My Journey to MGTOW Update

[NeroParticipant 1466]

Just want to share some info with those still married, those still not convinced marriage is a mistake, and proof to those that did not marry that they made the right choice. Here’s a quick tally of latest experiences:

– Filed for liberating “D” back in June
– Snowflake begged for chance to change. I made no guarantees to stay and made agreement for my full space and freedom. Split all assets and separated bank accounts and credit cards
– Been five months now
– Did things change? No, not really. Sex was better. She lost weight and looks great but that’s a back door plan for hooking a new beta
– How was I repaid for this chance? Constant accusations of cheating, lashing out with pettiness and venom like a snake about any and all subjects. The divorce can not possibly be because of her. It has to be some other reason than her s~~~ty behavior and attitude
– Mutually agreed upon sex has turned into me using her and being cruel, even though we had discussion up front that it was meeting both our needs
– Few weeks ago I stated I can’t stay married any longer. She said that’s not good enough and it’s over. Time to get things moving
– The real c~~~ finally came out
– Refused to use mediator a day before appointment with her
– Pouring on the shaming language of leaving my kids, because I want to move to another state where the majority of my family is. She won’t let me take son, and then accuses me of leaving him
– Compares my parents’ faults with me as I now carry the cross of all my relatives’ past mistakes. For example, my dad left my mom when I was one years old. My oldest is almost 19 and my youngest is 16 1/2. Real comparison there. I couldn’t help but call her a retard for that one
– I can’t leave the house, because it is too f~~~ing expensive to pay on that and rent a place. It must be sold
– Even if I left it for sanity purposes, I don’t trust her to make payments and get ready to sell properly. Too GD irresponsible for that
– Accused me of moving to another state to pay less child support, even though its the same f~~~ing percentage of gross income and the salaries are just generally lower
– I told her that she will be so relieved after divorcing me…silence for several minutes…followed with me telling her she is just angry…more silence
– Refuses to work with realtor I requested and went apes~~~ on him when he showed up, even though she knew he was coming and agreed
– I have to endure all this s~~~ because I have a good amount of equity in this house that I could use to really reboot my life somewhere else
– I will probably have to get an attorney at this point. Sadly, we will waste several thousand dollars to finalize this s~~~

Gentlemen, never ever f~~~ing get married. JFC!! It could be so much worse. I understand that, but I almost think it would be better if she was a cheating whore that just ran off with a Chad. In fact, I would prefer it. When they don’t want to let you go, you are f~~~ing doomed. Women HATE being dumped, especially when married. It will never be their fault. The social programming and HIVE mentality is strong with the force. So strong, I think they use force powers to get mangina judges to give them everything they want, and everyone around them believing they are always the victim. They make you hate and despise them.

I could use some MGTOW brother support right now, especially from those who have gone through this s~~~. Thanks!

[Oz-BlokeParticipant 3233]

Hang in there bloke. No kids so I can’t offer much advice, but totally concur on the NEVER GET MARRIED message –

#ManOut

[Anonymous 0]

Yeah, they always want you back AFTERthey pushed you to the edge. It’s a great big s~~~ test and she lost. She got what she was asking for. Move on. She doesn’t deserve you.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

Thanks for the comments. Yesterday was a hard day, and I consider myself a pretty mentally strong guy. Yes, I don’t trust her to take care of adult things like mortgage or selling a home. I have taken care of all that kind of s~~~ in the past, so it is par for the course.

[Better without YOUParticipant 234]

You are almost there, you are VERY CLOSE to freedom. I haven’t been through this, but will in the future. And yes, they do want to perpetually look like victims. She is doing everything in her power to make it look like she was never at fault, and failing miserably at it, because (wait for it)… IT’S ALL HER FAULT. Her mind is spinning at what GASP! her own mother will say? and OH NO! what will her orbiters think of her dinged smv? This is because they concern themselves with the stupidest s~~~ imaginable. Give her nothing, and keep making small steps to that life you will finally have without her. Do not stay stagnant, unless that is what the situation calls for.

Hoping for the best, good luck.

[Y_Participant 4591]

Take heart – you are almost there.
Never look back. Never make the same mistake again.

As long as you are finally free – the smaller things are not important Put hate aside. Concentrate on your well being and recovery.

You will finally find the peace you were meant to have.
As a MGHOW. It i a great feeling. Be Happy for your future.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

Excellent follow-on comments. Thanks guys! This site is a f~~~ing blessing to all men.

[Anonymous 0]

Have you already worked out the marital settlement agreement? Or are you close? That’s really the big thing that gets fought over. If you have the settlement agreement in place, then you’re pretty much home free.

Since you’re selling the house, I’m guessing the settlement agreement is done or close to done.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

Anonymous wrote:

Have you already worked out the marital settlement agreement? Or are you close? That’s really the big thing that gets fought over. If you have the settlement agreement in place, then you’re pretty much home free.

