Hello brothers! 32-year old man from The Netherlands saying hello.
I made an account yesterday and wanted to start typing immediately, then found out I had to wait 24 hours afore I could do so. Time’s up now and I’m ready to roll.
After reading many of the heartwrenching stories of other men here I saw I didn’t experience that much negative stuff! I planned on taking the name Dutch_mgtower or Dutchie, but found out the latter is already taken (ha kerel, hoe issie?), so I decided to pick the name of my favorite game’s protagonist: Lord Nerevar Reborn 😉
I guess I’ve always been kind of a mgtower ever since I was about 14-16 years old. Wasn’t really interested in girls/women, being a late-bloomer and all that, but even as I got a little older, there still wasn’t the general feeling of wanting to be in a relationship, mostly because I’ve been bullied at school from the age of 8 to 16, and a couple of those bullies were vile, ugly girls.
Never really had the urge to have sex with one either (I’m 100% straight, I can tell you that) until I hit the age of 23. There was this woman I enjoyed hanging out with, despite being in some sort of a fight the years before (her brother and I really didn’t like eachother on a forum and she obviously chose his side, even if she didn’t like him at all). She had a kind personality for sure, but if I look back now, she could easily have been a hardcore feminist today if only her body would be an indicator. Yes, she was fat, but I didn’t mind. She was shy, timid, sweet and silently begging for a guy to love her. One night, after a couple of drinks, I saw her online on MSN and blurted out the sentence that I felt like kissing her. I went over to her parent’s place, we stood outside for an hour or so, and kissed. It felt good. It eventually became a relationship with both of us figuring out how to behave in one in the first few months and it was great. But then she started asking me why I never bought her anything nice, why I never took her somewhere and why I chose hanging out with my buddies instead of spending (another) night alone with her.
What followed was her demanding that I didn’t go to an evening/night of drinking with our mutual friends, but again spend the night with her. I told her I wanted to go to my friend’s place and so I went. A month later, my favorite music festival started (Graspop Metal Meeting in Belgium), this was in 2006. I told her it was my idea of vacation and no-one could keep me from doing it, even if she wouldn’t be able to come along due to financial stuff. She got p~~~ed, ranted that I’d probably wanted to f~~~ other women (yeah, she changed in slightly more than a year’s time) and that I didn’t find her attractive anymore. I shrugged, told her she was seeing things and went back home, packed my stuff and went to the festival. She gave me the silent treatment for more than a week and caved first. I simply didn’t care about her being silent and I guess she got the message I was not to be toyed with, especially not my feelings.
After that, we had an on and off relationship, but in the end, I felt we were more like buddies than a couple and I broke it off for good. After that (I really have to stop repeating certain words!) it became obvious I created a monster by destroying every wall that kept her safe from harm, because the real personality inside her was a screeching harpy, dodged a bullet there! Friends told me she found a new guy 2 weeks after we broke up and he was a real big good guy. One she walked all over and commanded him around. Dodged another bullet there!
Four years passed by, with my having 3 different jobs (all in libraries) until I contracted a curious affliction. I felt odd and not like myself, but I clenched my teeth and just kept going. In that same time, I got a new girlfriend, quite different from the first one. She was outspoken, sweet and had a love for tech, nerd stuff and tinkering with her old car and motorcycle (she fully restored and rebuilt her own car, that’s awesome), but she didn’t care much for cleaning her place, cooking or personal hygiene. I could live with that because I didn’t live there, but it struck me as odd: aren’t women supposed to be almost neurotically concerned with looks and keeping the place tidy to impress other women? She was awestruck by me actually cooking, cleaning my place, doing my own laundry, etc.
After a few months, my illness got worse and I had to stay at home because I couldn’t muster the energy to go to work, or to her (it was about 1,5 hours driving from my to her place). When I could, I went to her place, but couldn’t do more than sit on couch or lie down on said couch, something that made her angry because she wanted to go out. I told her she could go, that I’d stay at her place, but she took that as a dare (fine, do whatever you want) and stayed home as well, being angry with me at the same time. She started to not respond to hugs, kisses, or me trying to initiate sex. Sitting on a different couch with her laptop on her lap, chatting with other people (never letting me see the conversation) and generally shying away from me whenever I felt like touching her.
A bit later, I didn’t have the energy to have sex, which obviously meant to her that I didn’t find her hot anymore or that I slept around with other women. Sigh. When she came to my place, we had the same kind of boring evening and she decided to end it. I didn’t argue. She packed her stuff, I gave her a last kiss and sent her off, then grabbed a few beers and played a game. Finally some fun!
Jumping from 2010 to 2014. After living with my parents for 3 years due to my condition, I got my own place again. I still can’t work thanks to cerebral celiac disease, hyperacusis, hyperventilation and more crap, but I’m living a, in my eyes, mgtow life: I have the place decorated to my taste, cook healthy food (opposed to my ex gf’s neverending microwave meals), keep my apartment clean enough so you don’t see dust lying around, play videogames, jerk off to porn and don’t have a nagging thing to spend time and/or on! It’s not much of a life, but I spend the days the way I want to spend them and I don’t have to answer to anyone or be careful not to rub someone’s feeling the wrong way.
After reading several topics here, I realized I did as much as I could for my ex gf’s: bringing intelligent opinions to discussions, using logic and reason while they mostly expressed their feelings. I fixed their problems (not really handy, but I know my way with computers and can figure out how to fix other stuff, but not handy enough to do them myself), praised them, but never spent more money on them than I thought they deserved. I had my blue pill moments, but I feel like I’ve been mgtow most of my life, taking no crap from any woman.
Right, it’s been a lot longer ramble than I originally intended to type, but I guess I had to get it off my chest.
Peace.
"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K
LeoYourKing 3 years, 11 months ago.
