Is God ready to meet me?

[Banks Control The WorldParticipant 242]

I’m f~~~ing done. I’ve put up with enough s~~~, now I can’t even f~~~ing breathe properly. F~~~ this! F~~~ this! F~~~ all of this! I believe in God, but clearly God f~~~ing hates me and I’m his most trusted play thing since Jesus. Unf~~~ing believable. F~~~ this!!!!!!!!!

[RemovedParticipant 4676]

About 7 years ago, I was right where you are. I have since grown up in my faith, and given up on religion, and in itself that is very liberating. Secondly, the experience that you are having now will not be the same a few years down the line. I spent over a year in court, fighting false accusations of abuse, child abuse, custody and other things, and life was a living hell. The year after that, was my complete digression, and I was saying nearly verbatim what you put here.

In short, this will pass, and life will be a lot better. The only difficulty will be letting go of the time that you went through it. That is where a place like this help, as you know that you are not alone, and there is a better ending possible for you.

[bladeParticipant]

Oh i get in these modes . But if i take it on my own will i will be thrown down to hell where all the c~~~s dwell .

We shall finnish the game and god will say when it’s game over

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Banks Control The WorldParticipant 242]

Removed wrote:

About 7 years ago, I was right where you are. I have since grown up in my faith, and given up on religion, and in itself that is very liberating. Secondly, the experience that you are having now will not be the same a few years down the line. I spent over a year in court, fighting false accusations of abuse, child abuse, custody and other things, and life was a living hell. The year after that, was my complete digression, and I was saying nearly verbatim what you put here.

In short, this will pass, and life will be a lot better. The only difficulty will be letting go of the time that you went through it. That is where a place like this help, as you know that you are not alone, and there is a better ending possible for you.

I understand. I’m 31 now and I’ve changed so much over the years. I had spinal cord injury in 1st year of college at 18, I’m forever f~~~ed up physically. It’s f~~~ing horrible, it’s never ending. Then when I lost my mom, grandma and dog in 2013, I rebounded. A girlfriend was there for me through it all bust laid waste to my life with false hope and promises. I was back to square 1 in 2015… now, I don’t even know what the f~~~ I’m doing. I’m going back to school in fall and starting over, but the daily f~~~ing s~~~ I have to endure that people will never understand cause I look normal walking in leg braces under the pants, I just look like some fat lazy f~~~. But worse than all of the insecurity is actually living the life day to day for about half my existence on earth. This is bulls~~~.

[Banks Control The WorldParticipant 242]

blade wrote:

Oh i get in these modes . But if i take it on my own will i will be thrown down to hell where all the c~~~s dwell .

We shall finnish the game and god will say when it’s game over

This is exactly how I see it. I’m dragging along an existence I don’t want just to prove a point, and avoid the certainty of hell by suiciding myself.

[bladeParticipant]

I use humor . I use the system and woman as my play ground .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

Suicide i have been there my friend . Things have turned out much different than i thought they would . So glad i didnt die .

Every day the sun comes up is a new day

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Removed wrote:

About 7 years ago, I was right where you are. I have since grown up in my faith, and given up on religion,

This is what I can see, when it comes to religion/faith:

As soon as we cling onto religious ideas, we start to suffer. Whatever we believe in, no matter how smart/spiritual we think we are, there will ALWAYS be holes in our “belief” system. Those “What if?” questions keep hounding us. We need to let go and be mindful.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[StealthParticipant 5339]

Whenever it seems the Universe is out to get me, it is reassuring to know that I don’t matter. It’s nothing personal.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[Banks Control The WorldParticipant 242]

At least 1-2 days a week… oh, you got IBS f~~~ing with your system? Feels like diarrhea but you constantly gotta p~~~ feeling like you also need to s~~~. Then when it finally is ready, you just miss the bathroom making a mess you’re left cleaning up. And half the time you slip on the f~~~ing tile of the bathroom or kitchen into a counter to break your fall. Why do I put up with any of this? People treat me like garbage on top of it all, even though I put on a fake face through it. To them, I’m some privileged crippled they see walking normal not understanding I p~~~ through a f~~~ing tube. Life is bulls~~~, gift for most, I lost any chance of gift at 18 years old. And most of my years were spent overweight and lazy, until I started running 2-5 miles a day and lifting every day I could push through the soreness. I can’t run now, I don’t do s~~~. And my life is getting worse, the more i understand it, just f~~~ing terrible waste of time.

[bladeParticipant]

Bro how we appear to some is not who we are .

You have had a rough ride so how much more f~~~ed can things get .

Do you have hobbies or a pet .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Banks Control The WorldParticipant 242]

For what it’s worth… I wasn’t raised anything. My favorite family members are Catholic, which I don’t agree with Catholicism. I’m not believing in God because I was indoctrinated, I’m choosing it through free will. Makes it all the worse to endure… I’ve accepted that it’s not God’s job to intervene. In fact, none of this even matters, we all die. We are all going to sleep or somewhere else and there is no way around it.

