Little Johnny and the c~~~

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

Ok, I don’t know if this has been told here previously but here goes….

One day Little Johnny overheard some older kids at the playground talking about girls.  They kept referring to “c~~~” and “pussy” during this conversation and this confused Little Johnny.  So, Little Johnny goes home and decides to ask his dad about these words.  Little Johnny says, “Dad, what is the difference between a c~~~ and a pussy?”.  His father, looking distressed at Little Johnny’s question, was in a quandary as to how he might address his son’s question.  Then he had a brilliant insight.  He grabbed his latest edition of “Hustler” magazine and opened it to the centerfold.  He showed Little Johnny the gorgeous centerfold in all of her spread eagle glory!  Dad pointed to the woman’s naughty bits between her legs and explained, “Do you see that warm, wet pink hole between her legs?”   Little Johnny all wide-eyed says, “Yes dad…”.  Daddy says, “Well, that right there son is known as a pussy!”.   Little Johnny thinks this over for a moment then poses the question, “Ok dad.  Well, then what exactly is a c~~~?”  Without missing a beat daddy replies, “You see the rest of that woman around the pussy?”  Little Johnny replies, “Yeah…”.  Daddy responds with, “Well son THAT is the c~~~!”

…and so Little Johnny lived happily ever after understanding that if he wants a little pussy he will have to go through a c~~~ to get it….

 

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

That’s a good one, Soul Man, reminds me a bit of the “story of love and madness” also here in the fun-section.

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[Krab_AssParticipant 267]

Thanks SoulMan – with that description

Soul Man wrote:

warm, wet pink hole between her legs

My mouth is watering again – DAMN!!   You have heard of ‘Pavlov’s Dog’?? (if you haven’t it is a Russian who trained a dog to salivate after hearing a bell.  The dog associated the bell with food).

Seriously though – I do start salivating – it is pretty weird!

 

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore Roosevelt

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Pavlov use to come into a bar I frequented sit down and order a drink and pay for it, I would then ring a bell and take his drink after he went to feed his dog.

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[Krab_AssParticipant 267]

Good one harpomason.

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore Roosevelt

[Mister GeeParticipant 3]

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose c~~~ was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
If was ear was a c~~~ I could f~~~ it.

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

Mister Gee wrote:

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose c~~~ was so long he could suck it He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin If was ear was a c~~~ I could f~~~ it.

Hahahahaha!  I’ve always enjoyed a nasty limerick!

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

Hey Soul Man, you know the limerick about the lady of Riga…? It maybe not quite as good as Mister Gee’s one and a bit older but…

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

Ned Trent wrote:

Hey Soul Man, you know the limerick about the lady of Riga…? It maybe not quite as good as Mister Gee’s one and a bit older but…

No Ned, I can’t say I’ve heard it.  Fill me in…

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

Ok then:

There was an old lady from Riga

Who smiled when she rode on a tiger

They came home from the ride

With the lady inside

And the smile on the face of the tiger.

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[Krab_AssParticipant 267]

@Mister Gee – I have not heard that since high school!  Thanks!  Good times…good times….

@Ned Trent – Thanks for the clean limerick.   I always have trouble remembering the clean ones but yours is a keeper.

 

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore Roosevelt

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

Krab_Ass wrote:

@Ned Trent – Thanks for the clean limerick. I always have trouble remembering the clean ones but yours is a keeper

Makes me thank my long term memory. I seem to be very blessed with that, since I actually learned that very limerick literally decades ago during my first years of English at school. Given the fact that I’m 40+ years old, well go figure …

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[Krab_AssParticipant 267]

Ned Trent wrote:

Makes me thank my long term memory.

I hear ya!  Memory is a funny thing.   I can remember parts / phrases of a German song (for children) many many years ago, like it was yesterday – we only spent a couple of days learning it.   Ask me to recall someones name that I met at a party – forget it!!

For me – I blame mental laziness on my poor short term memory.  If I lifted more ‘mental weights’ more, it would get better.

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore Roosevelt

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

limericks is it… well then allow me.

There once was a Man from Adair

who caught his French Maid on the stairs

on the 93rd stroke the bannister broke

and he finished her of in the air

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

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