Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › My attempt to understand why I never married.
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IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) 3 years, 11 months ago.
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I am doing this post to explain partly where I come from when I post on here (it is now less because I have other things), and also how I approach being single/living MGTOW.
I am approaching 50. I never have come close to knowing a woman locally to marry. I had, from a distance, done some net romances, but that is a different story. With my life, there are phases.
* There was the sex drive earlier years, where it was physical attraction. Even then, I had a strong interest in games, and that was important. But, I was a struggling college student. There were no resources with me. I had intellect. I was also very self-absorbed with things, and driven by concepts and things. I would keep to myself also, as I work on my career. I attended an Engineering school in college. Other times, I was commuting to schools and no on campus (Associates and Masters work). Even then it was entirely how I felt at a time, etc… I had bad acne as a teenager also, and I started dating late. If it wasn’t for sex drive stuff, I was more than willing to go my own way.
* Then there was the early work years. I worked in the tech field. I found that there were problems even remotely considering doing anything with women at work. I tried singles events in the area, and there weren’t women I was interested in from a looks appearance, or they were broken in a bunch of ways. I am single and they were coming off divorces. Oh, there were several women I knew off and, both of whom came down with STDs (not by me).
* Then there was the prolonged unemployment period. I made contact with a camgirl in the Philippines I kept in touch with over the years. I managed to tip her at times, and did have some feelings, but nothing ever developed. I told her if someone else came along, to go with him, and she got married. She now wants a divorce and is trying to find resources. She is in her 30s without much skills (can’t even cook) and she knows her looks are fading. She wants to get the family going. She is getting desperate. I was also stuck with family in an area with not too many single women either.
* Now I am where I am, with a job, approaching my 50s. I am really working on my own life. All I see is some off and on physical attraction to a woman, but it alone isn’t enough for me to ask a woman out now. I am just into myself and getting things going. A period prior to this, I did see a bit, but just wasn’t focused on that. My situation was unstable and women were just work environment, which I learned was a BAD place to do anything.
Ok, that is my background.
Now, what I have observed with my life, beyond the normal narrative, is that, with women, and who I am, I am not just driven by sex drive, and I am just not getting into any woman as an end in herself. Take out the sex drive, and it is just my interests. I also want lifestyle compatibility with things. I don’t feel a need for this.
I will also add that I had seen, from my YouTube channel, that it doesn’t draw women viewers that I know of. I had one woman replying early and she said she liked Sandman’s videos, because they explain to her the nature of women. I don’t do those videos, so she stopped watching, from what I can tell.
So, I can say what I learned about staying single is that if you keep your resources to yourself, focus on yourself, don’t discuss women, or women topics, and just go about your life, you may get some interest from women from resources. But with like the YouTube stuff, I find that ignoring women will cause a lack of interest. In the years, women have ghosted and drifted from me.
I think, for me, that is why, when I see over and over a fixation on the nature of women, around the MGTOWsphere, I roll my eyes. I find that, to walk the life, it is best for me to just do my life, and not focus on women at all. The focusing, and talking, is a magnet for women, and while useful on the onset, ends up working against walking. It could be that some men are just using the MGTOW label as a way to improve bargaining power, to get women in bed with them. That may explain why Sandman is constantly showing women in his videos.
Anyhow, those are my thoughts. I gotta run. You may find it different.
"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

Anonymous11My story is similar to yours. I’m rapidly approaching 50 and never married. I chased after women very hard up until age 29. I got as close as engagement ring shopping after a two year relationship. Three months later I was out on my ass, and a Chad was in my place. In retrospect, she was just using me to support her through school as she ditched me 6 months before her graduation. Her finish line was in sight so she was finished with me. Today, her Chad is an abusive philandering non-working alcoholic sponge on her the joys of karma. That experience turned me into a purple piller.
I then entered a period of 15 years where it was difficult to meet someone. I was working a very demanding job that paid well, but I was married to it. I learned that online dating is a waste of my valuable time. The women from this phase were either not really over their exs or just playing the hypergamy game. It ended with a crazy several month relationship with a woman who had borderline personality disorder. That one kicked me over the edge into a red pill life spiral.
In retrospect, I never got married for a few reasons. Hypergamy played a role. The fact that I was also stuck in the twilight zone between being a total dominant abusive alpha or a door mat beta cuckold. I never would let a woman control me, but was never abusive so I could never trigger that part of them.
Now, I stand above the fray. The women are mostly land whales. The ones who aren’t still have the attitude. The younger ones who occasionally hit on me are bats~~~ crazy. The blue pill men our age still falsely inflate the SMV of women. The last woman I dated a few times had her using me as bait to make her special forces ex husband jealous as her true motive for associating with me. I did not like that.
