My understanding of sex drive

[Anonymous 3]

I have gone through a long road in understanding sex. This might be a personal interpretation of the thing, so I wanted to get your feedback if you see it like me.

Before marriage I was viewing sex as a natural and wonderfully thing, but nothing special. Obviously I wanted new experiences and had fantasies I wanted to try out.

Right after marriage things changed. There was a baby, the wife gained weight and was “insecure”. So, despite all my reassurements, sex dwindled and I started suffering.

Why the hell was I suffering for something that previously was not that important?

All I knew was that I wanted and could not have, while was accused of being “insensitive” for asking. You all know the script:
– guy stops asking because the denial hurts (why?)
– guy tries to learn the new rules, so that he can create all the necesssary conditions (but rules change or simply do not work)
– guy makes plans to be romantic, buys sex toys, sexy clothing… Anything to make her more interested in sex (she carelessly dismiss the attempts).
– finally guy starts researching the problem…

I found lots of advices, saying that you had to be “helpful”, romantic, sensitive.I even got some vitamins (natural stuff) that where supose to help her… Nothing ever helped.

Then one day I found an online course on being a “quality husband”, and started understanding women and especially myself.
The first and most important distinction is how we perceive sex.

Women are EMOTIONAL beings that need EMOTIONAL stimulation to get physical satisfaction. Men are PHYSICAL beings that need sex to get an emotional satisfaction.

I was overwhelmed with this teaching: men are shamed for ONLY WANTING SEX, but actually search EMOTIONAL FULLFILMENT, while women’s fulfilment IS SEX?

As I looked at my feelings I understood that my pain was not only the frequency of sex, but also the quality; how much my wife wanted to have sex with me. It would not happen if it was only physical.

Absorbing these revolutionary concepts I changed the framming of my value. My validation was no longer external and in the hands of my wife, but in myself. I had to see value in my own actions and build myself to a quality male. Then, according to the theory, my wife would react sexually to me, instead of me reacting to her.

At the end it did not work like this, since my wife did not react as expected. I realized that we did not share core values and she would never value my values over her’s. So I had to replace this women for a more compatible one.

At this point I realized that my pain had been propelling me through this learning process. So, was I supose to learn more? Was I simply avoiding further improvement? The situation was not completely clear.

Then one day it became clear. I was chasing an illusion of fulfillment, doing all these changes in myself for the sake of one instinct. Please note that we can control instinctive behaviour, but cannot NOT HAVE IT. I have been reading in mgtow that even here men’s mind is sex and womem. That is just how we are build.
Women say we are “pigs” for being what we are and have to “learn” to control our instincts.
But they have instincts as well, they are emotional, they behave and dress to attract men. They are certainly proud and defend THEIR NATURE.

So, i realized that there is no real control of an instinct, just repression. It works as a pressure cooker, blowing up eventually. We can sublimate the energy into other things, but there is always a hole and the man is incomplete.

My solution was full understanding of what is behind this. I analized all that excited me and realized why it was exciting. I play detective when womem attract me. I am can see nature’s game.
Women have no power over us except the one we give them.

It is all an inside job, so we just have to know ourselves to beat the game.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Anonymous wrote:

there is no real control of an instinct

Another way to say that is: “attraction is not a choice”.
When that reality is accepted, a lot becomes clear and answers reveal themselves.

You can’t MAKE a woman attracted (and want to have sex with you) on a gut level. She can’t talk herself into it any more than she can talk herself out of it (important!). This is why women say things like “i can’t believe I had sex with that complete jerk!”.

Because attraction is not a choice.

When a man realizes this, he can stop taking women out for dinner to warm her up for nookie, because she doesn’t need to sit through 3/5/10 dinners to “decide” to want to sleep with him. She already decided that in the first 5 minutes. And that’s good news, because any woman who pretends she needs to be wined & dined (or whatever else) is lying to you. She’ll f~~~ another hott guy on a whim.

It’s important for a man to understand this, because women will not openly admit it or “teach” it to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Women say

Who cares what women say.
They will try to teach any number of other lies which you mentioned:

• Men insensitive for asking

Oh really? Asking is actually polite – and lawful – and now she’s pretending you’re “insensitive?” for that. But when she closes her eyes and plunges a dildo into herself, the guy she is fantasizing about didn’t ask “is it OK if I insert my penis into your vagina?”. Of that you can be certain.

