New "dating" app

[TaxGuyParticipant]

A friend of mine and I were talking last week and came up with a pretty fun idea. It’s a new “dating” app. Why dating in quotes?

Well, let’s say you’re thinking that you might want a girlfriend. When that nice little thought goes through your head, you just download our girlfriend app. Let’s call her “Judy”.

Once you download the app, you begin to get text messages.

Hi! What are you up to? Were you thinking about me? LOL!
Some asshole at work didn’t mention my new haircut! I can’t believe it. He must be gay.

I want to go out to dinner tonight.
you reply “Cool, anything sound good?”
I can’t decide but I’m starving. I will LITERALLY go anywhere!
Ok, how about sushi?
Oh gross no sushi. I went to sushi with a friend a couple of years ago in August after a night of drinking and threw up. So now I can’t eat sushi in August. But I will go LITERALLY anywhere!
Mexican?
NO!! My boyfriend three boyfriends ago broke up with me at a Mexican restaurant. No Mexican. But I’ll LITERALLY eat anywhere.

And Judy has GPS. So when you’re walking into the grocery store, you can expect the following text:

If you’re at the grocery store, can you get me tampons? Extra large….Shark Week!! LOL! And hurry, I’m LITERALLY sitting on the toilet right now waiting for them.

Every once in a while when you are driving, a voice comes over the radio via bluetooth:

WHY DIDN’T YOU TURN RIGHT BACK THERE? You LITERALLY almost killed me! Just pull over and ask for directions. You’re such an asshole.

Even better, because out of nowhere you will receive the random:

We need to talk.
You – About what?
If you don’t know then I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe you don’t even know what you did wrong. It’s bad enough you did it, but I can’t believe you’re so callous that you don’t even know what you did! My mom was right about you!! And to think I could have gone out with that doctor a couple months ago that friends tried to set me up with.

Oh, and if you ignore a text, then the texts begin to come faster and get meaner until you answer. If you continue to ignore, your phone will begin ringing and not stop until you answer.

We are going to charge $9.95 for the app. It will save you millions. Best return on ten bucks you’ll ever get.

Order the good wine

[AwakenedParticipant 35204]

I knew a couple “Judy’s” back in the day, and they were Both CRAZY.

Good Name Choice for your App !!

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Anonymous 18]

$9.95 is justified if Judy’s notifications can’t be turned off/muted.

Moreover, the app ought to crash once a month and freeze your phone.

[SwimcatParticipant 3598]

Ever notice the GPS always has a women’s voice?

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

Mine sounds like a British guy. Or Mr. T. “TURN RIGHT FOOL”!

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[SH3LLZParticipant 5569]

Oh I get it. That app is a teaching tool… A deterant, if you will…

Lol

#ICETHEMOUT!!! #MANOUT!!! #HIDEYOURWEALTH #VAGINAISWORTHLESS

[JustAnotherGuyParticipant]

I love everything about this idea. Make it a recurring subscription though. $0.77 a month. Yes, I picked that number on purpose.

Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

JustAnotherGuy wrote:

I love everything about this idea. Make it a recurring subscription though. $0.77 a month. Yes, I picked that number on purpose.

No. It should be 7.07 a month.

Turn that upside down and it spells “LOL”.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Author]

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