Pain,Revenge,Abstinence,Indifference,Enlightenment a MGTOW story

[ShiroeParticipant 139]

Disclaimer:This will be a rather large wall of text.

We all have stories.All of us MGTOW have them. Some darker and more painful while some are on the brighter side. We all got to where we are today because of what we did and what happened around us. I point no blame. We all of us have gone through some form of red pill rage. It may have lasted longer in some of our lives and some of you who are reading this may still be in that state trying to get out. I hope this story, My story can provide you with some insight and/or much needed closure.

My story of growth and enlightenment began when I was 11. At the time I had not the ability or understanding to see what was going on. To me the divorce of my 2nd parents was part of life. They didn’t really say much to me at the time. The effect it had on me externally was what had started to set the stage of the rest of my life. You see we lived in a moderately nice house in new york. When the divorce happened the house got sold and they moved to different places. So I had to move too. My “mother” would not let me live with her. Go figure. My father who was financially devastated by the divorce had to move to a small apartment in long island. and he had to work a lot to keep the money flowing to my ungrateful “mother” who never worked a job a day in her life. But that is neither here nor there. As the loner and kid who got into fights a lot, I never really cared much about where I lived. No one really believed in me besides my 2nd father. I cant tell you how many hours and days i spent in the police station and in correctional facilities and eventually jail after that day. Back to the point. When they divorced I was sent to a boarding school for kids with anger problems and who have violent records.after about 2 years there i surpassed most of the kids there intellectually. I could comprehend intent and emotion at a much higher level than most of the other residents there. That comprehension has helped me out in quite a few scenarios later on. so when i met someone in person i could comprehend there sincerity and intentions pretty well. That was a blessing and a curse. The good side of it was I knew who was genuine and who was false authority figures included. by the time I was 15 I hated the place I lived in. It was so rigid and there where rules for everything anyone who stepped out of line was dealt with severely. As a free thinker I had a strong loathing for authority and rules. At the time I saw it as limiting and counterproductive to be restricted so much. For how could one grow to be a better man with such a tight leash. I guess at that time I still believed that peoples best interests where taken into account when decisions where made concerning said person in the world I lived in. Oh how wrong I was. Now since I was growing up in a restricted environment I had very little exposure to the female species other than my deadbeat “mother”. I had no preparation for what hit me next. When I finally got out of that forsaken boarding school and went to a much more lax school Where female-male interaction was allowed and encouraged along side my raging hormones. It was like being hit by a truck then being hit by freezing water. I had no understanding of what was going on. I was face to face with a whole new creature.The female. Acclimating to the lesser rules was one thing I had to tackle. No lines. You didn’t need to ask to do everything. I didn’t have any allotted times in the day to do certain tasks. It was strange. The real problem was the females. They where a whole new species to me. The analytical\rational side of me told me to take caution. Around this time my little head started taking control of me. I was captivated by the female.Long story short I was becoming a simp. Now since my entire life was full of either rejection or structure and I only was around males I expected everyone to act with honor and that there was a unspoken code of rules everyone followed. How wrong I was. The girls that I went to school with knew no honor, lied, manipulated and cheated there way to the top. They had the trump card and they knew it. They played me for a fool many times all because I was so captivated by them. After about a year of this I started questioning my behavior. I started to understand that females had no honor and the ones who I thought had it where simply playing the game better than other girls. At around this time I was waking up. Throughout this time I was studying reading and playing sports. I was always tall strong smart and good looking so I received a lot of attention from girls maybe that was why I was so dumb in the beginning. Anyways in school I excelled in English and math. When I wasn’t training with the basketball team or running with the x-country guys I was reading books and studying. I saw knowledge as a way to take control of my life. I