• online course on being a “quality husband”

Just be a docile controlled schmuck who never questions anything, quietly pays for everything and never pester her for sex. That’s a “quality husband” if you listen to women.

• Women are emotional beings that need emotional stimulation.

Yes. Let her start a fight and drama for no reason. Pretend to dump her, give her her fix for drama and then have fantastic makeup sex with her. And now she is “stimulated”. F~~~ off. Men invented dildos for women like this. Men have better s~~~ to do.

• Men are ______ and men need _________

Women are not in a position to discuss what men are and what men need – especially when in a relationship with only ONE man. If she has any questions about what that ONE man needs, she may ASK.

• Men only want sex

As opposed to what? All the millions of things women want in order to PRETEND to want sex? Sex is the entire biological point between men and women. Wanting sex with women is what nature intended. What the hell ELSE should he want?? Her soul?

• Men are “pigs”

No. Pigs are pigs. Men are men. Hope that’s clear ladies.
And we’ve seen your bathroom, so cut the s~~~.

• Men have to learn to control our instincts.

And salmon should learn to swim downstream? That “instinct” is exactly why we exist. Any woman who says “men have to learn to control their instincts” is intensely f~~~ing stupid.

blah blah blah…..

All complete bulls~~~. This is a topic you ignore all female advice on because women will never tell you the truth: women are hornier than men and they have more sexual partners than men.

And now everything women have to say about it is bulls~~~.
How about “women are pigs”. Try that on and see if it fits.

The day a man figures put that women have (and want) sex more than he does, is the day it’s GAME OVER for her. They can’t manipulate you with all that other CRAP anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

I had to replace this women for a more compatible one.

Nicely done. Or even better. No woman at all – except for the occasional shag.

As far as women are concerned, there are two kinds of men in the world:

1. Men she wants to have sex with.
2. Men she does NOT want to have sex with.

Women actually attempt to slot men into either category as quickly as possible. No marriage, or 5-carat ring, or number of dinner dates, or any online course about “how to be a quality husband” will ever change that.

Attraction is not a choice. She will either want to have sex or she won’t.
If she doesn’t, no problem. Ignore her completely.

…. and you may even find exactly the same woman will suddenly want to have sex with you now.

Now why would that be?

Ignoring her will get you laid more than any “online course on how to be a quality husband”, because even YOU know that turning yourself into a “quality husband” and giving her everything she said she wanted didn’t make a goddam bit of difference.

If a woman doesn’t look at you and go “yum”. Don’t even bother with her.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

Great story.

Anonymous wrote:

It is all an inside job, so we just have to know ourselves to beat the game.

Well said pal!!

knowing how our brain works, and understanding biological urges is key to mgtow, and freedom!

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Anonymous 54]

Simple fact of the matter…after marriage there aint no sex. I too got tired of the rejection and feeling like a nuisance.These things are natures illusions implanted in our instincts to continue our species.A womans “love” is just an illusion. Sad but true. The sex is the best when shes first trying to snag you. Once shes got you she doesnt have to try and please you any more.Sad but true.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Anonymous wrote:

Simple fact of the matter…after marriage there aint no sex.

The population of men who have exactly the same testimony is simply staggering.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

. Men are PHYSICAL beings that need sex to get an emotional satisfaction.

I don’t need a woman to get emotional satisifaction. My most of my life I was sexless, by choice thought. Giving up on women was the best thing I could have done. I’m emotionally satisfied without a woman. It’s like giving up on alcohol if you’re addicted you see the benefits.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

It’s amazing what awesomesauce you can find for free on the internet e.g., Key’s screeds.

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[HitmanParticipant]

yep, for us men sex is a biological function like taking a p~~~.
my ex wife gained weight and the sex went dead.. typical.
she said she felt “fat’ ..well, she WAS !
i would never tell her she was fat, hell…i wanted our marriage to work .
women have all sorts of psychological issues surrounding sex that men don’t.
it boils down to their selfish needs..
their over inflated ego’s that demand so much of themselves they can not POSSIBLY live up to what their irrational minds tell them ..
cut to the chase..THEY ARE NUTS !

[Author]

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