Since you’re selling the house, I’m guessing the settlement agreement is done or close to done.

I was about to hire the mediator last week to start the process. She refused to use a mediator at the last moment. She just hired an attorney and is more confident now that she will be represented and not “screwed over.” I have been given the green light now to start the paperwork. I will very soon.

[Anonymous 0]

Nero wrote:

I was about to hire the mediator last week to start the process. She refused to use a mediator at the last moment. She just hired an attorney and is more confident now that she will be represented and not “screwed over.” I have been given the green light now to start the paperwork. I will very soon.

Okay, like I say, if things get contentious, then this is the stage where the fight is going to take place: in drafting the settlement agreement.

First off, make sure you have an attorney on your side too. There’s a lot of legal language and small points to be considered.

Then let the attorneys work it out. Just tell your guy what the bottom line is for you, then let the attorneys hash it out. If it goes well, then they can draw it up pretty quick. You and the wife sign it, the attorneys submit it to a judge for a quick look, and the judge enters it into the record and it becomes a legal document defining who pays for what (alimony, child support, etc.) And that is pretty much the end of the process.

Here’s what happens if the negotiations between the attorneys don’t go well: Your wife drags her feet on everything, she holds up the paperwork every step of the way, she refuses to sign off on even the simplest of paperwork. So the process takes about two years, with your attorney having to threaten to take them to court just to get even the simplest paperwork from them. But hopefully even at this stage you can still hammer out a settlement agreement and avoid a trial.

On the other hand, if the two sides aren’t able to come to agreement at all on the settlement agreement, then it’s time for a trial. Which is going to double your costs and add another couple months to the process. But the trial will be the end of it.

I’m assuming that you yourself want to wrap this thing up as quick as possible. So a lot depends on your wife: How cooperative she is (or isn’t), whether or not she wants to fight over every detail, whether or not she gets passive-aggressive and starts dragging her feet and delaying every little bit of paperwork…

If you want a book that will walk you through all the possibilities (including the nightmare scenario of a long, drawn-out battle), then I recommend “Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone With Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD and Randi Kreger.

A spouse with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the nightmare scenario, because they’re combative or maybe just uncooperative every step of the way. So the book really walks you through every step, giving you lots of detail on how to handle things when the spouse is uncooperative or downright hostile.

But of course, I’m hoping for your sake that it doesn’t come to that, and that you can wrap up the negotiations pretty quickly. Like I said in my previous post, the settlement agreement is the holy grail of the divorce process. If you can get that wrapped up pretty quick, then the rest of it is all downhill.

(By the way, I’m not a lawyer. Just been through a couple divorces, including a hostile divorce with an ex who had Narcissistic Personality Disorder.)

[NeroParticipant 1466]

@TwoStep: Your advice is much appreciated and will be put to use.

[Anonymous 0]

Nero wrote:

@twostep: Your advice is much appreciated and will be put to use.

I’ll try to remember to check this thread every so often. Feel free to post or contact me in some other manner if you have questions. Good luck!

[NeroParticipant 1466]

I figured it was about time for another update. One more “awakened while married” MGTOW is almost at the finish line to be free. I have obtained a lease on a nice size 2,300 sq ft. home. I get my keys the 15th of February. I will be accepting an offer on our marital home tonight, which will put us in a 30 day escrow. I’ll make a decent sum on the sale, but not enough to secure a new home any time soon. I was hoping to purchase a home with cash in a lower cost of living area. I’ll be a little short I guess, for that, but I will be free.

The mediator has already started the draft of the divorce settlement agreement. The finish line is in sight. My youngest graduates next June. No matter what she asks for in child support, I am only going to have to deal with about 16 months of payments. Physical custody is split 50/50 – every other full week. She really does not rate child support or alimony, but I offered to pay the kid’s portion of her health insurance plan as a token gift. I can finally see the light. It is glorious!

A POD receptacle container is being dropped off in my driveway as I write this, so I can start moving my s~~~ into it tonight. I hope this gives someone else the strength to make their move. It is worth it to have your freedom. I promise you. Also, make sure you stop making contributions to the 401k. It will only benefit HER in the end with a nice cash payout.

[billtaichiParticipant 141]

Hey, I wish you the best of luck my friend. I have just started the divorce process with my wife I cannot wait to get to the point you are at.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

billtaichi wrote:

Hey, I wish you the best of luck my friend. I have just started the divorce process with my wife I cannot wait to get to the point you are at.

No f~~~s given. Ignore all shaming. Do not engage in hostile making. Do your own thing whenever you want. Do not feel obligated to tell her s~~~ about your life any longer. She is not your friend or your child. Do not feel obligated to take care of her like a child.

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