My story.

[YorickParticipant 32]

Hello all. I haven’t really had a forum I could discuss this, until I found this site. I am 40, have 4 boys under 20, and I am married to their mother, the first marriage for both of us. I worked my ass off finishing college and then grad school while married with children when younger, and at the same time took my wife and children out for fun and on regular vacations. I’ve never been rich, but I sacrificed any extra money and sent my kids to private elementary school, because I wanted them to have the best start in life I could give them. We had a great life, or so I thought. And then tragedy hit. One day, out of the blue, she was upset and said she didn’t know if she loved me anymore, or didn’t know if she was in love with me. It was a shock, out of the blue. She said she was crying randomly, and couldn’t think, and another guy that was hitting on her recently had made her feel good again. I was completely devastated, shocked, and panicked. She had seemed off a little starting a few months prior. Based on some of the facts and an online google search of her behavior, I guessed that she was suffering from depression. About 6 months prior, she lost her godson/nephew that she helped raise, to a drug od. Same day our eldest son was hospitalized with a life threatening illness, which left him hospitalized the entire week. After he was released, the day after the funeral, she had a miscarriage. I realized that those events caused a clinical depression, and got her on meds the day after she dropped that bomb on me. But by that time, it was almost too late. It took a lot of thought, and research, but I realized that there is something called Depression Fallout, which is bizarre and unfortunate circumstance of living with a loved one with depression. That year, 2013, was the worst of my life. She never drank for the first 14 years of our marriage, but suddenly started going out to the bars with other friends who were single or getting divorced. I found texts of her interest in other men. I was begging her to go to marriage counseling, but she really was just a different person from the person she was just a year earlier. Like night and day. I later figured out that she is also an Adult Child of Alcoholics. That has its own set of characteristics, many of which are problematic for living with. But I was raised in a household that does not believe in divorce. And I said that, if my wife was acting strangely because she had cancer, would I leave her? I looked as her depression and sudden bizarre behavior the same way. For the record, I do realize the selfish contractual nature of women’s pursuit of men and marriage. But I blame our culture’s wealth and socialism for ruining that bargain, by encouraging women to be independent and depriving men of their bargaining power though public welfare and child support, while at the same time teaching women that depravity is virtuous. But back to my story. I was tortured by my wife’s sudden madness and apparent intent to throw me out. We had bought a fixer upper, which I was fixing up myself. She pretty much told me not too, because she didn’t want me to move in, when she and the kids moved in. So she felt guilty that I was doing the work. She was going to try to have it done herself.But I kept working, and ignored her desire to discard me. I was well aware of the life she was planning for me. I would be living with my parents, paying a huge child support payment, and alimony. Then I would become the dead beat dad, because I couldn’t make enough to support two separate households. And if I hit bad luck, I could be thrown in jail. And I would have the privilege of visiting with my children on weekends so she could go whoring at the bars. Then she would find a new hero, no doubt with more money than me. And I would really be a dead beat schmuck with the kids then. Thrown out of my castle, disgraced in the eyes of my children and society. I would not accept that. Yet she was hot and cold, and I could not handle the level of insanity that I was forced to endure. I could not figure out a happy ending. I did not want to kill myself, but I did not want to keep living that life, constantly on the bleeding edge of insanity. Then one day, while sitting in the bathroom in a state of numb confusion, I had a thought like a bolt of lightning. I still do not know if it was inspiration or insanity. And it is not really the MGTOW answer. But part of me feels I took back sovereignty of myself and my life, after being adrift for over a year in her ship of insanity that she captained while I was tied to the mast. But it led me out of the darkest hour of my life. It was the first real joy I had felt in year. I felt free. I realized I did not have to live the life she had planned for me. The rejection, kicked out of my own house, my own family, disgraced to my children, and an indentured servant. I could not kill myself. But I also did not have to continue to live. I decided to go on a hunger strike, until death, unless she relented. I read up on the Irish hunger strike, and started drinking water with a little sugar and salt in the mornings, and nothing but water after that. It became apparent after a few days. After a week, people really became worried. But she was not relenting. I guess she thought I was bluffing. I’m not sure if I was or not. At that point, I really didn’t have any great love for life. The truth is, I still do don’t. That was a bitter pill to swallow. When our marriage counselor found out, she said it was extortion. I told her I don’t care. It was extortion for her to decide what my life was going to be, without my input or consent. No one could force me to live that life. The only thing I had any control over was my own existence. And if she felt guilty about my ending that, good. She should. She should have felt guilty about a lot. I liked the idea of everyone blaming her for my death, and her finally feeling something like remorse. But if she only acted out of her maternal instinct to protect her children from losing their father, that was ok, too. I really didn’t care if I lived or died at that point. There is something so remarkably liberating about feeling indifferent about death. It was my life, and I would live it as the king of my castle, with honor and dignity, or I would not live it at all. Death before dishonor was my mantra at that point. I was finally in control of my life again, and felt great. After day 10, when the children found out, she relented. 10 days may sound like a long time to go without eating, but the hunger pretty much goes away after a few days. That was a few years ago. We have a surprisingly normal life today. She is still on medication, though she had a couple bouts of insanity the few times she tried to stop taking them. And she has been attending meetings for Adult Children of Alcoholics. The children are doing well, and have the benefit of being raised by both their mother and father, and don’t have to witness a revolving door of men visiting the house. I don’t know what she really thinks or feels, but she acts pretty normal. As for me, I’m just doing what I gotta do to live and raise the boys, while trying to make our family life as happy and healthy as possible. Part of me hoped she wouldn’t back down, and my life would end. It was a harsh reality to realize that, as Poe said, “all I’ve loved, I’ve loved alone.” But I guess I can’t complain. It could always be worse. I know my life is not the ideal of liberation and self-directed living that MGTOW promotes. But I did not want to live the life of a “dead beat dad” and be her life-long slave, without any of the benefits of being a father and member of a family. Mine was an odd response. But I felt that maybe if men start going on hunger strike and dying for the right to be respected and honored, and women have to start burying their sons, fathers, and brothers, maybe then people will wake up. I was more than willing to make that sacrifice, to show my sons there are some ideas worth dying for. Crazy stuff. Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person. Thanks for listening. This is the first time I’ve been able tell this story an have someone listen that may understand.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Welcome home brother!

