Living Alone / Loneliness

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

I’ve spent most of my life living with others (family, roommates). I’ve spent a few years living alone when I was in the Army. I used to share the rent in a house with other single guys for several years. Now I live alone in an apartment. I don’t have any close friends in my city. Basically, the only time I socialize with people is when I’m at work. When I was living in the house (with roommates), I used to feed the stray cats in the neighborhood. That make me feel better after a hard day at work—sitting next to the cats and petting them. My roommates chipped in for cable TV, so I got to watch NBA games. I don’t want to pay for cable now because I’ve got too many bills & credit card debt. I have a flat screen TV, but I never use it. Watching TV is a nice distraction from loneliness, though. So is watching videos on the internet or renting Redbox movies. I have two good friends that live in my state. One (who was an Army buddy) is doing a tour in Kuwait. I write letters to him once in a while. Another friend lives about 120 miles south of me. I visit him once in a while. Both of my friends are married with a kid, so I can’t really talk about MGTOW stuff with them. There are days when I want some companionship. When I’m walking in the park or going to see a movie, I wish I could have a friend or a girlfriend to share the experience with.

When I was 17 years old, I remember I wanted my senior year to end quickly so I could get a job and live alone as soon as possible. Years later, with a job and an apartment, I’d like to be 17 years old again—just to experience the joy of youth. Just to have my old group of high school friends around me. The rat race has really destroyed my mind.

The advantage of my situation is: I can look for another job, I can pack up & move to another city, or I can save up some money for college and try to start a career doing something else. And if I decide to go back to college, I can focus on my homework without the distraction of other people living with me.

Living alone is a peaceful time of self-reflection. Sometimes the day goes by fast when I’m doing chores and running errands. Once a week I clean up the apartment. My work hours have increased, so I don’t do much cooking. Lately I’ve been eating pizza. I’m really keeping the pizza joints in business. I think keeping busy is my way of ignoring the loneliness.

I rented a storage unit and I spent a few weeks doing a complete inventory of everything I own. Most of what I need is in my apartment, but if I need that extra stuff, each box and bin is labeled with the items so I can easily find it. I have some other goals this year: find a way to make money online and get out of debt.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a pet. However, since I’m away for long periods of time, the animal, itself, would probably get lonely or feel neglected. I haven’t been able to visit family members for a while because I’m having problems with my car. Once that problem is fixed, I’m planning to visit my parents and take a look at my friend’s new house. Sometimes getting a phone call from someone (I know) brightens my day. Most of the phone calls I get are from telemarketers.

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[BeerParticipant 11832]

If your bored sign up for a volleyball league or a soccer league or flag football or something. If you sign up for a co-ed league, its going to be more of a fun/beer league than a competitive league, they’re relatively cheap to join, and game days are fun as long as you enjoy staying active. Plus if you want to just find some fun people to hang out with since you don’t know a lot of people in your area, its a great way to meet people who enjoy getting out and being active.

[anonymousyamParticipant 4605]

You can get into many things when you are alone. You can easily earn up enough money to go back to college. You can learn how to play an instrument or work on a hobby (for me standup comedy) You can get peace and rest as long as you don’t live right on route 1/9. And you don’t have a woman telling you what to do. So i advise you to use your time alone for self improvement.

Just an east coast asshole who likes to curse, If you get offended by words like fuck, cunt, shit, piss, bitch or any racial slurs then you just scroll down.

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

It would be nice to have a pet raccoon…as long as it didn’t misbehave. ; ^ )

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[Anonymous 24]

That’s awesome Monk. Yea, hiking and being in nature is always fun even when alone.

I would also second what Beer said as well for two reasons. You can actually meet people and exercise is always good for both the mind and body.

[EinherjarParticipant 608]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts mate:) And from what you have said here it sounds like you are doing fairly well for yourself. To be a single man, doing what you like to do, when you want to do it…that does not sound too bad actually. Yet, I do see that you are feeling the grasp of loneliness despite your freedom. Allow me to tell you that such a thing can be turned to something positive, and that your loneliness can be easily put to rest.

