Men's Self-Control

[Anonymous 3]

In one post on MGTOW forum someone pointed to “the masculine principle” blog. I am sorry that I do not remember who it was, as I how him a large THANK YOU! I don’t want to exaggerate, but it was one of the most significant things I read in my whole life.

I had a strange path of “self-improvement” going on so far, most of it is a destructive process. It is not things that we add to ourselves, but rather the garbage that we take off. Bad concepts hold us down like heavy chains, in order to fly we have to release ourselves from those chains.
To make a long story short, I have for some time been aware of the issue of self-control. I am a very controlled guy, and I simply despise people that “lose it”. I think self-control is a manly thing, because with power comes responsibility. A child with a gun is a danger for everyone, a women with a gun is a danger for someone, and a responsible man with a gun always keeps us safe.
In “the masculine principle” blog there is something that I suspected a long time, but never was able to put into words: that man’s emotions are deeper, and women’s emotions are shallower. Never the less, i concluded that it is men that do not act emotionally and mostly rationally. It shows a large degree of control.

However men have fear: fear of loneliness, fear of losing their kids, fear of losing their freedom, fear of losing all they worked for. Fear is a great part of life, and it is said that fear stops us from living. So, even if men are rationally under control, we can mostly be controlled by our own fears.
Along my process I have been letting go of many fears and becoming more fearless. There is much to be said about this, since courage comes from acting even in the face of great fear: a man marches to a line of mosquetes under great fear for his life. To be fearless is to accept the consequences and have no fear about them, it requires no courage at all. It is easy. What is not easy is to lose fear to a comfortable degree.

A consequence of “the masculine principle” blog was that I recognized my own control and stepped it up considerably. For some time I am not constrained by many things, and only a few constrained me. Now I have a name for them: I am not constrained by Relative laws, only by Natural Laws. Natural laws are internal and have much to do with natural emotions, put inside by the Creator. And by constrain I mean that I respect them. It is by choice.

We have some impetus in our life, things that we do automatically because we have always done that way. So, my life at the moment is not a true reflection of my new “self”. My behavior needs to reflect my new views, and that is what I am working on.

As you might recall I am not a real MGTOW, since I am still married and plotting my escape. As I am reading “the masculine principle” many things fall in place in my head and I decided to change my escape route. My first plan was the “stealthy” road: lay low and one day run away.
Now I decided to go the hard confrontational way: either things get my way or I get out. I have nothing to lose, and I gain in every outcome.

I just started yesterday by telling my wife how much I am in control of myself. I said that I have physical urges that I don’t play out, and I asked her if she could stopped me physically if I did. She said no. Then I made her see the level of control I had, even emotions, and the implications of that. I can do anything, even against my strongest emotions, if I have a good reason to. I told her things are going to be different from this point forward, to the point that I WILL play out my physical urges when I want to.
She melted right there…
I have been re-framing things for her, so that she can be clear that it is MY WILL that commands me.
Every day I am stepping up things, and if they dont end up my way its going to be a s~~~storm. I will tell her constantly that there is nothing I can lose, and she can lose everything.
She has hit the wall, I dont have any wall. She has health problem, I dont. She needs help with her own job, I dont need help on anything. She fear loneliness and will be alone without me, I will thrive by myself. I have all the cards, all she can do is submit completely and live by my benevolence. And I am good when I want to, or BAD when I need to.

The only way she has to manipulate me is though my own good intentions. I have taken that away, and now there is nothing.

That is the power of MEN’S SELF CONTROL. The most powerful force in this world.

[SlingshotParticipant 171]

Good luck with that ZenState. I think the info on that site is high quality too.

I’m in exactly the same place as you as far as being married goes. I’ve changed a lot in the past few years and am heading my own way stage by stage. I’ve found my wife is pretty much in a post concusuion state and doesn’t know what to do with me now. My kids are all grown up but living at home so if we split up we will probably get 50/50. I can affort to start again but she would struggle.

I was drepressed for years thinking ‘I was doing something wrong’, but then one day realised it wasn’t me. My observations are that women are indoctrinated from birth and I think it would take a miricle for them to examine their thoughts and behaviours, let alone change.

Their nature reminds me of a story about the frog and the scorpian. I don’t think they will change unless the matrix is reset.

The Scorpion and the Frog
A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the
scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The
frog asks, “How do I know you won’t sting me?” The scorpion
says, “Because if I do, I will die too.”