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[Chaff/FlareParticipant 3235]

Welcome brotha. Dont ever think of dying again to teach a woman a lesson.

Keep reading man.

When you find yourself in the majority, it's time to reflect.

[Anonymous 54]

My 3rd wife was mentaly Ill. Depressed, suicidel. You must be careful because they can drag you down with them.Ive know hunger ,not fun.Make sure to keep yourself phsycologicaly sound first.. You cant help your kids if you are not. Now eat a big ass cheese burger

Welcome Brother!

[joetechParticipant]

Welcome to sanctuary.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[~BSParticipant 3266]

Welcome! Many of our members are married or previously married, some have children, some don’t. I think you’ll find you’re in good company 🙂

"He didn't marry until now, so he won't ever do it. Think about it, why would a man like him ever marry? It's too late to catch him. " ~some cunt

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome . Liked your story. Been in that dark place before . It is good you have survived. You are amongst brothers.

Got told once living with someone who has a mental illness can rub of on you.The point been that person beleaves there normal and projects that it is you that has the problem.

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[The SavedParticipant 101]

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.

"A man's feelings are inconvenient to a woman's needs".

[Anonymous 42]

Yorick wrote:

Thrown out of my castle, disgraced in the eyes of my children and society.

Welcome to core FEMINISM!

Yorick wrote:

That was a bitter pill to swallow. When our marriage counselor found out, she said it was extortion.

SHE? WTF! Never bring a Ferrari to a Renault shop!

Yorick wrote:

But I felt that maybe if men start going on hunger strike and dying for the right to be respected and honored, and women have to start burying their sons, fathers, and brothers, maybe then people will wake up.

Where the hell have you been? Women already are burring their husbands, sons and family with their monstrous pet beast the COURT SYSTEM!

They can all chew on feminazi boot leather and f~~~ing starve to death for all I care!

[Freeman_KParticipant 3524]

Welcome and thank you for your story. It is stories like this which are all over the place here, why mgtow gave me a great deal of peace of mind after walking away from a crazy female that has all the makings of throwing such bombs around the people in her life. No kids involved so i had this option, would be different with kids. Crazy how they can turn after 14 years overnight into someone else.

The choices we make, not the chances we take, determine our destiny

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Welcome brother.

Been there.
Remember that it is more than she doesn’t love you anymore. She doesn’t give a s~~~ about you ever. All you did was force her to be decent for now.

Good luck

Peace brothers

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Welcome home, Yorick. So many of these stories have consistent threads through them. Read through some of the archived introductions, and know that you’re in good company.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[YorickParticipant 32]

Ecclesiastes has always been one of my favorite books, and that quote one of my favorite quotes. Thank you.

[YorickParticipant 32]

Darksith,
I know. Life’s a bitch. Thank you.

[JimBoLeaParticipant 1891]

