Intro to an Asian family

[bullhuggerParticipant 12]

Jason here,

I was raised in a traditional family of an Asian household. My father the sole provider is responsible for 2 children and a wife for almost 20 years. He divorced in 2001 after 13 years of marriage and continued to provide financially to 3 family members for the next 9 years. When me and my sister were capable of providing for ourselves, we voluntary opted not to rely on our father to provide for us. My mother however is incapable to do so. She is a housewife that during our upbringing chose to bring us along to her gambling den in a run down neighbourhood. Once her addiction to gambling was revealed accidentally by me to my father, she begin to accuse my father as the root cause of her addiction. Her claim being he did not spend enough time at home as a husband and father resulting in her resolving stress by gambling apparently.

We did not fully understand the struggle my father was going through at the time. Until her addiction started to attract some dangerous group of loan sharks. At this moment me and my sister have to repay her debt and we have been doing so for the last 5 years. At home, my mother does not do any housewife responsibility that she previously holds in high regard yet she finds flaw in my family apparent disgusting hygiene. She repeatedly go off for a period of time to gamble and justify it as her only method of being financially independent.

We were at a point where all the convenience, resources and advantages were given to her, and yet our extended family seemed convinced that we had abuse her. Maybe it was because she got the words out first or that the general believes is the man is always at fault. Either way, we are frustrated on how the biased the opinion of general public always lean towards ex-wife or single mother favour.

Please, if you cared enough about a person who claims to be the victim, check on both parties. The chances that the situation may not be what the victim claims. In this example of mine, my father is the biggest victim, me and my sister are just picking up what baggage there is that my mother still leave behind.

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome brother .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[ghostParticipant]

Welcome, bullhugger.

[Old BuckParticipant 3596]

Nice to meet you, Jason.

You will find many guys here with the same life changing experiences.

We are not alone!

Don't chase tail. Turn yours around, walk away, and live free!

[KaidoParticipant 2395]

Welcome brother.

What people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle. Rise above. Focus on science.

[anonymousyamParticipant 4605]

bullhugger wrote:

Until her addiction started to attract some dangerous group of loan sharks. At this moment me and my sister have to repay her debt and we have been doing so for the last 5 years.

Why would you be under the obligation to pay your mothers debt?

Your mother caused it thereby she is the one who deserves to be paying the debt and she is the one responsible to whatever happens to her because of it (if she gets killed then she is the one that brought on her death by dealing with loansharks and gambling).

Just an east coast asshole who likes to curse, If you get offended by words like fuck, cunt, shit, piss, bitch or any racial slurs then you just scroll down.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Welcome to the fold.

And why pay you mother debts? F~~~ her, spoiled s~~~.

Take your s~~~ and desapear.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[Anonymous 5]

You’ll find that a huge chunk of MGTOW is realizing how often women play the victim card. They’ll blame everyone and everything for their horrific life choices. The worst part is they’ll convince themselves that what they’re saying is true, so it’s no use at all trying to reason with them.
Both you and your sister face the terrible choice of continuing to enable your mother or cutting her out of your life, which goes against everything you’ve ever believed. And that’s all you’re doing now, enabling her.
Problem gamblers always destroy the lives of the people around them. The closer you are to them, and the more you love them, the more you’ll suffer.

A warm welcome to the forums and thank you for the intro.

[Anonymous 3]

Thank you for your intro & your honesty. Welcome!
You have to be the one to change the situation. Right now you are as much a victim of her gambling as she is.
Stop enabling & move on with your own life.
MGTOW

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

Welcome.

Let the loan sharks have your mother as payment.

[bullhuggerParticipant 12]

Loan shark at the end of the day wants to get their money back no matter the method. I know an ex colleague of mine slipped up and loan sharks runner began showing up in the office. Even if you got fired in the process they will only resort to enslaving you as their runner or smuggler or some other job that puts you at risk instead of themselves. So both me and my sister are paying off the loan shark to avoid that situation and we agreed to pay the principal debt only.

I am grateful for the advise and criticism, as I said this is my cautionary tale of always looking at both parties before forming an opinion of others. We are tired of having to defend ourselves against relative claims that we forced her gambling addiction, without asking us what happened first.

//edit: As far as cutting her off, we are not in a position to do so currently. We still have a mortgage to pay off and selling the house on these time is difficult. We will eventually cut ties with her but at the moment we have to endure until an opportunity arrive.

[Anonymous 3]

Your situation appears to be a very painful one.
I wish you the best in resolving it.
Good luck on all accounts

[AttonParticipant]

Don’t trust your life to a crazy bitch and you will be fine. Welcome bullhugger

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Can’t Stump TrumpParticipant]

But . . . but . . . but I thought Asian women were different! Are you saying that ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT???

What a surprise.

Oh, and welcome.

Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.

[King SolomanParticipant 64]

Sounds rough brother! Hope you can extricate yourself from this mess soon and start living your life for you. Welcome!

Learning by others past mistakes doesn't make me better than them but grateful for their sacrifice

[hdvrodParticipant 1109]

Welcome Jason!

Anyway communication, real open communication, is not wanted or even required in a relationship. Women cannot handle fully open and honest communication, plus most perceive it as a weakness on the part of a man. All that is required is catering to her whims, and even then nothing is certain. There is no way to be sure of having a successful relationshit with a woman. MGTaoist

[MonkParticipant 16985]

bullhugger wrote:

When me and my sister were capable of providing for ourselves, we voluntary opted not to rely on our father to provide for us.

Respect. That was very honourable of you.

Her claim being he did not spend enough time at home as a husband and father resulting in her resolving stress by gambling apparently.

This is a classic line. Usually it’s other men, rather than gambling.

At this moment me and my sister have to repay her debt and we have been doing so for the last 5 years.

Why? It is her debt, not yours. She is divorced and no longer family, so it’s not a matter of family honour. She is no good and won’t stop, so cut her loose.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

What a sh!tty predicament. Sorry to say….glad I’m not you. Hope you see clear of that bullshyt soon.

[bullhuggerParticipant 12]

Monk wrote:

Why? It is her debt, not yours. She is divorced and no longer family, so it’s not a matter of family honour. She is no good and won’t stop, so cut her loose.

Well, loan sharks do not concern themselves with these details. As long as you are the next closest relative, you will be forced to pay the debt. My sister and I are paying off the debt in order to continue our job without the risk of loan sharks crashing into our office.

If you are wondering how they are able to locate us. Every loan must be tied with the debtor identification or passport number. With the address visible to these loan sharks, they will have a runner who follows us to our offices.

[bullhuggerParticipant 12]

An update to her situation, she just got into a car accident last Friday. Unfortunately she didn’t die and the car still needs to be fixed. My car has been taken away from me in place of her idiocy. I had to walk 30 minutes from train station to the traffic police station reporting the incident. Almost got run over on the journey by another fat f~~~ driver who can’t pay attention to the road beside eating his quarter pound cheese burger and drive at the same time. All these things that I’m forced to do for her, yet to hear a word of gratitude.

Fortunately we found a buyer for our house and are in the process of transferring land ownership. Once this is over a portion of the money will be split for her to disappear from our family for good. I thank all those MGTOW who listened and given me and my family advice and support.

[Author]

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