Good morning, and happy Easter.
So where to start. I guess I’ll start with basic background. I’m 42 years old, divorced with 2 kids, boy and girl, and an ex-step son. The kids are 8, 10 and 14. Been divorced for about 6-7 years now. Living in Texas, there’s no alimony, so the divorce was not as devastating as it could have been. The marriage was probably more financially devastating.
I’ve dated some here and there, but have been mostly disappointed, primarily for the various reasons stated all over this board. I’m not naive and don’t care to put up with the crap anymore.
So I don’t really care to call myself, MGTOW, partly because I’m not big on labels, partly because I don’t agree with everything said here, and partly because I still hold out some hope for the exception. The idea of a good healthy relationship sounds great, but the reality is it’s highly unlikely…think struck by lightning kind of unlikely.
The marriage contract is just horrible. As a father, I do not feel I can take that kind of financial risk. I plan on continuing to provide for my kids and pay for college, and I don’t want a financial burden I have no control over. A woman may say ’till death do us part’, but she can go back on that promise without any other reason then “It’s just not fun anymore” and the world will love her for it. Nevermind the damage it does to those she promised to care for.
Besides all that, I have little interest in being a step father again. A single mom may treat you with respect while dating, but once she’s got you, you’re supposed to man up and take a back sit to her kids. Yes, I can go without your attention, but that’s not why you get married.
That said, I don’t hate women. I don’t exactly blame them for who they are. I’m not particularly fond of a lot of men either, but it’s not all their fault either. Feminism is the biggest factor in the downfall in relationships. It allows men to avoid confrontation when confrontation is required, and women to avoid consequences for their actions.
There’s a lot of principles I’ve learned and try to follow since I’ve been on my on again. Probably the biggest one is that no longer consider morality in my judgments and decisions. Labeling an action as right or wrong is a way of controlling behavior, without any reasoning behind it. That said, actions have consequences and those are not to be ignored. Quite often, I find that society’s moral view of an action does not often lineup with the consequences.
Related to that, I’ve learned to express how I feel rather then pass judgement on others. For example, if I woman is behaving badly, I could tell her she’s wrong, acting like a bitch whatever. Telling her that is going to get me nowhere. It won’t change behavior, cause resentment etc. However, when I tell her that I want to leave when she acts that way, she has the choice to either change her behavior or watch me leave. There is no resentment, no attacking me, trying to change the subject, etc. I did tell her she was wrong for her actions, just let her know the consequences of her actions and giving her the power.
I also learned not to engage in an emotional argument with a woman (or man really). When it gets emotional, simply politely excuse yourself from the conversation. Tell her you’d be happy to continue the conversation under more civil terms at a later time, which could be 5 minutes from now or much later. Not only am I usually better prepared to state my case better, but she is always more rational then she was in her emotional state.
Well, I suppose that’s enough for now.
