Mother Jokes..

[HitmanParticipant]

ok, long day so bear with me for a moment..
i had a friend who would constantly tell “mother jokes”.
if i said” i,m going out ”
he would reply ” your MOM goes out “..
.
like a scene from Napoleon Dynamite..
.
when i was a kid, we would try to out-do the next kid with ,
you guessed it , better mother jokes…
.
a favorite few come to mind,
. your mom is like a doorknob, everybody gets a turn..
.your mom is like a bowling ball, put three fingers in and throw her in to the gutter..
. your mom is so fat , when she sits around the house,
she sit’s AROUND the house..
.your mom is so fat,
kids ask to sit in her SHADE at the beach..
.
you get the idea..
immature and stupidly funny..
…..this will either be awesome ,( replys)..
or it will flop…
please give me your best “mother jokes”..!!!

[SandalsParticipant 4253]

Your mom is so poor, I went into her house and stepped on a cigarette, and she yelled, “Who put out the heat?”

[Anonymous 3]

Your momma is so fat, she stepped on a dollar bill and made change.

Your momma is so fat, she jumped up outside and got stuck.

Your momma is so old, she owes Jesus a quarter.

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

Your momma’s so fat, she can part the Red Sea with a jet ski.

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

All I have to offer is a link to a massive list of “yo momma so fat”-jokes: http://www.jokes4us.com/yomamajokes/yomamasofatjokes.html

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[Anonymous 16]

Your momma is such a slut they call her the american flag.
She has been nailed even on the moon.

I know thats a nasty one.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

Your mama’s so fat, her belt size is equator.
I could have been your daddy, but the dog beat me up the stairs.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[FermatParticipant 3478]

Your mom is so fat, when God said “let there be light” he had to ask her to move.

I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.

[Anonymous 0]

Your momma is so fat and nasty when she went to buy deoderant, Right Gaurd turned left, Secret told, and the Old Spice ship sunk.
That was my favorite as a kid.

[ShinyParticipant 2307]

When I went and saw The Force Awakens, what made the experience even worse than the feminized rehashed plot was this dumb kid, before the movie started, telling his brother “yo’ momma!” jokes in the next row of seats.

And the brother is saying, “dude, that’s our mum your talking about”.

And this idiot kid is going, “no, it’s YO momma”.

Finally the trailer-trash dad weighs in and tries to explain that its “YOUR momma” the kid is talking about, and the kid just keeps countering, “nuh-uh, its YO momma”. Thankfully the ads finally started and they all shut up.

My contribution:

Yo’ momma’s so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.

(Kudos to SMBC-comics).

[Author]

Posts