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Aggressive Females and Masculinity
Researchers have identified an aggressive streak in females that can cause long-lasting harm to you and other young men, regardless of race, background or position on the gender binary. In fact, when this toxic trait interacts with healthy masculinity, it often triggers an explosive reaction that can undermine your search for romance and love, especially if you have not learned how to overcome it. It can also leave you spiraling into darkness and despair, and even having your life snuffed out.
Worse still, while you may at some point find your life hanging in the balance, you will likely not have been taught the strategies necessary to cope. The fact is, while most males have at least some familiarity with physical altercations, including punching and other such threats, few have been trained to fight back against the weapons in the female arsenal, including innueendo, backstabbing, and character assassination.
Unfortunately, if you mention this fact in the politically correct world we live in, it usually gets mangled and misconstrued. It this not viewed as the sort of knowledge that can help you make your way in the world, but as a criticism of and attack on females. More often than not, your efforts to cope with this widely recognized threat will be labeled as misogyny, pure and simple.
This is not right. If you said, for example, that soldiers should not be taught certain ways to defend themselves because some might see these tactics as discriminatory, most reasonable people would probably say you are being ridiculous. But when it comes to helping men deal with the bad behavior exhibited by members of the opposite sex, an altogether different logic applies.
In other words, even though research – like that featured at the British Psychological Society’s Division of Forensic Psychology annual conference in Glasgow – shows that women are more likely to be verbally aggressive toward their partners than men, any effort to address this threat is dismissed as sexist. Because of this, men are left dangerously vulnerable and unable to navigate such situations, whether they pertain to intimate relationships or interactions in everyday life.
But a growing number of individuals, including clinical psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson, are increasingly willing to speak out, despite attempts to keep this issue under wraps. In a recent video interview with Anne McElvoy, Senior Editor at The Economist, Dr. Peterson went into detail about the nonphysical but aggressive acts that females regularly engage in. With the cover of political correctness blown away, Ms. McElvoy was visibly shaken by the realities he brought to light.
Identifying Aggressive Female Behaviors
Like many people in our anti-male world, Ms. McElvoy might also have been shocked to learn about the extent to which females exhibit dangerous behavior. According to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), women are to blame in 55% of homicides stemming from intimate partner violence. Despite this, feminist organizations and society at large tend to focus almost exclusively on their needs, ignoring or discriminating against victims who happen to be male.
Under the circumstances, it is up to men to do what they can to stay alive and healthy, especially if they are involved in a relationship with the opposite sex. It isn’t easy, of course, especially since so many must rely solely on their wits and accumulated life-knowledge to cope. But by listening to the words of experts such as Dr. Peterson and paying heed to the realities of your various interactions with the opposite sex, your odds of identifying and overcoming aggressive female behavior can certainly increase.
Modern Romance
If you are like many males, you’ve probably been attracted by their flashy painted faces, false eyelashes and glossy hair extensions. At some point – and maybe even recently – you have spent or are spending a lot of time and money chasing their sexy feminine wiles. Sooner or later, though, you become ensnared by their manipulations and can’t get them out of your mind. Then there are the dates and, yes, ecstatic physical intimacy. Eventually, you are in a relationship, in what might seem a dream at first.
Then one day, something shocking happens. Suddenly, she starts ranting, hurling abuse in your face. She screams, “I can’t believe you did this to me! You call yourself a man! You’re just are a child! I hate you! I’m done!” As a man, you’ve been taught – or, perhaps, learned the hard way – that you can’t say a word back, or else you’ll find her ratcheting up the volume and attacking you with a slew of morally righteous arguments, such as “You don’t know how to treat a woman!”
In that moment, your skin tingles as a lead plank careens across the inside of your gut. Your heart stops and you are taken aback by the bitter torrent she directs your way chronicling the many indignations, minor offenses, comments, acts of harassment, and awkward statements she has been subjected to by one male or another throughout her life. Her venomous memories gush out, full force, like a fire hose.
At that point, you realize that she is no longer the person you fell for – she is unrecognizable. You go silent and breathlessly consider every word you said or action you took that day or sometime earlier that might have initiated this fit of rage. Your pulse races, wondering what you should do now. You cannot simply treat her like a man – you know if you fight back like you should, you will suffer any number of consequences, and you will invariably be seen by all as the bad oppressive guy.