It’s a wasteland that I want no part of anymore. The red pill changes everything.
is this your video? its funny!
MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.
@ CP and Richard – Yeah we all seem to be the same ages with some commonalities. Since the age of 35 I’ve only been in 3 serious relationships , and the last was the closest to marriage I ever got. Before 35 I was active sexually , but didn’t have a lot of resources so I guess perhaps I was a bit of a Chad? It’s funny looking back because I lost my ability to drive for a few years(DWI’s) , but still had HB 7’s and 8’s driving me places in their cars and cooking for me , and sleeping with me. When I was 35 I fell in love with a woman I met online who was 28 and we lived together for awhile named (Laura) , of course when she saw a better branch to swing to…well you know that ending. The next one was named Melissa , and I met her online….she was separated and ended up moving to Texas to live with me from California for a year , but I sent her packing after she I caught her cheating on me. There was never any love between us(on my end at least) it was just lust , and so not close to marriage there either. The 3rd one was about the age of 44 (another Laura) and we had so many things in common and similar interests , hell her deceased father was even born on my birthday. So of course I fell in love with her. I thought she was my unicorn. I actually proposed to her with a 3.5 kt black diamond wedding ring(wasn’t as expensive as white diamond but it was impressive looking). She had been divorced and said she didn’t want to remarry at this point because she didn’t feel I had enough resources compared to the dowry she fleeced from her ex. That is the closest I came to marriage. Looking back I was so blue pill with her , I’m ashamed really. F~~~ all of them….the paradox for me is that I still love their beauty , but don’t want to endure their bite.
is this your video? its funny!
<iframe width=”500″ height=”281″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/xW0Q0YDgEu0?feature=oembed” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen=””></iframe>That was a video I did years ago, playing around with something Google had up, to show what I was doing in regards to job hunting and a basketball forum. The guy Mugzi there was extreme rightwing (Fox News is even too liberal for him), and I would speculate he probably supports Trump (he had ultra-nationalistic tendencies, and also got ripped off by Wall Street). I managed to get tired of the endless whining about the basketball team and also the inane political comments, so I had the admins ban me from the site. That just showed one can end up endlessly in a forum and not getting on with their life.
That isn’t my YouTube channel. Go look up “The Sling of David Channel (by Rich)” to see my more MGTOWish content on it. I am on break.
As it is now, I stand on my approach towards things. I do find that if you just go your own way in life, you will end up staying single. Don’t compromise things, or try to put on a false front to impress women, and have what are normally men’s interests, and women don’t stay around. They may see you for resources, but don’t do the PUA stuff and peac~~~. With that will come staying single and a better life. I guess with that, I am good at being MGTOW as a lifestyle choice. I just personally find a bunch of the philosophy and hanging around a bunch of nature of women stuff to be weight I don’t need. The MGTOW nature of women stuff makes things more clear, but I find the real doing things is where it happens.
I am also finding now that it is like I moved past where I was, and I get some stuff related to women which is, “If only that were 6 months earlier”. Now, it is trying to make due with where I am and moving forward. I am not seeing where a woman would fit in at all, with my life. Can she add something, or is it just emotional support? That is where I am now.
With all this, my YouTube channel is in flux, because I took a break to think what I am doing. I see a need to do stuff for Christian men who are single (I HATE it ends up saying “unmarried” as if married is to be the natural state), because there isn’t any. And I know, if I got into endless nature of women videos also, the channel will get trolls hitting it, plus get lost in the noise, and I also don’t believe that is needed, so I am in a state of flux. There is also my regular life, as I am trying to make positive steps that I will do things, and do them, building up integrity, and getting a future.
"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.
I would also add, with my age, there is the baggage issue. In my late 40s, increasingly women I run into not only have children, but their children have children. You have that to the mix. It just isn’t fun. Assuming I even leave looks out of it, and then hold out for maybe some common interests, there is her with kids, and factoring that. One woman I know over the Net is like that, all concerned about her kids and what they would think, so even while I live in the same state as her, there just won’t be any meeting her ever. It isn’t going to happen, and I won’t raise it.
I guess the romance angle involves persistence. But, to be blunt, I refuse to waste any more of my life discerning too forward vs not forward enough. It is easier to just do my life and let things fall where they may. That increasingly means no women in my life, and I don’t care. I had one woman, in response to a Craigslist ad, said I was too forward when we met, or assertive or something. Sorry, I don’t go there now.
"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.
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