Its a long one but i think its interesting / worth the read.
Im reading my diary for fun right now and I stumbled across some very ‘Hmmmmm’ stuff of which I wasnt thinking much of the time happening. So I was 26 and the last time I had a gf – the only serious one, the one I saw myself with. We were together for 16 months and half of that relationship was bad. Now im 28 and a half… here we go
for those who reads my topics know, that we didnt live together so i was lucky if I was getting it ONCE maybe Twice a month. If lucky! It was like that from the start, and I was tolerating it because she was hot and Im not really a womanizer or a pretty boy.
When we were having sex, it always finished with a BJ and her swallowing. I could go for half an hour and didnt come with penetrating if I didnt want or deceide to do it. She was on the pill and I never wore a condom but I still refuse to cum insider her. So when we had sex for like 4th time she said during sex: ‘WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO, SO YOU WILL COME INSIDE ME?’ I was like WTF, but thought maybe she doesnt like a mouthful every time but then again why swallow it right? So i said ‘would you like me to?’ and she nodded. i said I hope you are not gonna trap me and you truely are on a pill and she said YES. Well I still didnt finished inside her.. actually I did – the same way as always.
So after 7 months we went on vacation. I was working the whole week and then I was driving to a shore where we were for a weekend. When we had sex, i was so tired and exhausted that i just let myself go and after 5 minutes I busted inside her for the very first time. You know what happened the very next day? For the first time ever she came out of the shower, walked to me (I was watching soccer world cup game) she sat on my lap and said she owns me something, since I brought her heavy bags in the apartment the day before. She took my hand and led me to the bedroom. i was a lucky and a happy man. that was the first time she directly initiated sex. without me thinking was that a sign? We had sex and i came – inside her mouth :)) it made me think that her enthusiasm was based on me coming inside her the night before… (few months later she said ‘she as proud of me’ when I did it. WTF?) In the span of 16 months we were together I came inside her a total of 3 times. She was always on the pill but who knows…
So fast forward to more then a year into relationship – was going to sleep and she turned the lights off but i wanted to f~~~ since i was getting it once in the last 7 weeks, so i wanted to grab a rare chance and made a move. we were kissing and undressing and she ‘got up’ and walked to her purse and took her birth control pills. I was like WTF. I said ‘so if we werent making out/f~~~ing’ you would forgot it, right? She said ‘no I would not, that happens many times when im already in bed but then i got up and take it’… The moral of a story is that never trust a woman/gf who said she is on the pill, i mean really? you basically trust her your life and future based on her words. I never f~~~ed her with a condom on, but after that we had sex only one more time and then we split.
When she broke up with me she said how Im not an adult, i cant be with someone for more then a year and not thinking about moving in together, that she wants a baby in a year and what the hell am i thinking? We never had an open and honest discussion about that topic and her plan, but now there it was. her plan to have a baby because in a year she is gonna be 29, and she is ‘old enough’ by her own words… She said i was always making fun of my (mangina) friends who got a gf, moved in with them and now they dont have a life beyond their gf and work. they dont even go for a drink anymore even though we were friends since childhood for 20 years. She said I SHOULD BE LIKE THEM, but i was making fun of them. she also said how she was talking to her mother about me not suggesting moving in together (when i got my place) and her mother mentioned how strange it is that I dont mention anything about the future together! She never discussed things like that with me, but resent me for not reading her mind and go on with her plan that i was not even aware of at that time. Everyone knew about what bothers her about our relationship and why we had crisis and everyone knew her plan – her friends, her family, everyone BUT ME.
but when she dumped me she revealed her cards so easily but never mentioned anything when we were still together. She also dumped me like a sack of potatoes when she realized my plan dont match hers.
That is all from the diary and what I remember. For most parts i didnt think much of it when they actually happens, but now im like I dodged a bullet even though i was so devastated when she dumped me. Now she already has a new guy. She got him 3 months after we split. i wonder if he knows about her plan. Maybe she is already pregnant… i wonder how often he see her golden vagina. When we were still together and I brought the lack of sex topic up for so many times – the last time I did she said ‘YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW’. looks like her vagina is reserved for the one who is gonna move in with her and be her tool/sperm donor. i just know if i was the one, i wouldn see her vagina after a baby for like EVER AGAIN. now im free but im still little f~~~ed up since I actually loved her.
Ascended 3 years, 11 months ago.
