OK. Joke day again

[Anonymous 0]

Son: Why do they call it PMS, Daddy?
Father: Because mad cow disease was already taken.

Heard about the break in at the police station?
Nope
Yeah, somebody broke in and stole all the toilets.
In a police statement Constable M52 said they have no clues or suspects and are asking forthe publics’ help and that they have nothing to go on.

If you got one let’s hear it. Doesn’t matter how old or how bad.

[BoarParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

Son: Why do they call it PMS, Daddy?
Father: Because mad cow disease was already taken.

That raises an interesting question: has there ever been a rabid whale?

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[bladeParticipant]

I said to an arsehole chick once .
HAY YOU DROPPED SOMETHING . She looked around on the ground then looked at me.

Then i said . F~~~ ya bleed to death .

As she walked of i got some real cool comments as she walked of .funny as

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

That works well on a break up to boys . I laugh when chicks go off there dial and like to push it into full retard mode for a laugh as they walk of. Funny as f~~~ give it a try .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 0]

Speaking of walking off.
Hey! When you get to the corner, stop and look around.
Huh?
Somebody told me Christmas was there.

[bladeParticipant]

If you said Christmas was there she would be looking around for a well dressed mangina .lol

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[BigDParticipant 3024]

Me talking to a young buck on why women have to be beautiful;
Me: You have a girlfriend?
YB: Yes.
Me: You have a best friend?
YB: Yes.
Me: If your best friend acted like your girlfriend would he still be your best friend?
YB: Holy crap!!!!!
Me: That’s why women are beautiful. No man would put up with their s~~~ and procreate if they weren’t beautiful.

Don't stick your dick into anyone you aren't willing to put up with for eighteen years and nine months.

[MuglintarParticipant 1333]

“why do women menstruate?”
– Because they deserve it.

While being on business trip, an elder superior gave me the advise: “when you come home, smack your woman. If you don’t know why, she does!”

"Him, who delights in solitude, is either a wild beast or a GOD!" - Aristotle (Aristot. Pol. 1.1253a) 1 Hom. Il. 9.63; the passage goes on: ἐστὶν ἐκεῖνος ι ὃς πολέμου ἔραται.

[MuglintarParticipant 1333]

When Adam asked God for a mate, God answered “I’ll give you a smashing beauty, honest, devoted, willing to take care of you and your children, who will love you eternally and will always put your needs before hers, but to do so, I’ll need one eye, one arm and your left testicle”

“Whoa, that is quite a lot you’re demanding,” Adam negotiated, “what can I get for a rib?”

"Him, who delights in solitude, is either a wild beast or a GOD!" - Aristotle (Aristot. Pol. 1.1253a) 1 Hom. Il. 9.63; the passage goes on: ἐστὶν ἐκεῖνος ι ὃς πολέμου ἔραται.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

A young girl was brooding at the breakfast table one morning. Her mother asked her,
“What’s bothering you, sweetheart?”
“I couldn’t sleep last night, so I came to your room and saw Daddy on top of you. It looked like he was hurting you. I got scared, and had nightmares for the rest of the night.”

Her mother said, “Honey, it’s OK. Mommy & Daddy were making love. It’s where babies come from.”

A few weeks later, the little girl was quiet again at breakfast, and her Mother asked her what was wrong.

“I couldn’t sleep again last night and came to your room and you had your head in Daddy’s lap, and he had his hand on the back of your head holding your head in his lap. It looked like you were trying to get up, but he wouldn’t let you. I got scared and had nightmares for the rest of the night.”

Her mother said, “Honey, it’s OK. Mommy was using her mouth on Daddy. That’s where jewelry comes from.”

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[$$$Crenshaw1118Participant 516]

did you know there are 150,000 battered women in the United States.

And all these years I’ve been eating them plain.

[Y_Participant 4591]

A sixth grader went to his mother and asked “Mom can you tell me how I came into this world?
I want to know everything – don’t leave anything out”.

Mother (choking on her coffee) “aaah yes – the stork brought you nine months after I married your father”
Son (looking upset) “ok then – what about you – how did you come into this world?”
Mother (turning red) ” uummm — grandma found me in a cabbage patch”.

Son turns to his grandma sitting watching TV “How did you come into the world nana?”
Grandma ” why – I was found in a basket by the river – the way all nanas are born”

Boy goes back to his room and starts writing his school term paper

“Dear Mr. Harris – I cannot complete my paper on childbirth as I have found out there has been no sexual activity in my family for at least three generations. Sorry”

[Y_Participant 4591]

I also have a very rare picture of the most feared KGB assassin active in the field today. The Terminator (Russian терминатор)
He could be anywhere…after anyone…..and…..completely ruthless.

/content/uploads/9815/i/20161128_165631_269ad6/583c61bfa4de0.jpg

[Anonymous 0]

Y_ wrote:

I also have a very rare picture of the most feared KGB assassin active in the field today. The Terminator (Russian терминатор)
He could be anywhere…after anyone…..and…..completely ruthless.

/content/uploads/9815/i/20161128_165631_269ad6/583c61bfa4de0.jpg

+1 made me laugh

[Y_Participant 4591]

@ M52
Glad you liked it mate
Have good Christmas

[Author]

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