One way out… or maybe two

[GeraldParticipant 3628]

Ive been here now for a few months, have been trying to plan amd execute towards the “yes i want a divorce conversation” but have come to the conclusion, after two very hard weeks and being lied to straight to my face, that there is really only one option.

No, the suicide option, which too many of our blue pill brothers take is not the option i mean, and though i understand it, cannot consider it.

The option i appeared to be facing is to just leave. Not announce it, not properly plan it, just leave. It isnt the right option, and doesn’t work financially, relationship with my kid wise, nor divorce wise as it will allow me to raped. But, it seems the only available now.

Will i do it? Not likely, at least not yet, but am hoping i can get the courage amd do so one day.

Brothers, i hope you cam find the right way for yourselves. Whether that is running, divorcing, kicking her out, or just living knowing you know the truth amd forming an idgaf red pill marriage…

I will be around, will lurk and comment, but am in no shape to give advice. To the newcomers out there, learn from those of us in this mess. Go your own way, no matter what that means to you.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Talk to a divorce lawyer.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

I would cash out before I see a lawyer. Sell s~~~, take money. Cause after you see a lawyer if any money disappears or assets are sold they will make sure you pay it back. My ex cashed in two 401s and emptied the banks about a year before filing. Nothing I could do about it.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Agree w/the divorce lawyer convo. Make sure your attorney understands what it is *you* want, and if there’s any practical way you can get it.

It’s also worth asking for your atty’s advice on limiting debt. I don’t know what state you’re in, but the first thing mine told me is to put a strict limit on any joint credit cards – if she ran up the card i’d be liable for at least 50% of it.

Whatever you decide on, make sure you have some solid facts from a professional. Informed decisions are the best decisions.

[SolidusXParticipant 854]

I personally would just not leave unless you can afford ghosting and starting a new life under a new identity, I would do this….

1. Center yourself! It sounds like you are stressed to the max right now and it will affect your judgment. Do something that makes you happy away from your family every day if possible, do this for at least a week to try to calm yourself down.

2. Get your finances in order quickly and in secret… Cancel and get rid of any joint credit card you have. If asked about it state you want to go more to cash to save on interest or whatever story you want to make up. For joint bank accounts make damn well sure there is clause in there that it takes 2 signatures to take money out and also to cancel any debit cards attached to those accounts or at the very least lower the limits as low as they go. Video record all of your solely owned assets like cars, electronics, furniture, art, etc that is in your name. Any future spending that is joint keep any and all receipts. If the woman presses you for information as to why cards are being lowered and or canceled LIE LIE LIE, tell her simply that you want to be more economically sound and go more to cash to avoid interest and overdrafts.

3. Get all your paperwork and receipts together for EVERYTHING you own in your name and that is jointly owned. Paperwork is the devil but it can be the devil that is on your side, trust me on this one.

4. Get your exit strategy in place, she will demand you leave the house so make sure you have a backup place ready to go and a bag of all your necessities ready to go so you can get out fast if things get dicey. When women are emotionally hurt they lash out without using their head and courts almost always side with women.

5. When you are ready to drop the news to her about divorce do it when the kids are not around and speak in a calm and non offensive attitude. Make sure you are video taping the entire thing incase she gets violent and tries to pull a fast one on you with the police. If she does and the police show up show them the video. Any future dealings with her record everything on video and make sure it is dated from a reputable source like a newspaper (record the newspaper date etc).

You may not be able to do everything I have stated but if you atleast get a plan together It will be tougher in the short term but in the long term you will save your bacon!

Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit

[Anonymous 43]

do all that and visit all the lawyers for free consult. she cant use them if u got there first.

[Anonymous 43]

jesus god do you live in an alimony state?

[BeerParticipant 11832]

FrostByte wrote:

I would cash out before I see a lawyer. Sell s~~~, take money. Cause after you see a lawyer if any money disappears or assets are sold they will make sure you pay it back. My ex cashed in two 401s and emptied the banks about a year before filing. Nothing I could do about it.

Buddy of mine just got f~~~ed with this. She cleaned out all the accounts, took the kid, and moved in with her family. He was left with nothing but what she left in the house and had no cash other than the few bucks that was in his wallet until he got his next paycheck. They ended up losing the house because he couldn’t afford it on his own and she wouldn’t give him any money. The guys living in his car now and she has literally everything of value.

Even if down the road during the divorce process he could potentially come up with some bank statements to prove what they had right before she went into full c~~~ mode, and even if he gets part of that, its still not going to change the fact that she literally made him broke and homeless for months until he can save a few grand and get his s~~~ together.

Gerald wrote:

No, the suicide option, which too many of our blue pill brothers take is not the option i mean, and though i understand it, cannot consider it.

F~~~ suicide. Not that I think suicide or violence against someone else is ever the best solution to your problems, but if someone was making me so miserable I wanted to kill myself, I think I’d be making someone else disappear long before I made myself disappear.

[experiencedParticipant]

Put away a lot of cash or she will have you on the ropes financially while she’s destroying you divorce wise.

If you are certain that divorce is the option to do, her first whiff should be her getting served with divorce papers.
Take the more powerful position First.
You can always choose to be Santa Claus later on.
If she files first, you will be fighting a defensive war which is harder to win.
I guarantee, no laydeez play Santa when they realize how slanted the courts are.
“She’s entitled to it by law” = in “laydee think” with a clear conscience, “mine, mine, mine!”

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Better without YOUParticipant 234]

I love the book called The Manipulated Man. Below are quotes that I think will help you put your life in perspective to hers.

You do need to leave. You leaving only matters in that she has to explain to other women why you left.

Yes, only women exist in a woman’s world. The women she meets at church, at parent-teacher meetings, or in the supermarket; the women with whom she chats over the garden fence; the women at parties or win- dow-shopping in the more fashionable streets; those she apparently never seems to notice – these women are the measure of her success or failure. Women’s standards correspond to those in other women’s heads, not to those in the heads of men; it is their judgment that really counts, not that of men. A simple word of praise from another woman – and all those clumsy, inadequate male compliments fall by the wayside, for they are just praises out of the mouths of amateurs.

And you leaving also is only considered a “nuisance” and she will be back on the search in a matter of days.

A woman may, in fact, be compared to a firm in a number of ways. After all, a firm is only an impersonal system aimed at achieving a maximum profit. And what else does a woman do? Without any emotion – love, hate, or malice – she is bound to the man who works for her. Feelings become involved only if he threatens to leave her. Then her livelihood is at stake. As this is a rational reaction with a rational cause, it can be rationally dealt with and adjusted to. She can always place another man under contract. How different is her reaction from those of a man who finds himself in a similar position. He is racked by jealousy, humiliation, feelings of inferior- ity and self-pity – but she as emotionless.
A woman would hardly ever feel jealous in such a situation, since the man is leaving her only for another woman and not in order to be free. In her eyes he is not improving his position in any way. The adventure of a man’s love for a new woman is nothing more than a nuisance. She is seeing it all from the angle of the small entrepreneur who loses his best worker to a competitor. As far as a woman is concerned, the heartache involved is nothing more than a reaction to letting good business go elsewhere.

[Author]

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