My exit plan…

[Anonymous 3]

Gentlemen,
I appreciate you opinion on the exit strategy I am thinking at the moment.

It is true that these things are very personal, and relative to our values. However, sometimes we need a kick in the butt for not thinking straight.

I could simply say “f~~~ you, I am leaving”, and that was as good plan as any other… However, I fell into the “tyranny of the weak”, where she “needs” and relies on me for everything. So all my plan is to pacify my conscience and leave her as best as possible, while regaining my sanity and sovereignty.

So, my plan has 3 parts.

1 – Preparation.

First, I am saving some money. No much, just enough for some extraordinary expenses.

Second, I am going to start cleaning up stuff. “My stuff” is actually books, sports gear, a small amount of tools and computer trash. It will be really quick to box to useful and dispose of the trash.
Then I will clean up the “man stuff”, a.k.a. the gardening material. I hate gardening, so probably will trash most of it.
The purpose of this is to clean the house of my presence, anything that reminds her of “me”. It also makes it really fast to get out.

Another preparation is to make the “instructions manual”. She is so used to having a slave around that she is incapable of doing the most common tasks. I was thinking on writing instructions about common stuff and some videos about the computer stuff I do that she need for her own job (that is how f~~~ed up my life really is!)

The purpose of this is twofold: to cut most of the pretexts for communication after going out, and to leave her with a clear conscience that she can do things if she wants to.

2 – Timming.

My wife hit the jackpot: she got sick. What better way to slave a man around even more? The excuse that “I am a sick woman” is enough to ask for help in the most ridicule stuff. And in a small town, the social stigma of abandoning a “sick woman” is a great asset.
So, I waited for my wife to get back to work. That way people see her going back to the normal life, and this somewhat reduces the “sick woman” card.

However, there is a timing to this. She is preparing the “I am to sick to work” bulls~~~ card, and therefore I cannot prolong the situation. It is guaranteed that she will work until Christmas, so I am thinking on the end of the year as a deadline.

On the other hand she has an option to be transferred to her home town, where we have another house. Our daughter is studying there and she “needs help and company”. It would be win-win situation to me, because it would reduce our contacts, reduce the social poisoning where I live, and she would have her family to back her up. But the deadline for requesting it would be at the end May and she would still have to work until July.

This means that if I jump ship at the end of the year she has 6 months to raise hell before going to her home city. I know her to be a vindictive c~~~ when crossed, so I am expecting the worst. I have to plan to minimize the damage.

So, what is best: end of the year or right before May?

3 – Separation.

That is the easy part. During my married life I had 4 opportunities to get the hell out, and every single time I decided that I should give it another try; you know: improve myself…
It worked! I improved from being a blue pill white knight to a full fledged red pill and heading to a MGTOW future.

All that I have to do is start doing whatever I want. I will start by buying a motorcycle and taking a licence to drive it. I am advertising this as my “midlife” crisis to people that I know will gossip about it. F~~~ it! The stereotype invokes great justifications in people’s mind for what is about to happen.

In a more practical approach, it will also be my future transportation.

When she tries to put me back on line then s~~~ hits the fan. But instead of me backing out, I will simply walk out of the house and never come back.

I am thinking of what I am going to say before getting out of the door. I will not say the truth, because its a waste of time. I will not try to make her see how she screwed herself, its another waste of time.

I am just going to say other stereotypes like “Its not you, its me” and “I need my space“. Or even countless variations of “I have lost my feelings for you”.

The aftermath.
I am a cheap SOB. I dont really need stuff and I always hated debts and taxes. Owning two houses and two cars is a slave deal. Not only you have to pay taxes for your own stuff (800 euros a year for your own houses!) but you waste your time and money to keep them. Besides, these houses where build with practically in mind and to please a women: two contradictory goals. Afterwards she managed to kill whatever hint of practically survived the initial plans.

I dont care about any of it. She will get the houses and the money. But I will frame it as a reward for preserving my income and making the divorce amicable. That way I can have money to rebuild my life and contain most of her vindictive traits.
It is actually a poisoned deal: negative interest and property devaluation make those things less than an investment and more of a liability.

I have a plan for something “off the grid”. I want a garage with proper tools to build stuff, just because I want to build them. I want to spend my time doing what the f~~~ I want. Even if it is nothing.

How is my life now.
My wife is bitching me about “being a man” in the house. To her, this means that I should enforce her stupidity upon our children, because the children respect me and hate her guts. She doesnt realize that the kids love and respect me because I dont do stupidity. I have not opposed her stupidity for my whole married life, and that is a f~~~ing betrayal of my values and the well-being of my kids. So, I already did to much to support you, thank you.

