New Member, Newly Single, Newly Rediscovering Myself

[Anonymous 0]

So my story’s not one of bitterness or of anger or anything like that…but rather one of utter astonishment of how much you can change (and be changed) over the course of a marriage.  I’m recently single (just going through my divorce) after 14 years of marriage with two awesome kids.  I’m a total nerd/geek and have always been shy from a personal-perspective, but very outgoing, social and vocal when it relates to my career/technology.  I ended up getting married fairly young (24) likely because I didn’t think I could do any better (you know, early 20’s self confidence issues).  At that age, I had all kinds of hobbies and interests (video games, cars, woodworking, climbing and mountain biking, etc) that for whatever reason (money, time, kids, wife) I no longer participated in later in life.  So fast-forward to recently where my ex walks up to me a few years ago and basically says I don’t think I love you anymore….WTF?  I was angry, p~~~ed and horribly upset…but when I actually started to think about it, I realized that it was a mutual feeling.  I liked her as a friend (and as my kids’ mother) but not as a wife.  But the most startling thing was what started to happen when I asked myself what I liked to do, what I liked to wear, what I wanted my house to look like….I had changed so much and didn’t even realize it until that point in time.

I was also in a unique situation because at the time all of this was going on, I was in the middle of a 3-year adventure with my family where we are traveling around in an RV seeing the country — imagine having to deal with all of this s~~~ while not physically able to escape nor legally divorce or separate!  But, everything worked out in the end…we are all still talking to one another, and I bought my own house with my own money and am setting it up exactly how I want it to be set up (with is a total 180 from what it would have been if we were together).  This process has been incredibly cathartic and is totally allowing me to become the person that I should have been all along — a confident, successful, happy man.

[ForNoOneParticipant 0]

thank you for sharing and good luck with your revelation. I was lucky to get out after 3 years.

[Author]

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