Involvement with BFF's Kids

[Neon_PhoenixParticipant 136]

Hey guys, been a looooong time since i posted (i think this is only the 3rd topic ive created), but this has been banging around my head for a while. I remember a while back you guys basically told me that i ‘dont need a shrink, and that the brotherhood here is all you need’. At the time, that made me feel kind of depressed, as there is an obvious physical distance between all us bros.. But now i believe you guys are right. I know i will get brutal honesty here, and thats what i need.

So anyway….i talk a lot, so ill make the core of the story short:

My BFF is a semi-unicorn i have known for over 25 years. We have been through a lot together, and emotionally she has been considerably more solid than i, as her upbringing was pretty much hell. This prepared her well to go into the field of social work, which she now is, complete with a Masters in Psych. Translation: She is great to talk to, but of course has a bias towards helping me but also suggesting things that will benefit herself as a result.

So, now, she has 3 kids (we didnt see each other for the better part of 5 years when we were both with someone, her married, in separate cities), and i am torn a bit between spending occasional time with them (she has boy/girl twins, 9 yrs old), and just GMOW and doing whatever i want. We reconnected about 1 1/2 years ago, when i moved back to this city after losing my mother. I have been healing and just doing my own thing, growing stronger and finding my way back onto my path. The thing is, im feeling better and better, working out, eating right, working harder on my work and music, and generally spending more time feeling good, doing guy stuff with my bros, staying out all night (without any bitching when i get home), and generally living an increasingly cooler life as a MGTOW.

Now here is crux of the dilemma, which may delve further into MGTOW reasoning than originally intended: Being that she is my BFF that for all purposes i can trust completely, does inadvertently (and now, purposely) shutting her kids out of my life (as their father is, admittedly, a dumbass, and they divorced around the same time i moved back), make me a bad guy? I mean, they have 2 uncles with kids the same age, in the same town, and a large family. Where does my repsonsibility (if any at ALL), lie? Does it matter if her kids grow up not calling me “uncle”, as they occasionally have, because i was only occasionally around, but otherwise enjoying the f~~~ out of my life?

Does going MGTOW isolate me? My father is in his late 70s, and he literally has no friends, and simply cant relate to people. He has been codependent on me for years.

…..am i going to end up like him? Sorry guys, this is pretty disjointed, but i write like i think. If anyone has pointed questions about the situation, i will respond as accurately as i can, without too much verbal diarrhea. Thanks bros.

Neo: "Why do my eyes hurt?" Morpheus: "Because you have never used them before"

[Anonymous 12]

This prepared her well to go into the field of social work, which she now is, complete with a Masters in Psych. Translation: She is great to talk to, but of course has a bias towards helping me but also suggesting things that will benefit herself as a result.

So, now, she has 3 kids (we didnt see each other for the better part of 5 years when we were both with someone, her married, in separate cities), and i am torn a bit between spending occasional time with them (she has boy/girl twins, 9 yrs old), and just GMOW and doing whatever i want.

Hi Neon Phoenix!
Am new here and what i take fro the story is this:

HELLO BETA CHUMP ORBIER

I think you need to get naked for a moment and tell us what your fears are.
Do you fear dying alone?
We all do, no matter how many possessions we have no matter how many sad faces are around our deathbed when we finally bite the bullet.
We do the dying part alone, nobody can walk into the next world with us.

do you fear going out and leaving nothing no legacy?
Are those kids yours? No, they aren’t.
are you the uncle?
Unless you are her brother… no you are not the uncle.

Do you have responsibility?
See beta orbiter free babysitter comment above.

Are you afraid of being alone and friendless in the latter part of your life?
And just how the firetruck is taking care of a “Nawalt´s” Kids any better than being alone and left in peace?

I think i am missing a massive piece of the puzzle here.
Please clue me in so i can stop sounding like a flipping dumbass.

[joetechParticipant]

I think you’re going to find that as those kids get older, they will inadvertently shut you and their mom out of their lives. When kids hit their teenage years the last thing they want is to be seen with ‘old’ people. Kids grow up and move on. I think you may be over thinking this. As you said, they have cousins, uncles, and their friends at school. Has your BFF brought this up, or are you feeling guilty on your own? Just be yourself, and be there for those kids when they need you. You may find that as the years roll on you and your BFF will grow apart. You’re not required to have a relationship with those kids, and if it’s bothering you, ask yourself why.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Anonymous 18]

You are nobody for her kids. No matter what they call you.

If being there for them makes you feel more wholesome then go for it. That’s your calling. Don’t expect anything in return.