If you are like a great many men, you will feel like you have little choice but to succumb and accept your lot in her life. You hunch your shoulders and become a prisoner, a drone worker to her the all-powerful “queen bee.” She has relegated you to “disposable” status, knowing full well that others are lining up to take your spot.
Not surprisingly, you feel vulnerable as well. You realize that anything you say will be used against you and that you are destined to lose any argument you might have with her. Your heart stops and you draw your limbs in like a frightened puppy who only wants to escape. Finally, you simply do your best to get through it, hoping that the hostilities end and your feelings of anxiety and dread will go away.
Possible Result of Female Aggression
Unfortunately, the odds are against it. Every male who experiences an outburst of verbal violence from his woman must pause and make an important decision. This kind of aggressive behavior is probably the rocky roadmap for the relationship going forward, including after marriage and any children come along. Head this “red flag” as a call to action. Her aggressive behavior will not just lead to emotional, psychological or health-related problems. Based on FBI statistics, nearly 500 husbands are killed by their wives each year, while over 4,000 infants annually suffer a similar fate.
Research suggests that nonphysical assaults often set the stage for something more threatening. A study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology revealed that when a partner demonstrates mental or verbal aggression, it is frequently a leading indicator for physical aggression. Dr. Penny A. Leisring, a clinical psychologist, has found that nonstop haranguing can push a man to the breaking point, provoking a reaction that is invariably be blamed on the man involved.
And even when relationships end, that doesn’t necessarily spell relief for those who’ve been abused in one way or another. According to divorced fathers’ collaboration, men who are cut loose from established relationships, especially where there are children involved, continue to feel the fallout in various ways, with nearly 20,000 fathers committing suicide each year.
Man Up
To avoid such a fate, you need to man up and make a change. Whether you are already in a committed relationship or risk being in one soon, you need to step back and consider where things may really be heading. Her aggression represents a crucial life moment and the choices you make at this point will ripple across your future for a very long time. It is true that her outburst will end and sex is likely to return to the relationship, but male biology, and the seeming promise of what can only be described as sexual addiction, can’t be your only guide.
Rather, it is time to reach deep inside and harness your natural masculinity to construct a plan that leads you away from harmful relationships. You must not stick things out for the sake of peace or remain in a toxic relationship because of what it was or could be if things somehow changed. You must place your hands firmly on the steering wheel and guide your life towards freedom and a future of healthy relationships.
To begin with, you must draw boundaries that she can never cross again and eradicate any thoughts of winning back the love and trust of someone who has abused you. You should ignore the natural urge to comfort her injured emotions of what had become a toxic presence in your life. Unless you can ensure you will no longer be faced with hostile outbursts and a finger in your face, you must move firmly forward – by getting away.
Many of those who are trapped in suppressive relationships assume that when she says “but I love you…” those words will somehow heal the ills. But more often than not, this is simply not the case. To reach a better place, and to experience freedom and genuine joy, you must sever all ties with such an individual. You must build walls and completely block this person from being part of your life, in the flesh or online, directly or indirectly. Unless you end all contact and interactions with her, you risk having her squirming back into your life and destroying it.
Conclusion
Life has never been better for men than it is – or can be – now. However, to make the most of it, you need to straighten your spine, pull back your shoulders, and critically differentiate your relationships with women. Be a good person and fully engage with life. Shape your future with the virtues of masculinity you inherited from your ancestors. Over the centuries, these attributes have lifted millions from poverty, created great civilizations, and inspired mind-boggling innovations.
After your short break from women – and, perhaps, discussions with those who can guide you along the way, including a life coach or those you’ll find at Men Going Their Own Way discussion sites – look forward to finding a fond female teammate. There are quality women in this world that you can partner with.
However, to choose correctly, you’ll need to make sure you remain fully cognizant of your vulnerabilities and the potentially deadly allure of sexual attraction. Only by knowing the person you are and using that as your guide can you live the life you deserve, filled with purpose and meaning.
About the Author
Tim Patten’s latest book Masculinity Is Our Future is also available in audio format. He has published the handy investment guide: MGTOW, Building Wealth and Power. And MGTOW Why I Cheat– 11 campfire stories for men’s ears only. All his books and articles are a celebration of masculinity and pay homage to the modern men’s liberation movement.
Puffin Stuff 1 year, 2 months ago.
