 wrote:

Love? Meh, I don’t think women are capable of loving anyone other than themselves. Guys like you and me probably have had a habit in the past of putting women on a pedestal. Big mistake. They will let you down time and time again. In about 2 weeks you will come back to this post and reread all the answers and realize that women are simply not worth it. It will be hard for you to see it right this moment but you will. Give it a couple of weeks (maybe even less than that).

Took the words right off my keyboard.  I’ve met women that I pedestalized and when the take themselves down from that pedestal, they rip your heart from your chest as they go.

Time is the best medicine for what you’re going though.  What she has done/is doing to you now may always be a sore subject but the acute pain you’re suffering at this moment will dull and fade away.  Keep posting what’s happening and what’s on your mind.  You WILL receive help from this forum.

[Anonymous 18]

Hey man

Been there. Cared about a woman more than anything who casually decided to sleep with random men. It’s supposed to hurt. It’s supposed to be an extremely painful experience.

Please bear with the pain with all your strength. For me it was continual denial and I don’t remember how many hours sitting at the edge of bed wondering what the f~~~. How can she.

Nothing you tell yourself about how she should or would have behaved would make sense. That’s a male rationale. Don’t expect a woman to feel same or have anything romotely moral to the same extent you possess.

I can vouch it will go away. May take time. It’s a dark cloud that WILL lift itself. None of what happened on her part could have been prevented. Don’t go that route.

 

[GoneSoloParticipant 119]

[MyselfParticipant 353]

BugSlaughter wrote:

I f~~~ing would have given her EVERYTHING.

I remember that feeling well.  It is a wicked feeling.

On one hand YOU know you would have given everything, and on the other she is OBLIVIOUS to it and is treating you like TRASH.

You need to understand that there is no solution here.  You cannot give anything more. You cannot let yourself think “if only she knew how much I love her”, or let yourself think that there is any action or decision you can make that will fix things. You cannot think about the past and place blame on yourself for not being able to prevent this somehow.  All these things just add to the burden and will not help.

You need to take this weight that has been on your shoulders and _slowly_ put it down.  Its a heavy weight and as soon as you allow yourself  to let go, it will fall.  In time you can stand and stretch. She no longer deserves anything, let alone everything, you have to offer.

[Anonymous 18]

I am not sure if its necessary but I will add it just for the heck of it.

Don’t reach out to her in an effort to reduce the pain. It will give her the power to hurt you more and if personal experience is anything to go by, she will.

She should be the last person to know how much you hurt.

 

 

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

“Hello bugslaughter are you there?” (cave cricket noise) “bugslaughter are you there?”

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[BugSlaughterParticipant 46]

Hi guys.  Thanks for the replies.

There comes a time in life when a man needs to step off the path.  I s~~~ you not, I truly thought she was my soulmate.

It is time for me to step off the path.  I am very thankful to have you guys.  I think I’ve wanted to swallow that red pill for a while but I just couldn’t quite do it.  But, like I said, there comes a time in every mans life when he needs to step off the path.

My time has come.  I took off my wedding ring, but then I put it back on.  I gave it to the neighbor to hold for me (was planning to sell it) and got it back.  Tomorrow I am going to the dam (local high point), and I am going to toss it.  I also am going to remove from my life any and every evidence that she ever existed.

I’m trying to maintain, but I admit, I am on the edge.  I just keep telling myself “Steady Scott.  Steady.”

[Anonymous 18]

Glad that the replies helped.

If I could suggest … Don’t throw the wedding ring just yet. I say it for 2 reasons:

1. As you said you are on edge, you might make the ‘brave’ decision and in the following (well deserving, guaranteed sign of  sanity) moments of weakness … You don’t want to add that extra burden of throwing away what still means something to you.

2. Throw the damn thing away but at a time when the gesture will have amplified effect of providing a closure. Along with other  memorable/meaningful things pack them in a box, burn them and then throw the ring away. But you need to work out the emotional turmoil that’s going to follow for few days/weeks.

It’s about you. Compartmentalize her. Work on your feelings first. Later discard her from your life in all shapes and forms.