[RemovedParticipant 4676]

Banks Control The World wrote:

Uly wrote:

About 7 years ago, I was right where you are. I have since grown up in my faith, and given up on religion, and in itself that is very liberating. Secondly, the experience that you are having now will not be the same a few years down the line. I spent over a year in court, fighting false accusations of abuse, child abuse, custody and other things, and life was a living hell. The year after that, was my complete digression, and I was saying nearly verbatim what you put here.

In short, this will pass, and life will be a lot better. The only difficulty will be letting go of the time that you went through it. That is where a place like this help, as you know that you are not alone, and there is a better ending possible for you.

I understand. I’m 31 now and I’ve changed so much over the years. I had spinal cord injury in 1st year of college at 18, I’m forever f~~~ed up physically. It’s f~~~ing horrible, it’s never ending. Then when I lost my mom, grandma and dog in 2013, I rebounded. A girlfriend was there for me through it all bust laid waste to my life with false hope and promises. I was back to square 1 in 2015… now, I don’t even know what the f~~~ I’m doing. I’m going back to school in fall and starting over, but the daily f~~~ing s~~~ I have to endure that people will never understand cause I look normal walking in leg braces under the pants, I just look like some fat lazy f~~~. But worse than all of the insecurity is actually living the life day to day for about half my existence on earth. This is bulls~~~.

This is a road traveled by many. First, the trick is to own your limitations. I have injuries as well, and put on some weight from my military days. To be straight forward, I seem to get more positive attention from women now than when I had a sculpted body. It is a lot about presentation. Now, the goal isn’t to pull the attention of the women, but we often associate that to self esteem, and attribute our ability to attract the opposite sex as our worth, as has been told to us through the years. This could not be further from the truth.

Second, Stop comparing your value to how a woman views you. I can limit it to women, as men could not give a f~~~. You are doing something that so many cannot even fathom achieving, and in doing so, you found self worth greater than some slag could give you. As you get away from the attachment to the girl that you dated, remind yourself to never get attached again. It isn’t about resentment or hate, it is about logic. You need to, especially as a guy, be logical about the situation.

Third, do what you enjoy. Life is not long, nor is it about self sacrifice. Don’t go ape s~~~ and start pounding every slut, doing drugs and acting full retard, but live your life. If you like those weird Japanese cartoons, watch them. If it bothers someone, who cares. If you like to eat cereal with beer, eat it. Your purpose is not driven by another person’s wants, but by the goals that you set yourself. Remember to not let others influence your goals, or you will end up with another person’s goals instead.

[Banks Control The WorldParticipant 242]

blade wrote:

Bro how we appear to some is not who we are .

You have had a rough ride so how much more f~~~ed can things get .

Do you have hobbies or a pet .

In past 2 years since my parents lost their family home with my mom’s death and my older brother dropping out at 14-15 years old as my dad went off to do whatever… I took him in. And even he doesn’t like me, he actually thinks the worst of me. In that time, I’ve adopted 2 shelter cats a 1 dog which my brother who lives here for all of 320 a month, is upset about that too. “You were going to move a girlfriend in despite my feelings. You got pets even though I was against it”. I’m supposed to be alone and miserable apparently, I mean wtf is this??

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

blade wrote:

Suicide i have been there my friend . Things have turned out much different than i thought they would . So glad i didnt die .

Every day the sun comes up is a new day

Same here, brother blade! It is an indescribable mental state which makes blackness look like white.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[bladeParticipant]

Banks Control The World wrote:

past 2 years since my parents lost their family home with my mom’s death and my older brother dropping out at 14-15 years old as my dad went off to do whatever… I took him in.

My mum died when i was ten and my dad turned into a drunk . I grew up on my own as my siblings were much older .

I look after my father now who has parkinsons and is old .

I know that fealing . All about everyone else even when your f~~~ed .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[NomadicExpatParticipant 1785]

Man I know that feeling of hopelessness. It feels like it will be there forever, but it wont.

Things will get better, just find the small things in day to day life that can bring you peace.

Here, enjoy a c~~~ punch gif on me!

[bladeParticipant]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

blade wrote:

Suicide i have been there my friend . Things have turned out much different than i thought they would . So glad i didnt die .

Every day the sun comes up is a new day

Same here, brother blade! It is an indescribable mental state which makes blackness look like white.

Thats why i use humor alot on here . I am not really an arsehole .

I love been in nature even if it is sitting listening to birds . I am an animal and animals go on natures law .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

NomadicExpat wrote:

Here, enjoy a c~~~ punch gif on me!

Lucky that guy didnt loose his fist in that c~~~ with the state of vaginas today

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Banks Control The WorldParticipant 242]

I keep getting Server Error trying to reply

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