Introduction/Breaking up with girlfriend

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

Hi guys, I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past 11.5 years – we have lived together for 9.5 years in her house. I think my relationship is about as good as it gets – we don’t fight or generally have problems. I pay only my half of shared expenses plus gifts for birthday/Christmas – and that is all. Still, the “compromises” and obligations that come with a relationship aren’t nearly worth the cost.

For the past year, I have been putting myself in the best position I can to leave. I signed an apartment lease last week and I’m moving in three days. My girlfriend has no idea about what is going on. I have only told two guys I know – everyone else knows my girlfriend and I can’t risk them white-knighting and telling her I’m leaving.

I was introduced to Red Pill ideas about 3 years ago, and realized that I have always had a natural inclination towards a red pill/MGTOW mindset.So, even as a blue pill guy, I did some good things to help protect myself in the relationship that I think will minimize the fallout from the break up: I live in her house (I sold mine when we moved in together), we have no shared accounts – my name isn’t even on utilities, not married (not in a common-law state), and no kids.

I always wanted to be able to leave quickly if I needed to – and the time has come! It will be interesting to see what happens with the break up – I’m not sure what to expect from her- so I have quietly moved everything I can into a storage locker. I will move everything else out of the house when she is at work, then plan on telling her I’m leaving. I feel like this gives me the best chance to get out quickly and without any incidents.

It’s great to find a site with like-minded men. I’ve never done anything like this before, so if any of you have experience with this kind of thing or advice, I would love to hear it!

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

welcome!
i’m glad you found the path to freedom

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Heave-Ho MgtowParticipant 1797]

You have done your research and have prepared yourself well. Do not let her or anyone you don’t truly trust know where you are going. Get a post office box and transfer your mail there.

Dig in, hold on and be ready for anything brother. Welcome.

skip the cavernous vag and go your own way

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

Blue Skies wrote:

welcome!
i’m glad you found the path to freedom

Thank you! I’m very much looking forward to being free.

Heave-Ho Mgtow wrote:

You have done your research and have prepared yourself well. Do not let her or anyone you don’t truly trust know where you are going. Get a post office box and transfer your mail there.

Dig in, hold on and be ready for anything brother. Welcome.

Thanks for the advice. A PO box is a great idea – I hadn’t thought about that.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[Anonymous 43]

do not tell her you are leaving.

Why ruin the ending of your happily ever after?

Best part of your deal…no government involvement, no legal bulls~~~, no alimony and no kids. Beautiful.

I was married for 10.5 years, I get a chunk of her social security when she retires. lol

When you walk away, I think you are free and clear.

Well done and welcome brother.

[Anonymous 43]

Oh these will be the strangest three days of your life. You will live outside your body, like a first person role playing game. This gives you amazing clarity and allows you to understand you are making the right decision.

Try not to smile too much, or she will think you will propose marriage…lol

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

El Duderino wrote:

I’m not sure what to expect from her

Expect a complete s~~~ storm. Social media character assassination, allegations of physical/verbal/emotional abuse, restraining orders, admissions of affairs in an attempt to p~~~ you off, attempts to reconcile, … I could go on for days.

Welcome home, Dude.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Hello ElDuderino, and welcome to the forums.

El Duderino wrote:

Still, the “compromises” and obligations that come with a relationship aren’t nearly worth the cost.

Perfectly understood.

Radio personality Tom Leykis has been married four times. In his No Compromise! episode, he said out loud exactly what I had been thinking for many years….

“I have tossed out the idea that compromising is required to make a relationship work. If you have to compromise who you are – in any way – you’re with the WRONG PERSON. And maybe there is no right person….”

El Duderino wrote:

minimize the fallout from the break up

El Duderino wrote:

I’m not sure what to expect from her-

This I tell you from experience…. if you really don’t know what to expect and she’s that unpredictable and you sense she may lash out destructively , take certain steps to make her want to end it.

“Feign Beta”.
Become a turn off.