was never more right about anything than that. In business I learned about cost benefit analyses and locating your target market and how to attract said market. With that knowledge I started looking at human relationships and interactions with that light alongside my previous understandings. My most important finding and technique was removing myself from the current situation mentally for a moment and analyzing the situation. As the years passed I began to understand human interactions more and more. I became much more quiet and observant. That was all good and nice but I still believed in the dream of love that was sold to me. With all the knowledge I had in economics I was still blind to the fact i was being sold a dream by males and females alike. The dream of love. Enough of that. Lets jump to the important part.Throughout this time my connection to my 2nd father was still strong. He saw me growing up. Growing into what he was when he was around my age. So one day on one of his visits he talked to me. He spoke on how stupid he was abut women at my age. He said “Son. When dealing with women you have to understand this. No matter how much they cry or try to work you up remain calm and be like stone. It will be hard in the beginning but when you live through a woman you will understand.” he then said “i was unfortunate when I was young. I believed in love just as you do now. if you learn one thing from me, if everything I do for you and say to you is forgotten remember this one thing. Women lie and manipulate like me and you breathe air. When a woman says anything there are many things you may not see in the words that may no will hurt or haunt you later. Make peace with yourself. For only you can be truly honest with yourself. Remember that.” We then spoke on his marriage and while he realized his screwed up he still said for me to be a man I should marry so while he understood women to an extent he was still blue pilled. So when I was 19 I started researching alimony and marriage. That brought me to the mra community and I stayed in a mra mindset for about a year. Then I found MGTOW. As I let the information in I was subconsciously rejecting it. An internal battle was fought for a few weeks. My blue pill mind fighting my rational mind. Eventually my rational mind won. In the beginning it was all so much to take in. I was numb in shock. i didn’t know what to do it all seemed so much. Then the rage kicked in. I did things that got me sent to jail a few times. When walking on the street i would intentionally bump into women ant curse at them when they reacted i smacked my mother a few times and a lot of other violent and passive aggressive s~~~. I was in pain and I let it out through violence and anger. It was bad because I was 6’6 and 259 pounds. the anger is the second worst part of becoming MGTOW. here is some advice I wish I had when I was going through the rage. The most important piece is that IT PASSES it is not permanent. The second thing is not to not think about it. Trying not to think about it is stupid but to do as much physical activity as possible. Try to get as tired as possible from physical work. Last but not least release it in a way that will not harm you or anyone unlucky enough to catch you at the wrong time. Control is key.The anger lasted a few months. To be hones it never truly goes away completely. Then I felt pain pain so great I wanted to die. I want to say it gets better quickly but it doesn’t. You feel empty. Like the world you lived in twisted and changed right in front of you. Everything you thought you knew was a ghost. You have nothing. You are nothing. This is the most dangerous phase of MGTOW. You have a high chance of attempted suicide. I quit my job ignored my friends and spent days in pain until I couldnt take it I bought a few 40s and bought sleeping pills and oded. I wish there was a blanket solution for this but there isn’t. The best advice i can give is spend time away from your house or apartment and do as much as possible as long as you are not alone in your abode. Just like with the rage IT WILL PASS WITH TIME. Once you pass that things get somewhat better. After my depression passed I became cold to everyone indifferent to everything. What happened around me had no lasting effect if any. I just didn’t care what happened. But I had finally accepted MGTOW and for a few years I was indifferent to anything and everything. I didn’t know what to do. I took the red pill and now I had a decision to make. Fall into nothingness or make something of myself for me. And this my friends was when I truly became enlightened but the journey wasn’t over I had acquired a tool and now I had to use it and I will use it until my final breath. What was the tool. The tool for me was a rebirth of a man like a phoenix I rose from the ashes of my old views and started a new road with just me by my side with the thirst for knowledge and that is perfect for me. Thank you