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,
but has just enough time to gasp “Why?”

Replies the scorpion: “Its my nature…”

[BlacqueJacqueShellacqueParticipant 6890]

In a packed auditorium I would be the first to jump to my feet and applaud you. Well thought out ZenState, I wish you much success on your new path.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

” I have all the cards, all she can do is submit completely and live by my benevolence. And I am good when I want to, or BAD when I need to.”

Look, I understand what you are thinking, but do you really even WANT that? I don’t want anyone to submit to me. That’s like having another child that you have to worry about.

And what do you mean by playing out your physical urges? Are you talking about sex, or about violence? Because one of those is called rape and the other is called abuse. Either of those ends you up in jail and her with all of your stuff. In that respect, almost every man resists those physical urges all of the time. And I don’t want to hear about anyone on this site ending up in jail.

For the record, I am not trying to be judgmental, just giving you what I see on first read.

“Now I decided to go the hard confrontational way: either things get my way or I get out. I have nothing to lose, and I gain in every outcome.”

I respectfully disagree. If things go your way, it’s against her will. She is merely doing a cost/benefit analysis in her head and deciding that putting up with you for your resources is in HER best interest. Then she will start planning her escape, and it will happen on her terms. That is allowing a parasite to stay attached to the host, on the host’s terms. Just my opinion, but I don’t see that as a win for you.

Not trying to be a jerk here, I just want to give you another perspective to think about. I’ve been where you are and made it out the other side. All I will tell you is this: The high road has much less traffic, I’ve never run across a woman while travelling there, and you can put your head down every night with a clear conscience and sleep peacefully.

Good luck brother.

Order the good wine

[Anonymous 3]

TaxGuy wrote:

Look, I understand what you are thinking, but do you really even WANT that? I don’t want anyone to submit to me. That’s like having another child that you have to worry about.

I also understand where you are coming from, and you are right! I would never be with someone against their will, neither do something against their will. Not that is not legal, not that is imoral, not that is unethical, but because I DONT LIKE IT!
That is why this understanding comes from a long time of struggle. Because if you force someone it takes the fun out of it. So I wanted my wife to want me! And she wouldn’t, so I would be miserable.

So, what do I mean by submit? It is not the regular submission where you do things because you have no other choice, by fear of death or injury.
It is the NATURE of the female to WANT a strong man (usually the scoundrel), and to be repelled by a GOOD man. So, simply I state my wants and I will have it by her own free will. I want no lower quality things from her, no half-assed job, just the best she has to offer. If she does so, I give the best I have to offer, if she doesn’t: I get the best life without her.

TaxGuy wrote:

I respectfully disagree. If things go your way, it’s against her will. She is merely doing a cost/benefit analysis in her head and deciding that putting up with you for your resources is in HER best interest. Then she will start planning her escape, and it will happen on her terms. That is allowing a parasite to stay attached to the host, on the host’s terms. Just my opinion, but I don’t see that as a win for you.

First I would think now that women are always doing a cost/benefit analysis anyway. It is men that fail to do such analysis. I know this because that is exactly how I ended up in this situation where I have all the costs and no benefit.
She is free to plan her escape, in fact she would be doing nothing less than I will be doing if I dont have my benefits. I am sure that she would be doing a favor for me in that case.
As for the terms of the escape: I can refer to my introduction, where you will notice that I want nothing. In fact this might appear to be a stupid position, but actually is a position of force. I want my income intact, she wants all property, that is a good negotiating position for me.

I appreciate the words of support for you gentlemen.

I especially appreciate you TaxGuy for calling me on my s~~~. If a man is not able to stand on his own feet to his own s~~~ he would want man friends to point it out in a straightforward and frank way.

For all I know this might be a total nonsense. It is worth a shoot. I will keep this thread updated with the honest results, so that all can know if it works or not.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

ZenState:

I’m just happy to see that you took my post in the spirit in which it was intended. Sometimes it’s helpful to have some feedback on what someone else hears and opposed to what you are trying to say.

Please do keep us up to date.

Order the good wine

[Anonymous 3]

Slingshot wrote:

The Scorpion and the Frog
A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the
scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The
frog asks, “How do I know you won’t sting me?” The scorpion
says, “Because if I do, I will die too.”

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,
but has just enough time to gasp “Why?”