I just keep quiet and bite my tongue. Just like the penguins, “wave and smile…”, the clock is ticking.

My mother-in-law is living with us to “support her daughter”. Actually she is supporting me, because her daughter did s~~~. We have a cleaning lady and I did everything else. Some time ago we didnt even have a cleaning lady, and I had to to everything. Thank you mother-in-law for supporting me!

On the other hand, the mother-in-law is as stupid as her daughter, but with a more “saint-wannabe” approach. They band together to “support” the children, and this means bully them into their mindset, do everything for them, and then criticizing everything. I dont need to explain, we all know what a good job women generally do with raising kids.

Let me lay out the situation for all you young people out there. Here is how marriage works: you think you are going to operate like a team, and she agrees with it as long as the team does what she wants and you have all the work.

It comes to a point where you have two choices: either you impose sanity or you sell your soul. If you try to impose sanity, you will have her working against you the whole time. If it is not direct opposition, it is stealthy mind-f~~~ing games.

At some point you either give up and sell your soul or you divorce. By that time you have kids and you feel responsible for them. Wives quickly make sure you have kids because they can trap you by that very sense of responsibility. So, you sell your soul “for the kids”.

Ever heard of deals with the devil? Selling your soul for the kids does not save your kid’s soul. It only makes you an accomplice to every stupid parenting decision she makes. By the way, do you think it is just my case where “she makes all the decisions”? I just call it for what it is, most people say its a “family decision”…

So, you wanted to avoid hurting your kids, but your kids get hurt anyway. The difference is that you allow it to happen.

This ended up being a kind of a rant, as I realized the level of my failures.

“NEVER GET MARRIED
HEED MY WARNING”
Old Sage

[Anonymous 54]

Im flattered!!hahah

Can you young guys see hard hard it is to escape?
Steve Mcqeen would be sweating!

You have not failed anything!!!! Your doing your best in an impossable cituation.

[RoyDalParticipant]

It looks like a well thought out plan to me.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Anonymous 3]

Anonymous wrote:

Can you young guys see hard hard it is to escape?

That it!

Women strategy is to make you responsible for everything. THEY ARE LIKE CHILDREN! Is it easy to abandon a child?

But these grown-up children will make your life a living hell! So, you have to take responsibility for them while they have all the social and legal advantages and rights.

Its a lose-lose deal.

[SolidParticipant 7520]

Good plan brother, everything is more complicated when you have kids.
But keep strong. An uncle of mine done the same process, and everything was “perfect”, he was able to leave her, she didn’t bitch that much because of the default c~~~ behaviour “he wasn’t too good to me”, even he keeps going there to do some gardening jobs until they sold their house.

Everything worked fine because of 2 things, he doesn’t have that much money, she get paid 4 times what he got, he worked hard to make his image in her mind look like a “you could do better, go gurl !”. She got 80% of the house value, he didn’t complain, he just let things go. He lost a lot of money of course, but it was the cost of doing that without further problems, she is gone now, living in another house with another man, everything perfect so she won’t bother him anymore. IMHO he is a genius, I won’t be able to formulate a plan like you guys and keep following it like that, I just explode, get my things and get out of there.

I admire your patience brother !

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

Is it easy to abandon a child?

Rotten little f~~~er bites so yes! Out the window with the minstrel juices needed to CREATE IT! Kill the pollen that germinates the seed that sprouts the enormous tree firmly rooted and growing daily for the sole purpose of a mans utter destruction!

MGTOW BABY! TIMBER TIME!

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

very well written post!

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Chuck WowParticipant 141]

Excellent strategy and a very nice detailed post about your situation and future plans – no doubt you will get through this and reclaim your life again.

I am in the “planning” stage by stashing money and eliminating most of my personal possessions. My goal is to have everything I own fit into a small suitcase and a backpack. I want to be a vagabond, outside of the U.S., within 5 years when I retire.

I have also convinced the wife to put our house up for sale early next year…she thinks we are downsizing rather than me preparing for my escape. I will use the equity to increase our retirement and savings accounts on an equal basis.

My only suggestion would be to prepare yourself emotionally as well in the “planning” stage. Try to distance yourself as much as possible from her in every way. I have no physical contact and minimal conversation with the wife. In my mind I am already single and only a piece of paper is connecting us until the timing is optimal for me. Being alone is something I crave and I highly recommend traveling solo to an unfamiliar place – doing this really changed my perspective. Best of luck!

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Be careful—the first casualty in any war is the battle plan.

