Sirs, Gents,
I’ve browsed your forums anonymously for several months, learning from the stories people have offered up. A lot of you have endured hardships at the hands of women, and so my path to MGTOW may not seem as arduous, but I make this intro as a way of trying to deal with the events that have happened, and try to come to some sort of working relationship with women.
A little about myself, I am British, late 20’s, Military Officer, Pilot by trade, and single for 4 years. The term MGTOW has only just become new to me, however looking at the things that the concept values, I would say that I have been embracing it for several years now, and I will try to explain why.
My interactions with women have never been great, from early school years I wasn’t “attractive” or “cool” my friends had girlfriends, but I studied. The first push down the MGTOW path was in my late teens, my first girlfriend, first “love”, after 3 years together I was cheated on after a week at uni.
Subsequently I had a string of girlfriends, none really lasting longer than a few months, all showing some sort of crazy, manipulative tendencies. I believed myself to be the problem, I wasn’t good enough, I couldn’t attract the right sort of woman. I went to the gym, tried a bit harder, no results. Fast forward 4 years, strings of short relationships with little to show other than a notch on the bedpost, finally was with someone that was tolerable, she told me she loved me, I couldn’t say it back, something wasn’t quite right. We ended; that was my last serious girlfriend.
All that was a very long way of saying I had a poor interactions with women from young, cheated on multiple times, dealing with mood swings and arguments, none of it particularly out-of the ordinary, if perhaps a little unlucky. However, the thing that would cause me to wash my hands of women would be one single event, not even directed towards me.
The night in question I had come home from work to my parents house, I would normally make myself something to eat as most of the family had eaten by then. I was welcomed home by my mother who offered me a bacon sandwich, this was my first indication that something was wrong. A bacon sandwich, to my mother, does not constitute a decent evening meal. I accepted, went to the living room to see my father staring blankly at some mind numbing reality TV. Second indication. He hates reality TV. I decided to sit and wait for some explanation.
It came shortly after the bacon sandwich; my dad had been arrested. I was dumb founded, my father is an honest hardworking man. He had always been employed, always provided, raised me in true British stiff upper lip fashion, with respect and values. I couldn’t imagine him being arrested. The explanation furthered, it was for sexual assault.
As background, as myself and my siblings grew up, my parents decided to foster as they liked “parenting” the latest they had was a young girl, 18, who was pregnant. Her mother had been incapable of looking after her, so the authorities gave them to my parents. She gave birth to the child at our house, and was now raising it with my mother acting a guide. As part of the fostering process my parents had to keep a diary on how she was tending to the baby as the authorities were also worried for its well being. The diary did not read favorably for her, and she was in danger of loosing it, so she did what every woman has the ability to do.
I remember sitting there as my mother explained, she had gone to the police, accused my father of touching her sexually, and inappropriately. He was arrested immediately, and put in a holding cell, details taken, record created, life changed in a fleeting moment by a few words from an 18YO girl. She was immediately removed from my parents care, placed in social housing with her child who she could now keep.
I cant express the emotion at the way I felt. My father, my idol,a decent honest man was destroyed in an afternoon by a lying child. I had a whole host of thoughts of what to do, most of them bad, some of which I am not proud of. “The system” meant to protective people, so easily perverted to destroy our lives, that was the power she had, a simple word, no evidence. Clearly the event never took place, but there were no repercussions for her lying, and the record is permanent. She got what she wanted, the consequences didn’t occur or matter to her.
It felt like this belonged in a film, not real life. I confided only in my boss at work, I personally have not spoken about it to anyone else until this day, but I feel it is damaging my ability to interact and trust women.
The aftermath?
I joined the military, pursued a job that I loved, I now fly helicopters, go to the gym for my health, own my own house and car, am teaching myself piano and enjoy computer gaming.
My family has moved on, no lasting damage to them it seems.
From what I have heard the girl now has a second child, by a second dad, still single, smokes, and will never actively contribute to society. I wonder if she realizes what she did that day.
I have contemplated looking her up, but decided against it, no good can come of it.
Those of you wondering about my first girlfriend; married, and fat.
I haven’t had a proper girlfriend since then, I can’t trust them. I date intermittently, I feel I have little to gain from a relationship other than sex. I say intermittently as in today’s dating world where I perceive women demand so much but give so little, I run out of motivation quickly.
I am sometimes jealous of my friends, they are all married, some expecting children. I don’t believe that is something that I can have now, I also believe that they aren’t as happy as they make out to be, so its no great loss.
I imagine in the eyes of some of you this is a lesson learned early, I tend to agree with that statement the majority of the time.
Sirs, Gents, I hope that this hasn’t come across as a woe-is-me woman bashing essay. I mainly wrote this as a way of trying to rid myself of these demons, maybe it will help me, maybe it wont. For those of you that read all of it, perhaps it was interesting to you. I’m not sure how it has served as an introduction, but it was the thing that lead me away from women, away from dating and down the path of self improvement.
I am Kael’Tyr, and I am trying to become a man going his own way.
Thanks for reading.
Kael’Tyr 3 years, 2 months ago.
