Hi guys. I’m making a new post because I just thought of a great idea for a comedy film. It would be called “Ubuntu the Gorilla”.
The film begins in a zoo, late at night. The zoo is invaded by some assholes from the Animal Liberation Front. They capture a gorilla named Ubuntu and take him to their headquarters.
They attach a strange device to Ubuntu that allows him to speak English. It is an experimental new device. The ALF is using it to prove that apes are non-human persons who deserve the right to vote.
After Ubuntu gains the ability to speak, his first words are “I’m f~~~ing hungry! I want a goddamn banana.”
ALF Guy: So … do you have any deep thoughts regarding politics or spirituality?
Ubuntu: Jesus H. Christ! I just want a goddamn banana! Are you f~~~ing stupid?
The ALF guy goes to the supermarket and buys a whole bunch of bananas. He brings them to Ubuntu. Ubuntu eats them all in less then a minute.
ALF Guy: So … um … if you could vote …
Ubuntu: More bananas!
ALF Guy: but …
Ubuntu: What the hell is a vote? I want more bananas!
ALF Guy: I already got you some. Now I’m tired!
Ubuntu: Tell your bitch to get some bananas then.
ALF Woman: I’m no bitch you chauvinist pig!
The ALF members start attacking Ubuntu for being sexist, so he runs away. He finds a hat and a trenchcoat and he walks around the city disguised as a human. Ubuntu soon meets a collage fratboy named Gordo. Gordo is initially afraid because Ubuntu is a talking gorilla, but they soon become good friends.
The two of them go back to Gordo’s apartment and watch TV while drinking booze. Gordo wants to watch sports, but Ubuntu doesn’t like human sports because they’re not violent enough. They decide to watch Planet of the Apes instead. Ubuntu likes the movie a bit too much. After that, they watch a nature documentary about wild gorillas.
Ubuntu: Is that where I came from?
Gordo: You’ve never been there?
Ubuntu: Nope! I was born and raised in the zoo.
The documentary switches focus. The documentary explores bonobos instead.
Ubuntu: Turn this off! Bonobos are a bunch of feminazi f~~s! I hate them!
Gordo: Some people have told me that homosexuality exists in a million species, but homophobia only exists in one.
Ubuntu: That’s bulls~~~. If I had a son and I caught him hanging around with bonobos, I’d smack him.
Gordo: You should have the right to vote. How come women can vote but you can’t?
Ubuntu: I know. Right? It’s f~~~ing bulls~~~!
At that moment, the cops burst in.
Gordo is taken to court. He is accused of stealing Ubuntu.
Gordo: I didn’t steal Ubuntu! He can talk! He is a non-human person and he deserves the right to vote.
Ubuntu: Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t want to vote. I want to go back to Africa.
Suddenly, the ALF assholes burst into the courtroom.
ALF guy: We need to stop exploiting animals! We keep gorillas locked up in zoos for our amusement! We imprison cows and harvest their meat!
Ubuntu: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Time out! Do not put me on the same level as a stupid cow … or any other female life form. Cows are f~~~ing stupid. I mean, I’m herbivorous, but if humans want to eat meat then that’s none of my business. It’s not like they’re eating gorillas or anything.
Gordo: Yeah … we just need to extend rights to great apes!
Ubuntu: … except bonobos.
Gordo: … right!
The US government decides to send Ubuntu back to Africa. The ALF goes to Africa as well. They attack speech devices to all of the gorillas. They soon realize that most wild gorillas are patriarchs who hate bonobos for being “feminazi c~~~s”.
The End
What do you guys think?
MGTOW: because you can (and should) say anything about a woman as long as she isn't within earshot
blade 2 years, 12 months ago.
