Pairing up is not a lonliness solution .. despite what they say

[hmskl’dParticipant 6414]

If pairing up is the solution to any of the issues that are often discussed in regards to gyow, I need some proof.

this post is dealing mainly with depression and loneliness .. a topic recently discussed .. and I doubt that pairing up does anything but worsen it in the longer term

Advertisers … You see it everywhere, in advertising .. the couple sitting on a couch watching television .. the awalt with her head on the guy’s shoulder .. and all is well. Both smiling and happy munching on popcorn and having the world by the tail.

Not so fast .. hold the proverbial horses

If pairing up is the solution to anything including loneliness, depression, quality of future life, finances .. general health and well being for a guy .. then

I ask the following question

why? … why are virtually all the people I cross paths with in my daily existence, who are paired .. why aren’t they noticeably happy? don’t they have someone waiting at home, regular sex and a great life with madam awalt? .. or do they?

The truth is .. they often seem miserable in many ways .. and more often than not .. more miserable than the guy who isn’t paired .. why don’t they ever talk about their “relationship” happiness? I’ve never heard it from anyone, paired.

The guy ghow has more coins left over in his pocket .. he has freedom .. and he has all the opportunities out there ..
so, if pairing, marriage, even steady dating .. adds to the point of solving problems in life .. including the loneliness issue

I haven’t ever seen a relationship as a solution beyond the world of advertising .. it’s something that I considered when discussing loneliness and/or depression in the context of living the single life.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22548]

Because they believe they will be worse off alone. Fear. Paralyzing fear. One of the few times unawake guys dont view things through the grass is greener fallacy.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

No f~~~s given cures all of that.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[AutoliteParticipant]

hmskl’d wrote:

The truth is .. they often seem miserable in many ways .. and more often than not .. more miserable than the guy who isn’t paired .. why don’t they ever talk about their “relationship” happiness? I’ve never heard it from anyone, paired.

Admitting being wrong about anything is just contrary to human nature (and misery loves company). Many guys will lie about being ‘happily married’ and would rather watch you follow them down the same path to misery than fess-up by admitting that they were wrong and stupid to get married.

It’s really f~~~ed-up but that’s just the way it is. Some guys will even get remarried several times while knowing that it’s a horrible mistake. Their life of misery, for them, is less painful than to admit to being wrong…

[RayBandakuParticipant 888]

Great post.

When I look back at my married life of 12 years and past 10 years of my post married single life, its very clear that I am permanently happy now.

We are never alone on a planet filled with 7 Billion people with all the connections we can make in person or on the internet. We don’t need women to feel complete because we are born complete without women.

Thank for sharing a great post, enjoy your life going your own way.

[iMickey503Participant 12466]

You know, if you feel lonely? Just join the U.N.

Women do feel good. They Can be great. But most of the time, it’s horrible. Its really all the media that says its great. Not real world. If the real world (Social media for most) told the truth and people listened? THat IDEA that women make you happy would be shot down in flames

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[AwakenedParticipant 35206]

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”

-Robin Williams

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[AwakenedParticipant 35206]

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

Because they believe they will be worse off alone. Fear. Paralyzing fear.

NEVER Underestimate the POWER of Fear.

Many Men are just AFRAID to CHANGE. They become “conditioned” from birth to only expect a role of servitude, and when that’s what they get, they figure that’s ALL THERE IS, and live out their days in their conditioned role.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[WPLParticipant 2390]

Yep. I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about marriage. He’s NOT what you would call a weak man; in fact, he’s a decorated Army veteran. He doesn’t have any major problems in his marriage (8 years in), but he did admit to me that — as much as he loves his kids — if he were to do everything over again, he would have stayed single. Told me he misses his freedom (not in the sense of banging lots of women — just the simple freedom to go where he wants and do what he pleases).

Autolite wrote:

hmskl’d wrote:

The truth is .. they often seem miserable in many ways .. and more often than not .. more miserable than the guy who isn’t paired .. why don’t they ever talk about their “relationship” happiness? I’ve never heard it from anyone, paired.

Admitting being wrong about anything is just contrary to human nature (and misery loves company). Many guys will lie about being ‘happily married’ and would rather watch you follow them down the same path to misery than fess-up by admitting that they were wrong and stupid to get married.
It’s really f~~~ed-up but that’s just the way it is. Some guys will even get remarried several times while knowing that it’s a horrible mistake. Their life of misery, for them, is less painful than to admit to being wrong…

[narwhalParticipant]

I’d generally say their are 4 reasons why men choose to get married.