WELCOME Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him,

TO PUT YOUR THOUGHTS DOWN ONTO TEXT IS A STEP IN HEALING AND IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

MY FATHER WAS MARRIED 5 TIMES. I NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE BEFORE AND STILL TO THIS DAY HAVENT. I LATER FOUND OUT HE HAD A SECOND LIFE. HE WAS BI-SEXUAL . SOMETHING THAT I ABHORE. MY MOTHER HAD A STROKE AND IS PARRALIZED ON HER LEFT SIDE WHEN MY PARENTS FINALLY GOT DIVORCED , MY MOTHER WENT INTO A RAGE OF PAIN AND AGONY , THAT LITTERALY FLIP HER OUT, CALLING OF OF THIER FRIENDS AND TRASH TALKING MY FATHER. THIS WAS THE DAY OF NO CELL PHONES AND IF YOU WERE LUCKY YOU HAD 2 PHONES IN ONE HOUSE. SO I GOT TO HEAR THE BRUNT OF IT AND THE CONSTANT FIGHTING BETWEEN THEM.
MY FATHER DIED ALONE IN A HOSPITAL BY IS HOMETOWN IN ILLINOIS . I DID DO THE PANIC FLIGHT OUT TO SEE HIM ON HIS DEATHBED . HE WOULD NOT STOP SMOKING. 6 LITERS OF O2 WAS BLASTING INTO HIS NOSTERALS AND THE ONE THING HE ASKED FOR WAS A CIGARETTE WITH A CATCHERS MITT APPARATUS COVERING HIS HEAD , FORCING AIR INTO HIS EMPHYSEMIC LUNGS .

I HAVENT TOLD THIS STORY TO ANYONE, IT FEELS GOOD TO JUST LET IT OUT.
GLAD YOU HAVE MADE IT TO MGTOW .
WELCOME TO THE FOLD.

LILITH IS THE HEAD SUCCUBUS AND SHE LIVES ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Yorick wrote:

Darksith,
I know. Life’s a bitch. Thank you.

Yorick, hard frickin lessons. Life’s a bitch when dealing with a woman. Hardest thing to get into my head when I went through similar thing was no one gives a s~~~. Least of all her. She will get what she wants. Your understanding bodes well. Good luck.

Peace brothers

[YorickParticipant 32]

Thank you, Jim. That sounds like a really rough time growing up. My parents fought, mostly about money. But it drove me crazy. I really wanted to avoid chaos in my kids’ lives. I’m glad you got to see your father. I’m sure he was glad, too.

[Right Coast CanadaParticipant 256]

Welcome, Yorick. Raising your children is a tremendous success so congratulations. I believe most, if not all, men would suffer through the worst of marriages to not destroy the family. To fail, as I felt it to be, as parents. Great work on the grown-up front for the sake of the kiddies.

[CombatRollParticipant 2594]

Yorick,
Your story is unfortunately a common one. Not getting into the root causes, but women think they can shirk their wifely and motherly duties and start acting like they are single.

Drinks,nights out with the girls leads to flirty texts and then they figure out that they can have their cake and eat it to. The courts allow women to kick out good men and then make those men pay for their F’d up whoring wife’s lifestyle.

I can’t imagine that there is a more daunting and helpless feeling when this happens. I cannot speak first hand as I haven’t been kicked out – but my wife started going out when on business trips staying out late drinking, etc. I have a low threshold for this type bulls~~~. Especially when I’m the breadwinner and she is traveling for business travel, some of which was elective in IMO.

I chose a different route than you did. I slammed my goddam fist on the table and said if she wanted to live that life GTFO of the house. I told her I would NOT be leaving this house. I taped her saying she would make up a story that I assaulted her and cops would kick me out. BOOM. I had the tape and it is clear as a bell.

After one fight she said she was leaving for a while to clear her head. I said no you aren’t. She laughed and said she’d do what she wanted. My reply: Go ahead, all of your goddam s~~~ will be thrown in the yard when you get back. You leave now, you will not reinter this house.

I don’t tell you this to say my way was better or to brag b/c I’m still in an incredibly s~~~ty marriage. BUT, I’m taking steps right now to get my ducks in a row to minimize the financial destruction and I’m going to GTFO of this marriage.

Your wife is acting right at the current moment, but never forget it took you starving yourself to get that. Just like my wife, your’s will act up again. Take steps to get your mind and body strong. Look out for yourself. Get in shape, reinforce your self confidence and consult lawyers. Get 2 steps ahead of this bitch and prepare for war.

Gain the upper hand, be strong and don’t be pushed around!

[YorickParticipant 32]

Thank you, Right Coast. I just cannot let a crazy woman destroy my family and children.

And I hear you, Combat Roll. In talking with others, it sounds like this is what women do, especially when they hit a mid-life crisis. They just go nuts. Electro shock therapy and frontal labotomy make more sense now, bc just allowing these crazy women to destroy children, families, and society is insane. Im a pretty agressive guy, and I was not taking the chance of playing tough with her. But I did tell her she can leave if she wants, and leave the kids. Naturally, that wasn’t what she had in mind. Im pretty sure the court would kick me out, order me to pay her support and alimony, and id see kids every other weekend. I couldnt stop her from filing if she really wanted to. So I said, F*ck You, whore. You won’t have to worry about a divorce, but you will have to pay for a funeral and explain it to the kids. Every time one of her friends separates or gets divorced, she gets the wander lust again. But oh well. Too bad for her. I ain’t going down that road. Not living the life she wants to put me in. Thow me outta my house, take my kids, and send me a bill. Over my dead body. Literally. She can go f*ck herself.

[Author]

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