Perfect example of women.

[Anonymous 1]

This will sound like a fanciful tail, but one I swear is true. As I have stated before I live in Mexico which as we know has some real economic challenges to citizens. I’m in what might be called a tourist community with lots of expats and deportees. The average income of people here is maybe $500.00 a month. Many make less and augment their income through a hustle of one sort or another.

I am friends and neighbors of a deportee who works at a whorehouse as a night manager. It’s really a one story U shaped cinder block motel that’s one block off one of the tourist roads. The place is mafia owned as is most of the other nefarious activities around it. Think night of the living dead. No street lights, people roaming around selling dope, pussy, whatever to tourists dumb enough to come there.

Saturday I decided to get reacuainted with my Swedish friend, Absolut. At about 20:00 hours I got bored and decided to go visit my friend Flacco where we don’t really do anything, but sit outside drink, watch and interact with the unwashed masses. I know what you may be thinking. Look while in the military I’ve seen just about everything you might imagine and madness is nothing new for me. I moved here because I was approaching 60 and didn’t want my life to be about going through the motions.

As Flacco and I took in the ambiance, a blond white gal makes her appearance, which frankly is a little startling. WTF are you doing here I ask? Here’s her story which makes her the perfect woman because she is so typical.

At 50 she lives in the US state I am from and came down with her boyfriend 10 days previously. No passport, but border patrol will let you in with a drivers license and a warning. She has 5 kids, a barely subsistence job, had been evicted 2 weeks previously, maybe a couple of failure to appears traffic warrants for her which will cause some discomfort when Customs and border patrol run her drivers license, and the guy she is with knocks her around she claims.

Apparently she became disenfranchised with the punching bag routine and took a hike which landed put her in the company or Gabriella, one of the hookers plying her trade at the hotel, who takes her in for the night.

Ms. America is regaling Flacco and I with her ardent desire to work on the pirate ship in the Marina. It’s a Spanish galleon replica that takes tourists out for 4 hour tours, a sort of booze cruise. The crew dress like pirates and serve and entertain guests. Every time she says she wants to work on the boat as a pirate galleon, she strikes a pose and says “ARGHHH”. To quote Mr. Bojangles “I likes to drinks a bit” could easily be her mantra.

Telling her she needs a work permit which she can’t get seems to delate her after about an hour of convincing. Then it came as quite a surprise to her that she was at a whorehouse in spite of the walking dead milling about and the working girls plying their trade. Hell Gabriella had been servicing her neighbors the night before at the hotel where she and her boyfriend were staying.

Midnight comes around and Flacco is set to be relieved by his replacement and OXXO shuts down so it’s time to go home. Ms. America decided she wants to come with me and because I am such close personal friends with Ms. Cervesa and Mr. Absolut, I decide that was a great idea. So back to the casa we went and had a pretty good couple of hours. Nothing was off limits.

06:00 I am up and feeling the affects of my visits with friends the night before. Ms. America is in my bed, but sleeps for a couple more hours. I’m outside drinking coffee at about 08:00 and she appears. “Want coffee I say”? Nope Ms. America says, but I’ll take a beer. Ahhh good sign I think.

When asked what her plans are (praying I wasn’t one of them), she says she didn’t have much of a choice but to go back to the boyfriend that knocks her around. My goodness…I didn’t expect that! When do women return to the men that beat their asses…?

About 09:00 Ms. America peers out of the patio and sees my neighbor, an expat gringa that does some work up at the hotel where she and boy friend were staying. Over there she goes and 1 1/2 hours later returns to me while I am working on siesta, to tell me neighbor is taking her back to boyfriend with the story that the two of them hooked up for the night, no worries.

So in recap on why perfect women. Maybe the word should be perfect example. She spends a good deal of her life f~~~ing it up leaving no options for herself. Men have become her lifeline and in due course get tired of her and kick her to the curb where she finds another man to repeat the cycle. She allows boyfriend (s) to beat her ass because her self esteem is in the dumper and she feels she deserves it and you know what? Maybe she does. Her long term employment goal is to become a pirate, ARGH! Short terms is to find some dope to take her in for the next round.

Here are some positive things about the evening. We’re both alive. I had a great time and don’t really care if she did or not. She left without asking. She had the good grace not to ask me to call her. She had the decency of not trying to kiss me with falatioed lips (is that a word??) upon her exit.

Upon the end of my story I want you to think upon a scene in the Clint Eastwood movie Hang Em High. The scaffold scene in particular where a nebbish milquetoast of man regales the onlookers with his last words soliloquy of the dangers of John Barleycorn, which easily could have been replaced with Dos Eques and Absult. While my story turned out ok, it could easily have been me on the gallows of one sort or another. I shudder to think of having a house guest, albeit Ms America in my home for another day.

Oh brothers pray for me this debaucherous soul!

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

The average income of people here is maybe $500.00 a month.

That’s more than I made during a good portion of the Obama depression!

And try that^^^^ on our horty torty high cost of living!

She’s nothing but trouble to anyone that takes her in.

Why would you let a whirlwind of trash like that blow into your home, domicile, casa?

If I was allowed to hold them at gunpoint without policia friction I WOULD!

[Anonymous 1]

In answer to why I would let this whirlwind piece of trash in, I would point you to the YouTube link in the post that reflects the perils of bad judgment when while drinking. I was on the verge of curing cancer till a good martini found me.

[Anonymous 42]

I totally and with experience understand! My apologies…

[Anonymous 1]

Humbly accepted brother. I expect I would make a good example as a whirlwind piece of s~~~ to a feminist, a title I accept with no regret.

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

Anonymous wrote:

I was on the verge of curing cancer till a good martini found me.

Ha ha ha ha. That’s a great turn of phrase, I like that.

Note to self: must remember this!

[Anonymous 1]

Here’s one I heard this morning on NPR on discussing Trumps time in office. “Like an escaped monkey from a cocaine studies trial”. Could apply to just about anything and I intend to use it frequently.

[Author]

Posts