1 – self esteem. Society likes to tell us that men are not of any value unless they are serving and meeting the approval of a woman. Men will tend to get depressed then if they are not married and will make huge sacrafices to get and stay with a woman.

2 – fatherhood. Right now, being married is the primary way that men can be fathers. This is going to change though as we have generations of men who were single and a father. It’s the example set that will make the next generation be more comfortable with the idea. Women will not like this, but they’re going to have a hard time stopping it. Probably the biggest deterrent is going to be that single father’s are not going to have many allies, as the trad cons, leftiest, and MGTOW are all against men having kids on their own.

3 – companionship. There are men who are so driven by their career that all they really expect from a wife is a little companionship. If the wife is deeply trad con, or so career oriented herself that she expects nothing else, then you could have a marriage that isn’t a total disaster.

4 – forced/guilt. There are many man who’ve just been with a woman for so long that he’s now been convinced that it’s his duty to marry her. “She’s earned it”. This never works out well.

Ok. Then do it.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

If a person is unhappy by himself, there is pretty much NO chance that being with someone else will make him happy. You have to be happy with yourself first.

On the other hand, if a person IS happy with himself, while it is possible to become MORE happy being with someone else, it is possible that the happy state will be made unhappy by any number of things: financial stresses, cheating, nagging, divorce, lack of freedom, etc.

Not just possible, but more likely than the former.

Like many other things, becoming happy with someone else starting from a position of unhappiness is a lie and a myth orchestrated by those who don’t have your best interests in mind.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

Lost count of how many times Men I know, have cited articles to me with titles like: “Men in Social Relationships Live Longer” or “Married Men are 10 times Less Likely to…” or “Guys with girlfriends Perform better at Jobs/Tests..”

The immediate justification to pussy beg is strong, they will find news articles and argue fiercely. Facts dont matter, only feelings. When you present cold-hard facts from CDC or Census, they respond with “you’re a sexist” or “who hurt you?”

LOL

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

Gravel Pit wrote:

When you present cold-hard facts from CDC or Census, they respond with “you’re a sexist” or “who hurt you?”
LOL

My response is “Since I’m a realist, facts are more important to me than the feelings of an NPC”.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

The examples of Men seeking unFreedom. This was a concept that was totally unintuitive to me prior to discovering MGTOW. It’s evident as hell though.

[narwhalParticipant]

Ranger One wrote:

If a person is unhappy by himself, there is pretty much NO chance that being with someone else will make him happy. You have to be happy with yourself first.

This isn’t exactly true. If it were true, then people would never go to therapy, rehab, etc for depression as that is technically a level of companionship. What is true is that the vast majority of people you meet have no interest in try to make an unhappy person happy. It’s exhausting. Unhappy people also tend to blame those around them for their unhappiness. Also exhausting.

If unhappy man is surrounded by people who give a damn about him and actively try and meet his reasonable wishes and all that, then he’s going to get happy. Money is going to get a lot of people invested in your happiness.

Ranger One wrote:

On the other hand, if a person IS happy with himself, while it is possible to become MORE happy being with someone else, it is possible that the happy state will be made unhappy by any number of things: financial stresses, cheating, nagging, divorce, lack of freedom, etc.

The former is possible, the latter is probable. For a man who knows what he likes and is set in his ways, it’s practically a guarantee.

Ok. Then do it.

[JustAnotherGuyParticipant]

iMickey503 wrote:

Women do feel good. They Can be great. But most of the time, it’s horrible.

Most of the time it’s like voluntarily locking yourself in a cage with a rabid wildcat.

I was paired up for basically 7 years, married the last year of it. The regular sex was great for the first 6 while I was in the middle of it. The companionship was nice. The in-jokes were nice. But in hindsight, good god damn that woman took half my life through my kid via my wallet just so she could chase her own dragons.

Happiness is a brief punctuation. You can’t stay permanently happy. Your body will recalibrate to a new baseline. I’m content and I’m not stuck in a house with someone who makes me feel alone–I call that a win. Plus, I come and go on my schedule and do what I want with no regrets. I don’t ask permission to spend my own money and I don’t have to worry about getting caught staring too long at the aerobics instructor in down-dog.

Pairing up is escapism. It’s a distraction and deflection from your problems. It allows you to project and pretend you’re content instead of actually looking in the abyss and facing yourself.

Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805

[GrumpyParticipant]

I concur wholeheartedly.
My reasoning is if you have 2 miserable f~~~ers pairing up you have double the misery and other issues. Which in my experience and observations pretty much sums up the reality of “pairing up”
I may not be the “happiest” f~~~er in the world, but I am extremely content not to be enmeshed in the misery or drama of anyone else.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[Author]

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