 

[QcummerParticipant 652]

mail the ring to me…don’t waste. reduce, reuse, recycle. In this case, I’ll reuse it for cash.

Now you get some knowledge. (which nobody seems to value these days):

In a society of individuals living in competition, people will do what they can get away with.

The deck is stacked and backed by the state in the female’s favor.

We live in a money based economy.

Cash rules.

Get money. F~~~ hoes.

The odds are, if you were born tomorrow, you’d likely be living in China or India in poverty.

I wish I ruled half the world, unfair…I know. I deserve it, but I’ll make the best of my parent’s basement 🙂

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Thank f~~~ for the rest of you guys here. I’ve been tying to log on for hours and kept getting server timing out report 😠

Anyway … all the info here is great and not much I can add.

Just know that you feel this way because of an excess of chemicals in your brain …. Im not kidding … look it up. Soon that ‘overdose’ will reduce and normality will return.

You were a slave … an now it feels odd without that ball and chain …. you still walk with a limp as if it were there.

Freedom beckons my friend….. FREEDOM. Think about that.

You can go, do, think and act anyway you want …. and answer to no one.

Feel s~~~ for a while …. it’s natural …. then find out who and what you are …… IT’S F~~~ING AWESOM.

[FrankyParticipant 2338]

It is extremely important to cut off absolutely any contact with her.Get rid of her phone number, her facebook, don’t go to places you know she goes unless it’s something important like work or the doctor.

You’re going to feel like you’re in hell in the next half an year hell maybe even a whole year, the period is ranging for the different people.

Some people are going to give you the advice of “get a new haircut” or “wear new clothes” or “do something new”, don’t do that.

The absolute most important thing for you to start your healing process is to keep doing what you’ve been doing (the things you like) you don’t need to do anything “special” or “different”. You should also forgive yourself ,most of the bad feelings you get are from self-loathing, because you think you didn’t do good enough.

You did do good enough and you owe her nothing.We’re with you and by god don’t try killing yourself, the future “you” is going to thank “you” for that mark my words.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

My advice and I’m no expert.  Act like you don’t care and be matter of fact when you tell her you want to split.  Acting like you don’t care will royally p~~~ her off.  She’ll even try to say that’s why she did it, because you don’t care.  Just ignore everything she says after that.  Don’t give her the satisfaction, no matter what she says to try and push your buttons, of seeing you heart broken and angry.  She WILL try to blame you for her behavior because women don’t apologize and they never hold themselves accountable.  Stay strong and by that I mean don’t cave and forgive her.  She’ll only do it again.

If you can, f~~~ her sister or her mother as soon as possible.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[BDParticipant 1146]

Franky wrote:

It is extremely important to cut off absolutely any contact with her.Get rid of her phone number, her facebook, don’t go to places you know she goes unless it’s something important like work or the doctor.

Ghost her in every way possible. Even go as far as to limit indirect contact.

This is an opportunity for learning, although you may want to remember the good times, you need to think about the red flags that you may have missed.. There will be several, keep these in mind whenever you think of her.

Remember, never judge a woman by her words “I love you” because she will say anything, I’ve heard this manipulative sentence from a couple dozen women and it is only used for them to get what they want out of you.

Judge her by her actions, judge her by the double standards of what she expected out of you and what she would have never done for you in return. Judge her by the fact that she probably made you pay for her to be in your presence, which is just simply another form of prostitution.

Learn to love yourself. Exercise is great for the mind. Eat a good diet. Rediscover your hobbies that you had before you met her. join a sports team or gym,  and get out with the friends that she probably isolated you from….

and most importantly Respect Yourself- Never pay for anyone to be in your presence unless they are a professional.

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[JornParticipant 2]

Hang in there bro

[GunslingerParticipant 242]

Listen to these guys, they know what’s up.  It’s going to be a hard road ahead but it’ll be easier, with time. I know it has to hurt knowing she is doing this, but at least you know. I have suspicion about my wife, but can’t get any hard details. I would much rather know, rather than guessing, or suspecting. And If it turns out to be true, I know these bro’s have my back. Hope to hear back from you on the status of everything.

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