When a man looks inside himself and accepts he is no one. When he accepts he is nothing. Only then can he ascend to greatness

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

I want to read it, but please, use paragraphs!

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[Anonymous 18]

I am not trying to be a c~~~, but I will re-post your post OP with paragraphs. It is worth a read and you are past the editing window. I hope you do not mind and members can give OP +1’s.

————————————————————————————————

Disclaimer:This will be a rather large wall of text.

We all have stories. All of us MGTOW have them. Some darker and more painful while some are on the brighter side. We all got to where we are today because of what we did and what happened around us. I point no blame. We all of us have gone through some form of red pill rage. It may have lasted longer in some of our lives and some of you who are reading this may still be in that state trying to get out. I hope this story, My story can provide you with some insight and/or much needed closure.

My story of growth and enlightenment began when I was 11. At the time I had not the ability or understanding to see what was going on. To me the divorce of my 2nd parents was part of life. They didn’t really say much to me at the time. The effect it had on me externally was what had started to set the stage of the rest of my life. You see we lived in a moderately nice house in new york. When the divorce happened the house got sold and they moved to different places. So I had to move too.

My “mother” would not let me live with her. Go figure. My father who was financially devastated by the divorce had to move to a small apartment in long island. and he had to work a lot to keep the money flowing to my ungrateful “mother” who never worked a job a day in her life. But that is neither here nor there. As the loner and kid who got into fights a lot, I never really cared much about where I lived. No one really believed in me besides my 2nd father. I cant tell you how many hours and days i spent in the police station and in correctional facilities and eventually jail after that day.

Back to the point. When they divorced I was sent to a boarding school for kids with anger problems and who have violent records.after about 2 years there i surpassed most of the kids there intellectually. I could comprehend intent and emotion at a much higher level than most of the other residents there. That comprehension has helped me out in quite a few scenarios later on. so when i met someone in person i could comprehend there sincerity and intentions pretty well. That was a blessing and a curse. The good side of it was I knew who was genuine and who was false authority figures included.

by the time I was 15 I hated the place I lived in. It was so rigid and there where rules for everything anyone who stepped out of line was dealt with severely. As a free thinker I had a strong loathing for authority and rules. At the time I saw it as limiting and counterproductive to be restricted so much. For how could one grow to be a better man with such a tight leash. I guess at that time I still believed that peoples best interests where taken into account when decisions where made concerning said person in the world I lived in. Oh how wrong I was.

Now since I was growing up in a restricted environment I had very little exposure to the female species other than my deadbeat “mother”. I had no preparation for what hit me next. When I finally got out of that forsaken boarding school and went to a much more lax school Where female-male interaction was allowed and encouraged along side my raging hormones. It was like being hit by a truck then being hit by freezing water. I had no understanding of what was going on. I was face to face with a whole new creature.The female. Acclimating to the lesser rules was one thing I had to tackle. No lines. You didn’t need to ask to do everything. I didn’t have any allotted times in the day to do certain tasks. It was strange.

The real problem was the females. They where a whole new species to me. The analytical\rational side of me told me to take caution. Around this time my little head started taking control of me. I was captivated by the female.Long story short I was becoming a simp. Now since my entire life was full of either rejection or structure and I only was around males I expected everyone to act with honor and that there was a unspoken code of rules everyone followed. How wrong I was.

The girls that I went to school with knew no honor, lied, manipulated and cheated there way to the top. They had the trump card and they knew it. They played me for a fool many times all because I was so captivated by them. After about a year of this I started questioning my behavior. I started to understand that females had no honor and the ones who I thought had it where simply playing the game better than other girls. At around this time I was waking up.

Throughout this time I was studying reading and playing sports. I was always tall strong smart and good looking so I received a lot of attention from girls maybe that was why I was so dumb in the beginning. Anyways in school I excelled in English and math. When I wasn’t training with the basketball team or running with the x-country guys I was reading books and studying. I saw knowledge as a way to take control of my life. I was never more right about anything than that. In business I learned about cost benefit analyses and locating your target market and how to attract said market. With that knowledge I started looking at human relationships and interactions with that light alongside my previous understandings.

My most important finding and technique was removing myself from the current situation mentally for a moment and analyzing the situation. As the years passed I began to understand human interactions more and more. I became much more quiet and observant. That was all good and nice but I still believed in the dream of love that was sold to me. With all the knowledge I had in economics I was still blind to the fact i was being sold a dream by males and females alike. The dream of love. Enough of that.

