I am just going to list several things here that are related, but I can’t connect them, although they are related in some way, in regards to the assumption the norm is for a man to have a woman partner and marrying so the idea is to “settle”, I guess:
* I have seen it, particularly with women, but also in general in the dating advice book, the idea of marrying “someone”. The idea is there is some generic placeholder a single is called upon to aspire to find and get ready for. The whole idea is to see how much settling will be done by a person, and how good they are as some sort of generic universal. The idea isn’t someone in particularly, just “someone”.
* Related to this last point, I have seen this conversation pop up in the past few weeks, in a church setting. The idea was that you need to put “being friends” above “lover” (I would assume sexual attraction is what is meant here). In this, there is supposed to be some prioritization that would happen, which implies that both aren’t to happen. In it, the idea is you marry “your best friend”, or something along that lines, and looks aren’t really important and some bonus I guess. Well, when individuals end up thinking that the marrying is the norm, then it is a matter of how much they give up and what to hold onto.
* Now, related to these last two points, is a practical experience I had. I move to a new city, and try to find a local church. I am trying to do the minimum at least connected with Church, get communion at least, at maybe get to know some people local and make friends and get support. Well, the priest there ends up asking if I wanted a girlfriend, and it is apparent he has a woman in her 40s or 50s in mind for me, who I have no physical attraction to now and also I seriously doubt I have anything in common with, in regards to interests. I didn’t have this at my old church in another area, but he is doing matchmaking with whomever comes in the door. The conversation about “best friend” was also part of this to, and came up. I told the priest that Paul said in 1 Corinthians that you aren’t to seek a wife, which was meant to end the conversation on this. It isn’t that I am per-se, opposed to having a woman as a partner now, just that I am interested in what works. And I seriously doubt that my randomly wandering in the door is going to end up meaning there is one woman there who would be a fit. The woman here ended up saying she wanted to be alone awhile.
So, you have this, an implied belief that everyone pairs off, and it is just a matter of how much each in the relationship are willing to put up with, in order to have someone. Is it no wonder the divorce rate gets to around 50%? No one has a clue regarding this at all. There is just a need for everyone to have “someone”, as much as “someone” is merely a placeholder for a job title, that society expects to totally fill for someone, eventhough such is really next to impossible.
In this, I had suggested men master being single and work on that, and not depend on this. I would say it “going MGTOW”, but apparently that ends up being a lot more than just staying single (I think it means taking some online courses and getting a degree in understanding the nature of women. At least that seems to be what I see with YouTube content, and factoring in how Stardusk does videos :-P). So, I will just saying master being single, and work on not needing a woman. Idea here is to grow very picky, and that can end up meaning not finding anyone. Given this reality, I say it would be best to stay single and master it, and not worry about it.
Just my thoughts here. So, is the norm, in regards to the thinking (from what you see) that the idea is that everyone will eventually find “someone”?
"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.
Eric Lauder 3 years, 9 months ago.