[Anonymous 3]

Chuck Wow wrote:

My only suggestion would be to prepare yourself emotionally as well in the “planning” stage. Try to distance yourself as much as possible from her in every way. I have no physical contact and minimal conversation with the wife.

Thank you for your comments. I already do this. My conversations are to the minimum and I don’t initiate any kind of physical contact. I do however still respond when she starts.
Let me state why.
1st, surprise is the only bitch on my side.
2nd, my emotional attachments are already gone. I got so thoroughly screwed that now I can screw without problems.

[Anonymous 3]

Find a new job in another city and bail.

Trust me, her lawyer will NOT care what a “nice guy” a thought you were being.

Thanks Code, I understand your concerns. We can sometimes be caught in the “good boy” syndrome.

I am not going to be a nice guy to her. I will try to leave her with my conscience cleared.
Then I will simply be indifferent.

As for moving, I will not do it. I am expecting HER to go to another city. I have a good job, and I wont let it go. Whatever it takes.

PS. Obviously I will not say that I want her to move. Just like any kid, she would not do it just to annoy me. I will actually insist that she remains here, that is the only way she will leave.

[Anonymous 54]

If it helps, I was a nice guy to my x for years. When the econemy went bad and I was broke, she turned on me. Please please know this..women are not capable of gratitude. There is never NEVER any reason to be a “nice guy”.(unless its a survival tactict)

[SolidusXParticipant 854]

@GhostDog your plan looks sound, a few things I would add are: 1 tell no one what you are doing in regards to leaving, as soon as 1 person knows everyone will know and then it will be hard to get out. 2 I would care less about how your wife will manage when you leave, I would not be bothered to help her with her own computer stuff or really anything else for that matter… it’s about you and not her.

Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit

[Anonymous 3]

SolidusX wrote:

I would not be bothered to help her with her own computer stuff or really anything else for that matter… it’s about you and not her.

You have a point here, and you don’t even know the details.
I wanted to teach her to do stuff, and she would simply refuse to learn. Why would she, since she has such a usefull slave?

Maybe its to considered of my part. It was all her doing anyway…

[SolidusXParticipant 854]

Anonymous wrote:

SolidusX wrote:

I would not be bothered to help her with her own computer stuff or really anything else for that matter… it’s about you and not her.

You have a point here, and you don’t even know the details.
I wanted to teach her to do stuff, and she would simply refuse to learn. Why would she, since she has such a usefull slave?

Maybe its to considered of my part. It was all her doing anyway…

If she does not even bother to learn when you are willing to teach her then she is on her own in my opinion.

Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit

[Rolling Tin FistParticipant 484]

Anonymous wrote:

Women strategy is to make you responsible for everything. THEY ARE LIKE CHILDREN! Is it easy to abandon a child?

But these grown-up children will make your life a living hell! So, you have to take responsibility for them while they have all the social and legal advantages and rights.
Its a lose-lose deal.

I only learned this AFTER swallowing the Red Pill.

Anonymous wrote:

Please please know this..women are not capable of gratitude. There is never NEVER any reason to be a “nice guy”.(unless its a survival tactict)

This too I only learned after the Red Pill.

Basically they are selfish children and a man must respond accordingly.

I won’t exit before the kids are both 18. Wife is sporadically responsible. Which is worse than either extreme, because I never know when she’ll forget to pickup the kids from school or forget to pack their lunch.

Afterwards I’ll likely end up doing what my parents did; still legally married but separate households in separate countries on separate halves of the planet. It’s the smarted thing they’ve ever done and it’s now about 35 years running.

We currently do our own thing and really only interact for the essentials. I do my best to keep it civil and she checked out years ago and does only her bear minimum.

Good luck on the great escape!

"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another" - H. L. Mencken

[Anonymous 3]

Rolling Tin Fist wrote:

Afterwards I’ll likely end up doing what my parents did; still legally married but separate households in separate countries on separate halves of the planet. It’s the smarted thing they’ve ever done and it’s now about 35 years running.

That would work for me also. As long as I don’t have to see or listen to her.
But I don’t think she would accept it: to proud.

Rolling Tin Fist wrote:

Good luck on the great escape!

Thanks!

[Chuck WowParticipant 141]

Afterwards I’ll likely end up doing what my parents did; still legally married but separate households in separate countries on separate halves of the planet. It’s the smarted thing they’ve ever done and it’s now about 35 years running.

How can you protect yourself from being responsible for her credit card and medical bills? I’m in the same boat as you but want to make a clean break in a few years when our youngest finishes high school

[Author]

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