How do I know, you might wonder? Well, I used to be where you are now, just a couple of years ago. I had just broken of a 4 year relationship with a woman who had used me as a utility the for her own pleasure. She had spent those years well, cutting me of (to an increasing degree) from my family, friends and social networks. When I suddenly was alone for the first time in 4 years, I found myself lost. To regain communications with family and friends was the first thing I had to do, and luckily they all forgave me for the “dissappearance” I had been manipulated to go through with. But still there was something missing, and this is something I would want you to hear.

A man always needs someone of whom he can rely on in his day to day life, and to have this in a place far from home can be difficult. As I moved to a new city to start a new life, I quickly felt a terrible sense of loneliness. I was alone in that place, and noone knew of my existence at all. Which forced me to go out of the comfort zone. Something had to be done. And what I did was to go to every social gathering there was, both school or jobrelated, and I forced myself to go even when I did not feel like going.
And in the beginning it was strange to suddenly be so very social with people I did not know. But I forced myself to relax, to enjoy it, to be a nice person to be around. Gradually I started to know more people, to be someone to somebody. After a few months I had become very social, always something to do, some place to be. A huge difference from who I used to be. Today I feel loneliness no more, even when I have cut down on the social stuff with more than 50%. This is because I dared to do something which was uncomfortable, to do something which i never had done before.

I hope this little story of mine have served some purpose, that you see that loneliness is something that can be turned around. This feeling has a way of making you limit yourself, making you think that there is no chance for you to improve your surroundings. But if you stay true to yourself, to always have your life goals within sight, and to always be open to experience something which is new (even when you dont want to), you shall see that you can to great things, extraordinary things for yourself!

Cheers mate, and never doubt in what you can achieve!

The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal - Aristotle (384 - 322 BC)

[InfernalShadowParticipant 377]

I love living alone. I accomplish some of my biggest goals while alone. I don’t have to worry about family members barging in, their friends coming in and out of the house, or a girlfriend/wife nagging at me all the time. There are so many things you can get done while being alone.

That being said, I get what you’re saying. Even though I don’t relate, (I love my solitude) I would love to get a pet such as a dog. But, I do plan on traveling to other countries every now and then and don’t want it feeling neglected while I’m gone. Dogs are like kids and you need to give’em lots of attention.

If you’re the type that’s really social, I’d end up going to meetup groups that interest you in your area. There are plenty of meetup groups that do things such as hiking, swimming, gaming, etc. And that’s a great way to meet people in your area as well.

@monk Mode

Having a pet racoon would be awesome.

[BrujahParticipant 579]

I too live alone, almost to a fault some might say. Besides my job, I don’t really have any active social life or hobbies that requires me to be outside. No social anxiety. I just find it exhausting to put up a front for purpose of socializing.

I don’t mind being a corporate drone as my ultimate goal is a steady income to fuel my hobbies and interests so networking is not a top priority.

Even with my disdain for socializing, I still have a tiny circle of loyal friends who I meet up with a few times a month to just chill out and talk about or lives and problems. When those friends aren’t free, I head out to somewhere public just to fulfill my “social” quote needs.

If you’re feeling lonely, a temporary exit back into “civilization” may help. A pet while daunting, will keep alot of your time occupied but it at least gives you some purpose if that’s what you’re looking for.

Hell, even I had planned to lurk but even a loner like me enjoys the company of like minded peers.

Echoing Stealth Bunker, a bored man is a lonely man. I had my own personal crisis of identity when I would come home to work with almost nothing to fill my night with. Keep mind ticking.

[MonkeyMindParticipant 5340]

You get used to it and then living alone actually becomes more enjoyable.

I wouldn’t share my home with anyone now, i enjoy having my own space and my own routine far too much to give it up on someone else.

[Anonymous 25]

You can find lots of local activities that suit your tastes on a website called meetup.