Replies the scorpion: “Its my nature…”

I enjoy this story as well. However, if you notice, the scorpion is male. Therefore the story should go like this:

A scorpion and a female frog are on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog immediately agrees and says, “I know you won’t sting me because you like me very much!” The scorpion says, “I do, and I will protect you if necessary.”
They set out, but in midstream the frog changes his mind, “I dont like you in my back, in fact I dont like you at all, get out!”, the scorpion gets thrown to the water and drowns.
Other scorpions see this and scream “Why? Why did he not sting the frog when she deserved?”
Another scorpion replies: “He went against his nature…”

This goes to say that WE MEN have been indoctrinated even further than females. In fact, I would say women do what is in their nature and are indoctrinated to believe they are entitled to, while male’s nature is highly repressed and conditioned.

And how could in not be? Males are violent instinctively, therefore they NEED the self-control I am talking about in this thread. What is easy for society is to take this attribute and build upon it. Now you are supposed to have so much self control that you don’t even think it’s wrong when you are getting ripped off. They would say “man up”, translated into: control your perfectly natural rage against this situation and do nothing.
What I am talking about is dropping all the conditioning and using this self-control in a more empowering way. Does it work? I will let you know.

[HitmanParticipant]

a man’s self control is EVERYTHING .
when a man fails to control himself, society has forces in place to control him.
the police, courts and judges make a great living from men who don’t control themselves.
better to walk away from the mess than to prove you are in control.
my ego got me in lots of trouble..

[SlingshotParticipant 171]

Anonymous wrote:

For all I know this might be a total nonsense. It is worth a shoot.

I think you already know the answer.

This situation reminds me of when the men in Altas Shrugged are approached – they have come to the end of the road and have realised how hopeless remaining is. I too cannot leave till I have tried everthing and then I can go with a clear conscience.

Good luck ZenState

May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
And may the hand of a friend always be near.

[Anonymous 3]

As I promised, I am reporting the results of my experience. Since I need a name for the thing, and for lack of imagination, I will call it the “sovereignty project”.
I am making this up as I an going, so there is no organized body of ideas or procedures yet. A sentence to describe this project should be: I WILL BE KING of my castle. The specific castle and who dwells in it (if anybody) does not matter.
My first step was to define what I wanted in the end. There is no settling for less than everything in this list:
1 – Respect for individual values and what is defined as personal.
2 – Full reciprocity in every couple related issues.
3 – I make final decisions in family related issues after consulting my partner.
4 – I am the impartial judge of standards of evaluation.

These 4 points are the end result of long thinking, and they contain a huge number of implications. Here is some examples:
– if we do something together that both enjoy, then it is “couple time.” If only one enjoys and the other goes along, then it is “one party time”, and the other has the right to equivalent time on his tastes.
– if one has time on his own things the other has right to the same amount of time.
– the definition of what constitutes personal, couple or family things is mine.
– the definition of what is the appropriate equivalence between things is mine.
– the final call is mine.

The only place I could present this plan is this site, can anyone imagine the fury of feminists with this kind of talk?
Now, I don’t see this as a ” patriarchal ” idea. I see this as things that work. And how do I know? Simply because I used every other arrangement and resulted in a bloody mess!

Now you may be wondering how can I achieve these goals. It is actually simple: straightforwardly saying things as they are. Things can and will escalate, and I am ready to go all the way.

The results so far have been encouraging, but as I said, I am making this up as I go. More to come soon…

[Anonymous 3]

I will make a short final report on this subject.

It is true that we have an inertia propelling us to do things we have always done, even when they dont make sense anymore.

This “project” is working, and has proven to be useful to me. But I realize that I am to far gone now.

It is not possible to unsee what has been seen.

Just looking at my statement of goal I realized that there is nothing of value my that wife (and women in general) have to offer me in exchange for all I do. So, this is always a bad deal for me.

Sex is nice (and has been going along just fine as a result of this), but it is not such a big deal when you have it. It is important mostly when you don’t have it.

Family? My older daughter is in University and in a psychologist dealing with the crappy “education” she got from her mother. My young kid was yesterday covering his ears not to listen to her mother and grandmother nagging him. I usually prevent this, but I cannot be present the whole time. The best I can do is to bail out and provide a refuge for him, free from their craziness.

So, the direction of “sovereignty project” is OUT. I will keep doing what I am doing, its productive, less crazy, and useful for my own development.

But the road is MGTOW.

[Author]

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