Become the groveling, pathetic blue pill beta boy women can’t stand. The one that makes her sick. The one that showers her in comments like “you’re the reason I breathe”, too many “I love you’s” etc., and it may even inspire her to cheat. She will be more likely to feel sorry for you. Allow yourself to come off as a sad case loser and let her believe it. Thats the idea. Even better if you tell her you have no money, you’re broke and you lost your job.

Use your creative imagination here.
Encourage her to plan her departure.

When she breaks it off or “needs to talk”, act all devastated and maybe even shed a tear. *Sniff*.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh these will be the strangest three days of your life. You will live outside your body, like a first person role playing game.

It’s funny, that’s exactly what it has felt like as I’ve been sneaking around, getting an apartment, buying furniture, and moving stuff out. It’s kind of surreal.

I guess I need to think about how to break up with her or if I should tell her anything at all. I just assumed I would let her know the relationship is over, but I guess I don’t have to do it in person.

Solo MAN’S Wisdom wrote:

El Duderino wrote:

I’m not sure what to expect from her

Expect a complete s~~~ storm. Social media character assassination, allegations of physical/verbal/emotional abuse, restraining orders, admissions of affairs in an attempt to p~~~ you off, attempts to reconcile, … I could go on for days.

Welcome home, Dude.

Thanks. I know all these things are possible and some of them will happen for sure. I’m hoping she’ll take the bargaining/reconciliation route.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

Keymaster wrote:

Hello ElDuderino, and welcome to the forums.

Thanks!

Keymaster wrote:

El Duderino wrote:

Still, the “compromises” and obligations that come with a relationship aren’t nearly worth the cost.

Perfectly understood.

Radio personality Tom Leykis has been married four times. In his No Compromise! episode, he said out loud exactly what I had been thinking for many years….

“I have tossed out the idea that compromising is required to make a relationship work. If you have to compromise who you are – in any way – you’re with the WRONG PERSON. And maybe there is no right person….”

I’ve listened to Leykis a lot the past year – good stuff. And, that is exactly how I feel about compromise. Compromise really means doing what she wants.

Keymaster wrote:

El Duderino wrote:

minimize the fallout from the break up

El Duderino wrote:

I’m not sure what to expect from her-

This I tell you from experience…. if you really don’t know what to expect and she’s that unpredictable and you sense she may lash out destructively , take certain steps to make her want to end it.

Well, the things is, I feel like I do know what to expect. I don’t think she would make false allegations, assault me, or anything else like that. BUT…I’ve never broken up with her. I’ve heard enough crazy stories to know that anything is possible.

Keymaster wrote:

“Feign Beta”.
Become a turn off.

Become the groveling, pathetic blue pill beta boy women can’t stand. The one that makes her sick. The one that showers her in comments like “you’re the reason I breathe”, too many “I love you’s” etc., and it may even inspire her to cheat. She will be more likely to feel sorry for you. Allow yourself to come off as a sad case loser and let her believe it. Thats the idea. Even better if you tell her you have no money, you’re broke and you lost your job.

Use your creative imagination here.
Encourage her to plan her departure.

When she breaks it off or “needs to talk”, act all devastated and maybe even shed a tear. *Sniff*.

I’m moving stuff from my storage unit into my apartment on Tuesday. Depending on how long it takes me to get set-up and move my other stuff, I’ll be leaving on Wednesday or Thursday – So, 4-5 days is probably not enough time to put that plan into action.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[KeymasterKeymaster]

El Duderino wrote:

And, that is exactly how I feel about compromise. Compromise really means doing what she wants.

Truth brother. I have always known that 50/50 relationship crap is crap. She gives you two choices , asks “do you want to do X or Y today?” …. and you’re only permitted to select from her two controlled choices.

Tell her you really want to do Z, and POOF! you’re an asshole.

I know it like the back of my hand.

El Duderino wrote:

plan into action.