Ps- all ex husbands are dumb assess. Women speak.

[Anonymous 43]

why are you worried about what unrelated children think of you?

I am afraid of these kids thinking that you are the new daddy.

I am concerned you have a woman friend with 2 kids…what’s the tipping point where you get married and entangled in this vortex of s~~~? either you help her with her s~~~, or you are her project and she is fixing you.

there are men here who have done what you do, and lived to regret it.

they divorced when you came back? ummm you missed the signal to move from orbiter to chad… there is something in you she wants otherwise she would not continue the friendship/allow you to orbit. she blew up her marriage for you amigo.

there is one purpose to have a woman close to you. so you can f~~~ her. I am guessing you had that intention once, and that faded away…the kids maybe or the thought of the husband doing something to you. once you f~~~ her, she is no longer your friend. game over.

right now, you are your own c~~~ block. the sooner you bang this woman and get her out of your system the better. then you both can move on. she will have thrown her husband away for a good cause, to f~~~ you. you got the satisfaction of having her.

I bet her kids are waiting for you to f~~~ this woman. men being friends with women is not natural.

ready for this? f~~~ing this woman will be the worst sex you will have ever had. terrible, awkward, unnatural, like f~~~ing a cousin, in the back of your head the rational brain will be fighting the lizard brain. make the lizard brain win. take her. do all the things you ever wanted to do but was afraid to try. get it out of your system.

the next day, she will tell you to go away. she may move away from you.

that day will be a good day, because you will have killed your white whale, Ahab. set your self free of the desire you are hiding from everyone but is obvious to everyone.

stop orbiting. stop teasing her. stop teasing yourself, stop being the kids’ friend.

next thing, being alone. mgtow means going your own way. if that way is alone, so be it. mgtow do not orbit, we avoid women, particularly single mothers because of the s~~~ vortex they create.

if by some miracle this woman accepts you as her new chad, you are f~~~ing doomed. you are the new daddy, and in a few years, you will be asked to pay for stuff, small things at first…groceries or a tank of gas, then dr bill, or short vacation, then mortgage and car payments. at this point you are swirling in the s~~~ vortex. she can only pay you back in sex. until she thinks her f~~~ing you means you have been paid in full.

good luck with your deal, pal. if I misread your situation, please forgive me. its 1:30 in the morning and I am fighting demons of my own. I go out of my way to avoid the things you are involved in right now.

that’s is my read of your situation. I think sex is a disgusting act, yet I think that is what will set you free. well, do what you have to do.

me, I would move away from this temptation and deliver myself from evil. I believe this woman is your kryptonite.

[JackinovParticipant 5229]

I garuntee this woman is not a unicorn.

Now, even if dying alone is your concern, do you REALLY think this woman is your best bet to tie yourself to? A woman with three kids and no husband? A woman in general?

Not to mention, you have absolutely zero responsibility for or to these kids. ZERO. They are not your children.

As far as dying alone goes, there are friends you can make, assisted living homes with 24/7 care, cellphones, government surveillance, yadayada. Point is, THAT isn’t really an issue.

What if you are laying upon your death bed, your loving wife squeezing your hand in your last moments, and then she needs to use the bathroom. BAM- you just died alone LMAO.

are you a chia pet in man drag

[Anonymous 43]

why is this woman friends with you? you mean something to her, something of great value.

why are you orbiting? are the twins your kids? are you sure?

why are you orbiting for a second time? you sure these are not your kids….

something oogey here…woman wants something, otherwise she would shut you out.

dying alone? really? we all die alone dude. you on the death bead on the 50 yardline at a packed football stadium, you die alone, and everyone goes home, back to their lives. you go in a refrigerator awaiting final disposal. f~~~ thinking about dying alone.

[Anonymous 0]

Get away now!!
If all it took is a few hundred miles of blacktop to get away from her, do it again. There is NO UPSIDE HERE FOR YOU
You will always be third class in her life
Herself, kids, you. If she doesn’t have a dog, then you are fourth class.
If anything was going to happen in the last 25 years, it would not have already happened.
Dying alone is preferable to living in hell and then dying alone anyway.

[AwakenedParticipant 35202]

You have a LOT going on in YOUR HEAD !!

I Think that YOU NEED to SIMPLIFY !!

If it was me, I would just STOP WASTING TIME with Her, and HER Kids HAVE THEIR MOTHER AND THEIR UNCLES. NONE OF THEM NEED YOU !!

YOU ARE WAY OVERDUE TO START FOCUSING/REFOCUSING ON YOU AND YOUR LIFE !!

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

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