Lets jump to the important part.Throughout this time my connection to my 2nd father was still strong. He saw me growing up. Growing into what he was when he was around my age. So one day on one of his visits he talked to me. He spoke on how stupid he was abut women at my age. He said “Son. When dealing with women you have to understand this. No matter how much they cry or try to work you up remain calm and be like stone. It will be hard in the beginning but when you live through a woman you will understand.” he then said “i was unfortunate when I was young. I believed in love just as you do now. if you learn one thing from me, if everything I do for you and say to you is forgotten remember this one thing. Women lie and manipulate like me and you breathe air. When a woman says anything there are many things you may not see in the words that may no will hurt or haunt you later. Make peace with yourself. For only you can be truly honest with yourself. Remember that.” We then spoke on his marriage and while he realized his screwed up he still said for me to be a man I should marry so while he understood women to an extent he was still blue pilled.

So when I was 19 I started researching alimony and marriage. That brought me to the mra community and I stayed in a mra mindset for about a year. Then I found MGTOW. As I let the information in I was subconsciously rejecting it. An internal battle was fought for a few weeks. My blue pill mind fighting my rational mind. Eventually my rational mind won. In the beginning it was all so much to take in. I was numb in shock. i didn’t know what to do it all seemed so much. Then the rage kicked in.

I did things that got me sent to jail a few times. When walking on the street i would intentionally bump into women ant curse at them when they reacted i smacked my mother a few times and a lot of other violent and passive aggressive s~~~. I was in pain and I let it out through violence and anger. It was bad because I was 6’6 and 259 pounds. the anger is the second worst part of becoming MGTOW. here is some advice I wish I had when I was going through the rage. The most important piece is that IT PASSES it is not permanent. The second thing is not to not think about it. Trying not to think about it is stupid but to do as much physical activity as possible. Try to get as tired as possible from physical work. Last but not least release it in a way that will not harm you or anyone unlucky enough to catch you at the wrong time. Control is key.The anger lasted a few months. To be hones it never truly goes away completely.

Then I felt pain pain so great I wanted to die. I want to say it gets better quickly but it doesn’t. You feel empty. Like the world you lived in twisted and changed right in front of you. Everything you thought you knew was a ghost. You have nothing. You are nothing. This is the most dangerous phase of MGTOW. You have a high chance of attempted suicide. I quit my job ignored my friends and spent days in pain until I couldnt take it I bought a few 40s and bought sleeping pills and oded. I wish there was a blanket solution for this but there isn’t.

The best advice i can give is spend time away from your house or apartment and do as much as possible as long as you are not alone in your abode. Just like with the rage IT WILL PASS WITH TIME. Once you pass that things get somewhat better. After my depression passed I became cold to everyone indifferent to everything. What happened around me had no lasting effect if any. I just didn’t care what happened.

But I had finally accepted MGTOW and for a few years I was indifferent to anything and everything. I didn’t know what to do. I took the red pill and now I had a decision to make. Fall into nothingness or make something of myself for me. And this my friends was when I truly became enlightened but the journey wasn’t over I had acquired a tool and now I had to use it and I will use it until my final breath. What was the tool. The tool for me was a rebirth of a man like a phoenix I rose from the ashes of my old views and started a new road with just me by my side with the thirst for knowledge and that is perfect for me. Thank you

[AttonParticipant]

I must say that was quite a long one thank the lord for text to speech. But I must advise you to protect and value your freedom and security. Avoid doing anything that would threaten either one of them.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Anonymous 5]

Thank you for your story and welcome .I wish I had mgtow when I was married it would have saved me.you seem like a very smart person keep living life on your terms women just aren’t worth it .

[ShiroeParticipant 139]

Anonymous wrote:

I am not trying to be a c~~~, but I will re-post your post OP with paragraphs. It is worth a read and you are past the editing window. I hope you do not mind and members can give OP +1’s.

Hey sorry about not writing it in paragraphs. That’s my bad thanks for the edit.

When a man looks inside himself and accepts he is no one. When he accepts he is nothing. Only then can he ascend to greatness

[ShiroeParticipant 139]

Nerevar wrote:

I want to read it, but please, use paragraphs!

My bad man sorry.

When a man looks inside himself and accepts he is no one. When he accepts he is nothing. Only then can he ascend to greatness

[Author]

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