I would wish you luck, but luck is not a factor.
A very peaceful and contented New Year without compromise to you.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

Keymaster wrote:

El Duderino wrote:

And, that is exactly how I feel about compromise. Compromise really means doing what she wants.

Truth brother. I have always known that 50/50 relationship crap is crap. She gives you two choices , asks “do you want to do X or Y today?” …. and you’re only permitted to select from her two controlled choices.

Tell her you want to do Z, and POOF! you’re an asshole.

I know it like the back of my hand.

Yes sir, that sounds about right. For me, it’s going home early because I don’t want to hear about how I’m never at home. It’s going out to dinner with her feminazi friends because I know not doing so will create a problem. I’m done with that s~~~ forever.

Keymaster wrote:

El Duderino wrote:

plan into action.

I would wish you luck, but luck is not a factor.
A very peaceful and contented New Year without compromise to you.

Thank you, and the same to you.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[pabsawakeParticipant 1761]

welcome brother

"You can either love women or understand them, you can't do both". Truth over everything

[Heave-Ho MgtowParticipant 1797]

Who doesn’t like a happy ending? You sir picked the right place to plan your freedom

skip the cavernous vag and go your own way

[KeymasterKeymaster]

El Duderino wrote:

It’s going out to dinner with her feminazi friends because I know not doing so will create a problem. I’m done with that s~~~ forever.

Either we dated then same girl.

… or ASSPOWALT.
“A Statistically Significant Percentage Of Women Are Like That”.

Looks like you have the matter under control and that’s the sort of thing you can be direct about. She creates a problem if NOT going is going to be “a problem”.

“Do what I want or else” is emotional terrorism a man can live without.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

Keymaster wrote:

Either we dated then same girl.

… or ASSPOWALT.
“A Statistically Significant Percentage Of Women Are Like That”.

Looks like you have the matter under control and that’s the sort of thing you can be direct about. She creates a problem if NOT going is going to be “a problem”.

“Do what I want or else” is emotional terrorism a man can live without.

Brother, I think it’s every woman I’ve ever been around.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[JVBParticipant]

Welcome brother. You’ve planned well, now to weather the storm that is coming. She’s gonna come at you from all angles. Ignore her and don’t buckle. Good luck. Remind yourself your doing the right thing. Keep us posted.

Peace is > piece.

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

I would just leave a goodbye note. It is cold, simple, and too the point. You owe her nothing more.

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[bladeParticipant]

If your relationship is so good and you have been with this woman 9 years and explain her like a unicorn . I don’t get it . You explain a happy little life with a unicorn and for no reason what so ever just want to up and go .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

blade wrote:

If your relationship is so good and you have been with this woman 9 years and explain her like a unicorn.

– We have been together 11.5 years.

-I don’t mean to give the impression that she is a unicorn/NAWALT, she most certainly is not.

-When it comes to finances, she has been an outlier – I thought that was worth mentioning. I have no doubt that she is holding out for future benefit – I’m finishing a degree in the medical field and will be making pretty good money in the near future. She is, no doubt, expecting me to pay in the future.

blade wrote:

I don’t get it . You explain a happy little life with a unicorn and for no reason what so ever just want to up and go .
[quote quote=382207]

I didn’t mean to give the impression that the relationship is good. As I said in my OP,

“I think my relationship is about as good as it gets…Still, the “compromises” and obligations that come with a relationship aren’t nearly worth the cost.”

Saying that I think the relationship is about as good as it gets does not mean my “relationship is so good.” The best s~~~-sandwich is still a sit-sandwich.

I’ve read and heard a lot of horrific stories of men who live in hell – constant fighting, threats of violence and actual violence, and men who are bankrupt and have their children taken and used as pawns.

I’m very lucky to not be in that kind of a situation – and I want to give as accurate of a reflection of my situation as possible. But, I’m not delusional – I’m ending the relationship because I’ve come to the same realizations that I’m sure you, and many others on this site, have come to – there is no benefit for a man to remain in a relationship.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[Author]

Posts