“You mentioned that her friends and family contacted you with abusive messages. Were these men and women or just women?”
This was a mixture of both. I received a text from her dad which wasn’t particularly bad, but was critical of me cutting her daughter out of my life when I was the one doing wrong (that’s what he’d been told) I received a text from her blue pill male friend calling me “a spade head ugly c~~~” that’s the first time I think I’ve ever been called ugly and I know it shouldn’t have but this deeply affected me…still does. Her sister (who is nuts) sent me a rather colourful message which I won’t repeat and her best friend sent some essay via whatsapp about how I’m a cheat and a lying scumbag and that its totally my loss. She’d informed them I was a controlling cheat, and a bully plus much more. Basically this was all projection. Everything she had done, she informed her family and friends I was doing. I know this is common with a lot of personality disorders. I’m fairly certain she has borderline personality disorder.
“Did you do something you regret that you haven’t told us yet?”
Stick my dick in crazy.
“Do them seem to have same character issues as she does?”
Both sisters are totally nuts. One’s a relationship hopping whore and the others a lesbian. i know they had a tough upbringing, the mum was incredibly strict and there was a lot of pressure on them to do well. I did try and delve into the upbringing as much as I could but my ex was a little closed off about this. The dad is the only one, who to me seems normal.
“Along those same lines, what exactly was she telling your family and friends? Was there any truth to what she told them at all?
The gist was that I was an extremely abusive, bully with serious psychological issues and need help. Some of these message were feigned as concern (he needs therapy). My friends and family we were well informed of her behaviour. Also the notion of me being anything close to what she was describing was laughable to those who know me well. I’ve always been a kind hearted, decent guy.
“You stated that your confidence is shot because of this relationship. Can you specifically identify what it is that’s bringing you down? Do you miss her? Did you do something you regret? (besides the heavy drinking and lack of working out you mentioned already) Do you feel foolish for falling for her? Are you struggling to put aside all the nasty things she said about you?”
My confidence is shot for several reasons. The comments I’d received from her male friend had some impact. The fact I’d fallen for an extremely disturbed individual has caused me a lot of self-doubt. Being cheated on is incredibly emasculating and the has certainly led me to believe I was never good enough (if that makes sense). In a sick way I do miss her, but this was a toxic relationship and so became like an addiction for me. I know it’s nothing more than an addiction, and one I’m getting over day by day. I have no interest in communicating with any of her family. I have attempted to explain their behaviours to her with zero impact (even with screenshots of messages I’d received from her). My only tactic now is go NC and stay in the bunker until this all goes away. It’s not easy and every day is a struggle at the moment. It was a toxic relationship and I do have to take my share of the blame. This wouldn’t have happened without my involvement and I fully intend on never making these mistakes again.
