Need guidance.

[KillaKParticipant 2]

Hey guys. I have found myself researching MGTOW, and I have to say i agree. I decided it made sense and would like to put some of the practices into my life. The only problem I have is that I am having trouble coping. The thought of missing out of on family and ending up alone scares the crap out of me. I know it would make my life much easier and stress free, but being as Im a N00B at this, the monumental change in my core values itself has shaken me up quite a bit. The question I have would be, how did you cope knowing you won’t have a traditional family at first and how would you say your  state of life is now? Any help is really appreciated and I know this is a good community turn to for help. Thanks and forgive me if theres typos, Im on my phone currently.

[MaryjanegirlsParticipant 8]

A man who does not have selfishness as part of his morality is not life that belongs to him…Love and altruism Will make a rational man gullible besides there’s nothing wrong with being alone can’t to Stand yourself good luck brother

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

We are all alone. Yes we have family and friends but in essence … there is nobody going to take your place with life events. Even in death …. we must face alone.

That being said ….. you could be surrounded by wife and kids … with you 24/7 and then …. bang …. she and they have gone.

You see being voluntarily alone is one thing, being abandoned is another.

Men by nature are solitary. We are drawn to the wilds. It is social construction that we live in a pack. That’s what women do.

It seems to me that you have been conditioned to feel wanted and valued within a hurd …. that’s how ‘they’ want you.

Become at peace with yourself and you will find you’re not lonely but rather independent and self sufficient.

[slardy mcbardfastParticipant 118]

I reckon consider the words of Robin Williams (roughly para-phrased)

” I used to worry that the worst thing would be to end up alone. I was wrong. The worst thing is to end up with people that make me feel alone”

[FrankOneParticipant 1417]

Children aren’t for everybody.  I’m 45 and childless.  I was leaning towards being childless in my 20’s and 30’s but back then, still open to the possibility of children.  I have no regrets.  With me it could have gone either way, though, kids or no kids.  The woman I lived with in my 3o’s didn’t want kids, and in my view, no couple should have kids unless both partners want them.  There is was too much pressure from relatives/family to fit into a cookie-cutter existence with the SUV, 2.2 kids, McMansion, and corporate enslavement of the Man to pay for it.

I wouldn’t fear ending up alone.  Many of the elderly are without families — many are widows and widowers and have kids they see only a few times a year — you may end up alone even with a spouse or live-in woman.  I will confess, I’m somewhat of a loner, but even if you’re more social, you can make friends and do activities with other bachelors or platonic girlfriends — and later, move to a retirement community.  You’ll also have more FREEDOM in who you associate with, instead of having to visit in-laws and the wife’s friends your despise.   You will likely retire earlier and have more time for leisure than if you have a family.  You will not have to compromise about where to live, what kind of work to do, vacations, when to retire, how to spend money, etc.

My state is happiness; I do what I want, when I want.  Some might call it irresponsible to not have the wife and kids, but plenty of others are reproducing — it’s not like your decision means the end of humankind or a culture.  I don’t see an imperative to continue part of my genes or as a real way to achieve some sort of immortality, when they will be diluted anyway after a couple generations.  I’d probably have more influence on the next generation if I was a teacher, writer, or youth leader, than if I had children.

I also think there are some misconceptions about bachelors; I’ve had sex with only 2 different women in my entire life, whereas the perception is bachelors are players.  I see nothing wrong with players if they are upfront, though.  By the time you’re my age, marriage is completely out of the question on the simple grounds of economics; I’ve worked in a professional field for 23 years and saved most of my income… Marrying some divorcee or spinster would be foolhardy.

I don’t think kids are for everyone, if you can’t support them and provide a loving home, and teach them work ethic I don’t think it’s a good idea to have them.  I also don’t think it’s a good idea to have them if YOU won’t enjoy parenthood.  Also, if you want kids and have enough money, I see nothing wrong with having them alone.

I don’t know if there’s ‘programming’, but certainly, an ‘expectation’ to find a ‘good’ man/woman and have children.  I don’t think this expectation that you produce grandchildren is healthy; albeit, at my age, my Mother isn’t talking about grandkids but still wants a ‘good woman’ for me.  Fortunately my brother has offspring so that helps avoid concerns about grandkids.

[MGTOW4LIFE1990Participant 18]

I’m new to this and so far so good. I’m actually looking forward to being alone. Who’s to say we will reach a very old age. We can be gone within the next couple seconds in a snap. Life is too short. I sometimes think and wonder if I will ever be alone if I get old. Well that is if I am fortunate to reach to that age. For me all I really need in my life is my intermediate family, my small group of male friends and now my new friends on here. I doubt I will ever be alone. When you talk about relationships, too be honest, I’d rather have a dog over a woman. I don’t have one now but I will definitely look into that as I get older and get my own place. The main thing is even if you’re alone, I’m sure you’ll be happy…I know I will. It takes time but eventually you will get over that alone phase and it wont feel any different than not being alone. Stay busy, do what you love to do!!!

[MKBParticipant 51]

Basically you are afraid. Fear is a good thing. The instints that tell you to bang a woman are the same ones that are making you afraid. The family life that you think you will enjoy is an illusion, a hope, a dream. It is dream many people take advantage of, especially women. All you need to do is understand that fear. Are you truly afraid of being alone? or are you afraid of losing hope and using being alone as an excuse to not change? Many people fear change in general and you must always remember that the only person that can fully understand you is you. What you are experiencing is basically life, so pick whatever illusion you prefer.

[KillaKParticipant 2]

Thank you to everyone who replied. They really are helping me come to peace with my decision. Thanks.

[RoyDalParticipant]

I wish you the best, whatever path you choose. I chose to be single and do not regret it. I know people who married young and stayed married the rest of their lives, relatives, friends and neighbors, so it is possible. Possible but not probable these days. They were from a different generation and were not raised with the beliefs young women are these days.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

I coped by deciding what I wanted and needed to be content.
No sex til I get snipped for starters…
Discover and in many ways rediscover myself.
It was not easy, many things I once enjoyed, was back in my young man days. (I am 46 now)
These are things I do on a daily basis, to help with the day to day coping.
Music, hobbies, whatever floats your boat here 🙂
I then made plans that took a few years to pull off, but I finally got it sorted now.
Moving from CO to NC and living in my old rv. Makes my living expenses more doable.
My next goal is to get land and then take StealthyMGTOW’s advice on rental property.
That is just too sweet of a deal to not capitalize on, if I can get it off the ground.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

i got married because i wanted kids.  i married a woman who i thought would be a good mother.  she’s a decent mother but was a terrible wife so i divorced her.  now i see the truth.  there are kids with my dna but they are not really mine.  they never were. nothing is yours that can be so easily taken away.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

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