Some good suggestions on here already too. If you google ‘human givens emotional needs’ that should bring up the list of basic human emotional needs (if not it will be in some of my previous posts). Focusing on meeting those needs will help. I want to get a dog, great for companionship and they are more loyal than most females nowadays. I never heard of a dog making a false allegation of domestic violence or screwing a guy over in divorce.

[505vikingoParticipant 521]

Brother,

You will be fine. Being alone takes time to get used to. The quiet can be foreboding at times. I read the other fellas responses and agree that an Astronomy club would be good. Or, volunteer at the local retirement community. Wisdom abounds there. You will meet very wise men who like my grandfather chose to live there so he could still “chase the ladies.” Often, they are very successful and will be very good mentors to you. Use this time in your life to do good deeds for others, especially our older MGTOW brothers who would likely love the company. We care about you. Hang in there.

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22521]

You can look at it from the point of view. You either live alone, in an apartment with neighbors that do not give a damn about you. Or, you can live in a jail cell surrounded by people whom wish you ill intent.

Because that is what is going to happen, if you try to have a lover and family. Because eventually the bitch is going to not only leave you, but use the government to leave you force to continue to pay the bills for her and the kids, whom you will never be allowed to see.

But, there is more, as the government destroys all the jobs for us, when you cannot pay child support government will jail you for being the victim of their wealth destruction and left of wealth polices. The government will not even allow you a lawyer, nor jury trial, because the Supreme Court considers it a “civil manner”. It is the only type of civil matter where the victim is immediately thrown in jail without due process.

This is not the time and place for a family. Actually, if there was somewhere in the world that we could go to, where the world will not intentionally be screwed up, I would suggest that. Unfortunately, I have looked and I still have not found such a place at this point of time.

Make the best of your situation. Do not get into debt. Do not trust women. And do no have father any children, nor date any women with children, because those women can use the court to make you pay for children that you are not the father of.

And always remember it can never get better, but it can always get worse.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Get a fun part time job.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[shovelheadriderParticipant 2400]

living with a women,doing what she wants is still lonesome.I tried it 3 times.I had a steady drone of her filling every waking moment.I had to block mindless drivel with thoughts of the great sex.When sex slowed down.I got lonesome for time and money I could spend in other ways.Get interested in something,find your self something. Join a club with other enthusiast of what you like. They are out there.That is what married guys do.They find a hobby where women will not want to be.A boat fishing,sporting events etc.My life is full as I live below my means.

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

Right now, I’m pretty young, and I’ve worried this might happen years down the line. As for me, I’ve always been around and lived with people I didn’t like, so being alone is perfect for me right now. I don’t miss being around negative people.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

I just can’t tolerate being around most people for very long. All my high school friends are off doing their thing and I ditched all social media contacts so I could really care less these days about what they are up to. They just fulfilled their destinies and went off to be blue pill men with a wife and kid(s).

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[GrumpyParticipant]

Living alone and loneliness are not synonymous.
I get where you are coming from though. There is a lot of excellent advise and comments from these gents.
A man is only lonely when he allows himself to be (IMHO).

I am mostly alone, yet I am never lonely. At the moment I am thoroughly enjoying the silence of my empty home (my daughter and her dog finally grew up and moved out).
I have nothing here to distract me from reading and enjoying the forums.
I will happily swill coffee and read/comment here, while purposely avoiding any and all work today.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

FunInTheSun thanks for sharing this. I know it’s something i’ve struggled with in the, and still do on occasion. A couple pieces of advices from other brothers here, that helped me:

Re…pet. if you are busy and never home…volunteer once a week at the SPCA. They have many dogs for you to walk and brush.

I’m also a big fan of meetup.com. There are literally meetup groups for just about anything – book clubs, economics discussion groups, foreign language practice groups.

My personal favorite includes latin dancing: google for salsa, bachata or tango dance classes. Fun as hell & great way to meet people. [Tango tends to be a bit older crowd, usually 30s-50s with exceptions on both sides of that range. Salsa/Bachata are typically younger, but also exceptions outside of that. FYI.]

I also noted you didn’t mention anything about working out. If you don’t already, start lifting weights. It’s the best thing i’ve ever done for myself.

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